♣Chapter Twenty Five

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Without pain, there is no love

TRISA'S POV

Troy's revelation sunk deep into my skin.The following morning I woke up alone. As usual, Troy rose early and rid the room of himself. The only difference was he wouldn't come back to spoil me with breakfast or cuddle me like those days when we didn't have an early start.

I sighed then roll my eyes as I shuffle out of bed and into the bathroom to freshen up. So many months had past and we were nearing the end of the semester. The last set of exams was just on the horizon in a couple of days and I was sure to fail.

I hadn't the time to study or settle my mind on schoolwork as every waking moment my thoughts were bombed with either my family or how I felt betrayed by my father. I couldn't understand how he could live such a lie all my life and even my own mother fabricated my existence.

I felt alone and broken.

After gathering my necessities for an aimless stroll I exited my room and headed toward the lift. As I entered I noticed a couple of girls chatting each other up and cackling loudly. They seemed quite happy to be alive while I, in front was internally begging to climb death's list.

"Oh, I still can't believe he really bought me my graduation dress and shoes from the trendiest designers In Italy, " One girl babbled. The others squealed in excitement as they listened to their friend.

"Girl I'm so happy for you," One girl confessed.
"I mean he's so hot and sweet to you, " Another girl professed dreamily.
"Does he have any brothers Kay? " They all plea hopefully. The corner of my lips turned up at their fervor but slowly dropped as I remembered all the similar moments I shared with Jessica. 

The elevator stopped finally and I sauntered out. I trodded a path toward the back of the bookstore where an oak tree stood proudly and bestowed the sounds of nothingness. My legs climbed shakily up onto a low limb and I positioned myself leaning against the tree trunk in order to stay balanced.

Memories from my childhood suddenly showed up at the forefront of my brain. Zhortlan Jones was my father's boss for years but fired him a few months before he divorced ma. I didn't understand why at the time and even George convinced me that it was cool to have two homes. Jonesy, ma would call him whenever he came to the house and at the time the name only sounded silly. I was too naive to notice he was actually her lover all that while, she deserved an oscar for the act she pulled off.

"I'm never going to be called Trisa Jones, " I told myself. In my heart, he wasn't my father and I could never accept him, a gang leader, as my own father. I stared down at the dead leaves that paraded the ground. I wondered if it hurt when they fell from the tree and if they hated the swift wind that smacked them off the branches or even us when we picked them and tore them up for fun.

After spending hours staring into space the ringing of my phone brought me back to earth. "Anna!"  I chimed into the phone.
"Where are you girl? Come to Maya's dorm," She instructed me sharply then hung the phone up before I could respond. I didn't want her to know I was drowning in pain, hence the fake excitement.

I groaned and hopped off the limb I had found comfort sitting. It was nice to find a place I could shed my walls and breathe without being noticed by anyone and I smiled and waved inwardly at the peacefulness that surrounded the tree promising to visit more often. It was obvious though, that I needed the tree more than the tree needed my company. I was probably a nuisance.

Maya's door flew open just as I was about to knock and revealed her skinny white dress that complimented her dark complexion. The moment her eyes fixated on me she engulfed me in a soul-crushing hug. "Oh Girl!" She squealed as I hugged her slowly then all at once. Maybe it was my dejected face she saw and decided to fix it with a hug or because she had gone MIA for months. I hoped it was the latter. "I heard everything, I'm so sorry I couldn't be there, girl," She whispered.

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