Angel in the Courtyard [Book 2]

Chapter 28 - Khaleel

I couldn't stop shaking my leg. After finally getting Loyal to text me back, I now had Zander ignoring my messages. I was blindsided by his relationship with Tomasia, but I never got a chance to directly ask him for the details. I knew something was up when she went out of her way to take care of his broken jaw. I joked about there being a spark between them. Was that when things started? Did Loyal know? Did he give them his blessings?

Mr. Arkins's lecture about cell ultrastructure was over an hour long. I tried to pay attention to what he was saying but it was fucking hard. My neighbour had to nudge me when Mr. Arkins called on me to answer a question. Thankfully, I was able to dodge it by playing dumb. During our fifteen minute break, Arisa came over to check up on me. I couldn't even smile at her because my mind was so full. She knew how freaked out I was about the scandal, and she even offered to get answers from Matilda for me. Of course I told her that wasn't necessary.

"You guys used to be friends and now you're not," I said. "I feel responsible for it."

Arisa smiled sweetly. "Well, aren't you grown?"

"You think so?" I laughed nervously. "I don't think I've ever felt this clueless. My boys are going through shit and I can't do anything to help them."

Arisa walked around the counter to place her hand on my shoulder. I felt her rub my back. Her touch was comforting and warm. "You don't have to carry everyone's problems on these shoulders," she said. "Zander will tell you everything when he's ready."

I wanted to pick her up, and sit her on the counter, just so I could smother her with kisses. How did she always know what to say? Why did her words always resonate with me? Was it because I wanted them to or because she was that intuitive? From the corner of my eye, I caught Matilda walking towards us. I got my head out of my ass and read the room. It seemed like Arisa was doing the same, as she cautiously pulled her hand away from me. We didn't want to hurt Matilda. We didn't want to showcase how happy we were together.

"Matilda," I acknowledged her.

Matilda's eyes looked so sad. "Is it true?" she asked. "Are Zander and Tomasia really dating?"

Her question surprised me. I guess she didn't know any of the details either. "I don't know," I replied. "I'm just as confused as you are."

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" Matilda's head dropped. "I thought we were friends. Maybe not the best of them, but I thought we were close enough that she would open up to me about this kind of stuff."

"Khaleel feels the same way," Arisa spoke up. Matilda turned to look at her. I thought it would be a little awkward but it surprisingly wasn't. "He's feeling what you're feeling, so I'm going to let you two talk through it."

My heart dropped. I didn't want her to leave but I couldn't ask her to stay either. "I wish she wasn't so accommodating," Matilda commented, taking the empty seat next to me.

"You and me both," I admitted.

Matilda's expression softened.

"Sorry," I said. "I promised myself I wouldn't talk about my feelings for her with you. It's hard to be honest, I'm so used to leaning on you."

"I'm sorry too," Matilda said.

"For what?"

"For liking you."

I blinked at her. Fuck. Her wording. Her phrasing. It wasn't past tense. What the hell was I supposed to do with this information? Arisa shouldn't have left. What could I do to call her back? What could I say to change the subject? I wasn't grown. I was lost. Now more than ever, I was navigating in the fucking dark.

"Y-You shouldn't have to apologize for liking someone," I strategically said. "Sorry I couldn't reciprocate."

"You shouldn't apologize for that."

We stared at one another and then smiled. There were a lot of apologies going around and I guess that was better than the alternative.

"I'm happy I was honest about it," Matilda said, breaking eye contact. "Otherwise, I would be silently hurting like Tomasia has been. Pretending to hate someone you love can be really draining."

I caught Arisa looking back at us from her seat at the front of the class. Her smile comforted me from afar. Man, I was really lucky to have her in my life. She made everything better by just existing.

"At least, for me it was," Matilda added.

My eyes flashed in her direction. Shit. I didn't know what to say to that either. I tried to coach my thoughts through the process. It was okay that she hadn't moved on yet. I couldn't rush her into it either. I had to understand what she was saying, and let her get out what she needed to without being an asshole. I learned my lesson the hard way, when Arisa told me she couldn't date someone who scared her. I couldn't force Tomasia to stop feeling a certain way, but I could wait things out.

"I think Tommy needs you now more than ever," I told Matilda. "Sometimes people are too afraid to ask for help...sometimes all they need is a shoulder to lean on. And from what I know, you've got some pretty solid ones."

Her smile was heartwarming. "Thanks Khaleel."