Angel in the Courtyard [Book 2]

Chapter 13 - Khaleel

I thought I was making progress with Arisa at my father's wedding. I thought by the end of the Walima, she was going to be mine but my hopes were shattered quickly. When Kumar and I took her home, she was quiet for the majority of the ride and insisted on sitting a safe distance from me. My uncle picked up on the tension too. He went as far to turn on the radio, just so there would be something to fill in the uncomfortable silence.

"Thank you so much for the lift Kumar," Arisa said, unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Always a pleasure," he replied, eyeing me to walk her to the front door.Like an idiot, I watched my crush rush out. "Go fix whatever you fucked up," Kumar added to me.

"I don't know what I did," I argued.

Kumar's expression was scary.

"Okay, okay, I'm going."

I caught up to Arisa on her front porch and searched her eyes under the deck lights. They were still and unwavering. "You're mad at me and I want to know why," I said.

"I'm not mad at you."

"You are."

"I'm not."

I exhaled sharply. "Is it because of what happened in the courtyard?" It was the only explanation I could think of.

Her eyes shifted.

I nodded. "Our kiss scared you."

Arisa dropped her head and covered her face with her hands, making her bangles clink together. "It's not the kiss," she clarified. "It was the fight."

I took her wrists and pulled them apart, getting her to look up at me. "That scared you?" I asked confused.

"Your world scares me," she admitted. "Just because I know how to hold my ground, doesn't mean I want to live my whole life in the lion's den. I want a normal high school experience. I want normal friends who I can do mundane things with and...I want a normal boyfriend."

I swallowed hard.

"I don't want to date a delinquent, Khaleel," she went on. "I mean that was the reason I broke up with Loyal—I didn't want to support someone who chose to be Devil on the Rooftop. How can I just waltz into your world after that? Into a world where violence is the norm and conflict resolution is achieved by using your fists?"

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, frustrated by the whole situation. "What did you want Loyal to do? Change his world for you? I don't like fighting either but it's what I grew up with. It's what I know. It's in my fucking blood. It sucks that you found a new reason to be disappointed in me."

"I'm not disappointed," Arisa said. "It's just—"

"Fear," I acknowledged.

Her eyes were glistening now, as if she knew what I was going to say next. "If it's normality you want then I might not be the answer. I can't change my world for you, Arisa."

"You shouldn't have to change your world for anyone," Arisa replied. "Ugh—this is why it's hard for me to rationalize what I'm feeling. Your world—I was blissfully lost in it because it's so inviting and beautiful. I mean, look at me! Look at what I'm wearing! I feel like a princess in this! I don't want to take it off, ever!"

I brought her in for a hug. "Then don't."

Arisa went quiet.

I pressed her face to my chest and rested my head onto hers, hoping she would somehow stop being afraid. My life was far from norma and I sympathized with her struggle to accept that but I wanted her to try harder. I wanted her to fight for me, the way I had been desperately fighting for her.