You're not alone

Edmund's decision

Edmund sat there, staring down at the book on the floor and taking deep breath.
Why was that the only way to save Peter? There had to be another way? But he knew Aslan would've told him if there was.
Swallowing hard and trying his hardest to still his trembling, he told himself that he had to make a decision, and he had to make it fast. He had no idea when Peter would die, and that just made him all the more worried.
It took him a while to come to a decision, and when he did he stood slowly, grabbing the book and quickly hiding it before heading back up to his and Peter's room.
He knew he had to do this, he had to sacrifice himself to save Peter, he'd done it once... so he could do it again.
As he walked, his legs feeling like they were about to buckle under his weight, he silently told himself that he could not, under any circumstances, tell Peter what he was going to do. He wouldn't let him do it for one, and he couldn't tell Susan or Lucy either.
Eventually reaching the room and stepping inside he found Peter almost sat up in bed, staring at him with a confused look on his face. "So?" He asked.
Edmund swallowed hard and walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking a deep breath. "We'll find out soon." He choked. "I've just got a bit of research to do."
He felt terrible lying to Peter like this, but if Peter knew the truth, he didn't even want to think about what he'd do.
Peter nodded slowly. "You need any help?" He asked.
Edmund slowly shook his head. "No I'm fine." He whispered.
Peter frowned at him. "Ed are you alright?" He asked, voice raspy.
Edmund nodded. "I'm fine." He mumbled, before lying beside Peter and resting his head against his chest, one arm wrapping tightly around his waist.
Peter's arm wrapped weakly around Edmund's shoulder as he placed a kiss to the top of his head, flinching slightly as pain shot through his whole body.
"I will fix this." Edmund choked. "I promise."

☆☆☆

"So did Aslan tell you how to fix all of this?" Susan asked as the four sat up in Peter and Edmund's room eating dinner that evening.
Edmund took a deep breath. "Not as such." He choked. "I've got some research to do before I figure it out."
Susan nodded. "Well, if you need a hand let me know."
Edmund stared at her. "I will." He mumbled. "But I think I can do it by myself."
He turned to face his brother, who was just sat in bed staring at his food.
"Pete please eat something." Edmund mumbled.
Peter looked up at him and shook his head. "I can't." He whispered.
Edmund sighed. "You need to eat something." He argued.
"Easy for you to say." Peter mumbled. "You won't throw up."
Edmund stared at him before sighing again. "Fine." He said. "As long as you eat breakfast tomorrow morning."
Peter clearly hesitated but in the end nodded slowly. "Fine." He mumbled.
"Edmund?" Lucy asked after a short while of silence.
"Hmm?" Edmund replied quietly.
"Did - Did Aslan say whether Peter was gonna - gonna die or not?"
Peter, Susan and Lucy all stared at Edmund, looks of worry and hope in all their eyes.
Edmund found himself slowly nodding to Lucy's question, causing Susan to take a deep breath. "And?" She asked hesitantly.
Edmund was silent for a long time before he eventually nodded. "Eventually, yes." He whispered, making eye contact with Peter.
Peter stared at him, unable to hide the worry in his eyes, but he quickly pulled himself together and nodded slowly. "I trust you Ed." He choked. "I know you're gonna fix this."
Edmund nodded back at him. "I will." He murmered. "I promise."
Peter nodded before resting his head back against the pillow, and within fifteen to twenty minutes he was fast asleep.
Susan sighed and took the plate from his hands, placing it on the bedside table before turning back to her siblings. "He's gonna die?" She choked.
Edmund shook his head. "No, because I'm gonna stop that from happening." He said firmly.
"How?" Lucy asked, sounding so worried it broke Edmund's heart.
"I - I don't know yet." Edmund lied quickly, looking down at his half finished, probably cold by now, food.
After a moment Edmund put the plate down before laying beside Peter, resting his head against his shoulder.
Peter's arm wrapped around his shoulders out of instinct, and Edmund couldn't help but smile lightly.
"You know what." Edmund mumbled after ten minutes. "I'm gonna go for a walk down the beach."
Susan nodded. "Okay." She mumbled. "But be back before dark please."
Edmund nodded as he slipped from Peter's arms and headed for the door. "I will." He breathed, before leaving the room.
He walked through the castle, all the way downstairs and outside, walking a good way across the beach before he sat down, taking a deep breath as he stared out across the sea.
He hardly even noticed the tears that made their way slowly down his cheeks as he sat there, but he knew he couldn't go back on his decision.
Peter had done nothing wrong, and certainly didn't deserve to die. In Edmund's eyes, this was all his fault, and he would fix it, even if it cost him his own life.
Pulling his knees up to his chest he bit down hard on his lip to keep back a sob. The thought that he'd never see his family again after this was almost too much to bare, but no matter how hard it was, he still wouldn't let Peter die, and there was no way his sisters were doing it instead of him.
But as Aslans words once again echoed in his head, he relaxed slightly, and for some reason, he felt just the slightest bit better.
Everything's gonna be okay

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