SECRET ADMIRER {COMPLETE}

Forty-Five

~Lam~

I've been crossing my "t's" and doting my "i's", I want my man back and I'm doing all I can to get him back. If that means apologizing to Beam a million times I'll do it. It took this break, even though Park refuse to label it as such. For me to realize the little things that Park does for me. I miss how he makes sure my toothbrush has paste on it before I brush my teeth. And even something as simple as getting me lunch.

I miss his hug, his kisses ,his shlong and I miss his touch. The School of engineering won the Annual campus games this year and we will be celebrating all weekend. The last thing I want ,is to go to bed hugging on my pillow, instead of my man. As I sat at the Cafe sipping on my ice coffee, I noticed Beam finally pull up.

" You look well rested..." I said noticing the little limp in his walk. He blushed and set his stuff on the table. He then order a cappuccino.He sat across from me, I guess here goes nothing. I cleared my throat "Ummm... I want to apologize in person for our altercation, the other day.If I hurt your feelings in anyway, I'm sorry and I hope we can move on from it"

~Beam~

While listening to Lam's forced apology, I couldn't help but doubt every word that left his lips. There wasn't an ounce of sincerity in his voice.I guess, he is doing anything to get on Park's good side. I smirked after his lousy apology, " You find this funny?"-Lam asked. I shook my head no, but couldn't hold in my laughter. " You know, I've always thought you called the shots in your relationship. But seeing you here, putting your pride aside says a lot about how much you love Park." I said.

He rolled his eyes, "listen I need you to tell Park I indeed apologized to you. No need sitting around like we are friends. I'm leaving first"-Lam. As he got up to leave, I cleared my throat and said " You know what? you were right..." I said. This statement stopped him in his tracks. He turned to me and said " about what?..."-Lam.

I sighed and said, "... about N'Sharp... what you said in the car that day... about me liking N'Sharp. You were right." I said, avoiding his gaze. He walked back to his seat and looked at me in silence. I was waiting for him to say something rude, but I guess he wanted to hear what else I had to say. " ... And, you were right about Forth knowing about it. In fact, looking back on it now, I knew it too. Just as he knew you had feelings for him and he pretended not to know"I said.

His facial expression changed when I brought that up. " Why are you telling me this?"-Lam said looking me in the eyes with a confused look. " Well, you are not my favorite person, but the most blatantly honest person that I know... I reflected on your words from that day, and decided to burry any feelings I had developed for N'Sharp". I said looking him in the eyes. Yet, he still remained quiet and without a change in facial expression.

"It went from finding his gestures amusing, next thing I knew I became comfortable telling him about myself. I sensed a change in me, but it wasn't until you put it in words." I said finally looking up at him. "Did the kid not leave the country as you had claimed?" He finally asked looking me stern in the eyes, almost as if trying to read my thoughts.

" He did... he definitely left that day. The guards that accompanied him confirmed it. But, he reached out to me yesterday..."I said. Lam, who was now sipping his ice coffee. Took a deep breathe, " ... so if I understand you correctly, you are asking my advice on what to do?"-Lam.

I nodded my head, "Yes..." He paused almost as if in deep thought, " first off, don't tell Forth. Unless, you don't want to preserve your relationship. Forth is learning to be a better man for you. But knowing this kid is still in the picture will only brew doubts in his mind.Also, if I was you...I'll get a new number." He said looking at my phone. I get what he is saying. Then he stood up to leave, " ...you shouldn't have let that kid just leave. It didn't send the RIGHT message to him. it will come back to bite you in the ass". Lam

That evening as all the celebrations were going on, my mind couldn't help but wander. Forth and Lam decided to have a talk, so it was just my friends, Park and I. By the end of my conversation earlier on with Forth, I knew I had to come clean to Forth.

Moving forward, I don't want any secrecy between him and I. I rather I'm honest with him, than burying the lies. " Is everything okay with you and Lam?"- Park asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I smiled and said, " you definitely have a hold on him. Was it an ideal apology? No, but I commend him for trying hahaha" I said and we both laughed.

" Lam is used to being handed everything. It makes him feel entitled to things. But I see beyond the facade, he is a good guy at heart. Please forgive him for his rudeness." -Park said with a smile. He is a real gentleman. Lam is lucky to have him in his life.

"Don't sit that close to my boyfriend..." Lam said, followed by Forth. I guess they sorted whatever it is they needed to, because Lam came back with a smile. He whispered something in Park's ear, and next thing they were ready to leave. Well, we can all guess what he said😏

When the night was over, I ended up driving because Forth was inebriated. I took him home and got him in bed. For some reason, I felt the urge to tell him about N'Sharp reaching out. Which I did but He laid there silently without a reaction. So,I presumed he was too drunk to have heard what I said. So I went to cocooned myself in his embrace, and went to sleep.

Then I heard, "... The NEXT time he shows up in front of you. He would leave either handcuffs or by my HANDS"-Forth. I was shocked to hear him speak. So he did hear everything I said. I tilted my head to look at his face, through the darkness. His eyes were still closed , he pulled me closer to his chest and kissed me on the forehead. Then told me to sleep.I knew that moment, that threat was as much for me, as it was for N'Sharp.