Fighting Love

Chapter Thirty ♣

To beg for forgiveness is an act of utter strength.

TROY'S POV

Saturday was the day I would get to see my Fluff. The day I would get the chance to tell her how sorry I was. She would be sure this time, that all the love inside my heart was for her. I would make sure she knew that I was hers.

That day was finally here. The day began with me getting out of bed and sauntering down the stairs for the last slice of the banana bread. Unfortunately, someone beat me to it, Dayton. "Dude that was the last piece," I whined upon entering the kitchen.

"And now it's gone," Dayton mocked, dusting the bread crumbs from his jeans, "Oops."

"Whatever," I quarreled. We both then erupted into contagious laughter. The scrumptiousness of the pastry got to our heads, and I was sure he woke up early just to get to it first. Soon, the rest of my friends piled into the living room one by one. The fact that they were all here made me feel excited. With mixed feelings, they were eager to see me as my old self again and also eager to prove me wrong about Trisa. I was... Excited... And scared.

I hoped Trisa would fall into my arms the moment she saw me, but who was I kidding? She probably would slap the shit out of my face. I guess that would be a deserving slap.

"Bro, come back to earth," Dayton called, waving his hand across my face. I had zoned out, wondering about how it will go with Trisa. "Don't go crazy over this chick," He continued.

"Dude, leave with your negativity," Marlon rushed shoving Dayton away from me. He knew more than anyone else what I was feeling. "Bro, relax, it won't go as bad as you think," Marlon added. He was the only one who understood how much I loved Trisa. He could see right through me.

"I guess," I mouthed, not believing but just to get them to leave me alone. I knew that she loved me. But love alone is not good enough. You can love someone but never want to be with them, just like you can love them and also hate them.

That was what scared me. I didn't know if she hated me too.

I lingered in the living room with everyone until I was ready to shower. It was a quick one that lasted about five minutes. When I was half ready mom barged into my bedroom. She wore a well-fitting navy blue pants suit. As she entered, I heard the clicking of her heels on the tiles.
"Son, your woman is here," Mom announced.

A smile danced onto my face at her words and I rolled my eyes at her forwardness. "Marlon knows what to do, just let her stay in one of the bedrooms," I instructed.

"Oh, I see," Mom said, making her way back into the hallway. I let out a long breath and finished my dressing. I wore a purple dress shirt with the two first buttons undone. I tucked the said shirt into black pants and checked myself. With all my other accessories on, I left the room. I had arranged for Marlon to Talk Trisa into wearing a dress and meeting me with her at the gazebo in the backyard. He would blindfold her and lead her to me, then leave the two of us. Everyone would watch from the balcony upstairs, but she didn't have to know that.

I awaited their arrival for a few minutes, anxious. I was never someone to baffle over words or fall nervous about the thought of a woman before me, but somehow, Trisa changed a lot about me. I watched as Marlon directed her along the path toward the gazebo.

So beautiful.

Her light skin glowed in the midday sun. She wore a regular pink summer dress but regardless; she looked perfect. She and Marlon entered the gazebo, and he positioned her in front of me. "Good luck," Marlon offered, then walked back toward the house.

"You can take the blindfold off," I whispered. Trisa nodded and loosened the black cloth from around her head. She blinked a few times, then fixed her gaze on me. Only a foot apart, we stood in stillness, unable to react to the moment. I gazed into her eyes and she gazed back into mine. I needed to apologize, but I was speechless. It had been so long since our last everything, or at least it felt that way being away from her. About a minute later, we were hugging the life out of each other. I couldn't tell if it was her that leaped into my arms or if it was me who pulled her in. All I knew was that she was there, and it felt good.

After a long while, we pulled away, and I led her to the wooden chairs where we sat. I held her hands in mine and let out a breath before speaking, "Trisa...Fluff, I have been a fool, an idiot, and an asshole. I am sorry, from the deepest parts of my soul. I know that I was once a player so I don't deserve you, but still, I want you."

The look on her face worried me. It was a blank expression that I couldn't read. Am I too late?

Without having an answer to the question that lingered in my mind, I continued speaking. Teardrops filled my eyes at the thought of losing her. "I am so fucking sorry fluff. I am sorry that I ignored you when you needed me. I'm sorry for making you believe that I didn't want you anymore. I'm sorry for hurting you fluff. Please forgive me," I blinked as the tears finally cascaded down my cheeks.

Stripped.

That's how I felt. Like before her, I had to shed all my layers. She tore down all the walls I built around myself and saw that beneath all my harshness, I had a heart. I wanted her to see me in all my nakedness, even though that meant her having the power to break me.

"Fluff, I love you," I held her hands up to my face and left a soft kiss on the back of each. "I don't need you though because I can live without you," A confused expression made its way onto Trisa's face, and I knew what she was thinking. "But Trisa, I fucking want you. I want you because I don't like what life is like without you. I want you because you make me want to be a better man and get my shit together. I want you because you're exactly what I want my kids to be like. I want you because your presence brings me the happiness you read in fairytales," My words seem to touch something inside her. She sniffles silently.

I study her as she untangled our hands and wiped away her tears. I hoped they were happy tears because what would I do if she walked away?

I stood from my seated position and knelt before her, "Trisa, I love you with everything that I am. Can I please fucking have you back? Can you forgive me and let me try again?"

For a while, it felt like it was just us two in the world. This was until we heard the loud voices of my friends gossiping about us. That didn't matter though, I was too desperate to care what anyone thought. I watched as Trisa opened her mouth twice but closed it when her words didn't come out. I was anxiously waiting for her answer. She was the first and only woman that I ever begged. My heart pounded in my chest as I fabricated my versions of her response in my head.

"Troy," Trisa finally began. She pulled me up and featured for me to take my original seating position. Tears filled her eyes just like mine, and I was drowning inside, waiting for her to say yes.