You're not alone

Don't let go

"You're alive." Peter said, sobbing into Edmund's shoulder. "You're alive."
Peter repeated this over and over again under his breath, sinking down to the floor and bringing Edmund with him, pulling him straight into his lap, not caring what Edmund would think.
But Edmund just hugged him back, burying his face against Peter's chest and taking deep breaths to try and stop himself from breaking into sobs.
The two boys sat there in each others arms for almost five minutes, Susan and Lucy stood smiling down at them.
Eventually though Peter pulled away, tears rolling down his cheeks as he placed both hands either side of Edmund's face, brushing away the tears that were on his little brothers cheeks.
"How?" Peter whispered, trembling.
Edmund sniffed and smiled at him. "Aslan brought me back." He answered.
Peter let out a half sob half laugh when Edmund said this, continuing to brush his thumb against Edmund's cheek even though Edmund's tears were no longer falling.
"Why - Why would you do something like that Ed?" Peter sobbed. "Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?"
Edmund sighed. "Because I love you Peter." He replied. "You're my brother and I love you more than anything. And anyway, everything turned out fine."
Peter swallowed hard, shaking his head. "You died." He whispered.
Edmund bit his lip. "But Aslan brought me back." He said. "And I didn't properly die. I didn't actually go to Aslan's country."
Peter shook his head again. "You still died." He whispered. "And I'll never forgive myself for that."
Edmund sighed. "Pete it wasn't your fault." He tried. "It was my decision."
"But you saved me!" Peter choked, another sob escaping him. "You died instead of me!"
"And that was my decision." Edmund said, raising his hand and placing it over Peter's, which was still on his cheek. "You can't blame yourself for my decisions, we've been over this."
He said the last part so firmly that Peter looked down, taking a deep breath.
"Peter I'm alive." Edmund sighed. "Isn't that all that matters right now?"
Peter took a deep breath and looked back up. "Yeah." He choked, before pulling Edmund back into his arms.
This time Susan and Lucy joined them, and they all sat in each others arms for almost ten minutes.
Susan was the first to pull away, keeping her hand firmly but gently on Edmund's shoulder.
Lucy pulled away next, a small smile on her face as she leant against Susan, Susan wrapping her other arm tightly around her shoulders and pulling her close.
But when Peter went to pull away, Edmund tightened his grip. "Please don't let go." He whispered, so quietly Peter almost didn't hear him, but he did, and it caused him to pull Edmund closer and bury his face in his hair. "I'm never letting you go again." He choked. "Ever."
Edmund swallowed hard. "I love you Peter." He murmered.
Peter smiled, tears rolling steadily down his cheeks. "I love you too Eddy." He whispered. "So, so much."
They sat there for a little while longer before Peter spoke again. "What do you say we go home?" He murmered in Edmund's ear.
Edmund took a deep breath and smiled against Peter's shoulder. "I'd like that." He replied, rather reluctantly pulling away.
Peter stared at him for a while and nodded slowly. "Come on then." He breathed after a moment, standing first before pulling Edmund to his feet.
"We'll go home, and then we'll talk." Peter said somewhat firmly.
Edmund swallowed hard. "Haven't we already talked?" He said with a nervous laugh.
Peter raised an eyebrow. "Ed." He said firmly.
Edmund sighed but nodded his head. "Yeah, we'll talk when we get back."
Peter nodded before wrapping his arms around Edmund's shoulders. "The horses are a couple minutes that way." He said. "You can ride with me."
Edmund nodded and looked down when he felt someone rest their head against his arm.
He smiled at Lucy, who smiled back up at him as they began walking, Susan following behind and keeping and comforting hand on Peter's shoulder.
They soon reached the horses and Peter climbed on first, pulling Edmund up to sit in front of him.
Susan and Lucy climbed onto their own horses before they all continued home.
"Peter?" Edmund asked after a moment, feeling Peter's arms wrap around his waist.
"Hmm." Peter replied.
"Have - Have you slept at all?" Edmund asked hesitantly.
"Why?" Peter asked, though he sounded slightly nervous.
"It's just," Edmund paused. "You look exhausted."
Peter swallowed hard. "We'll talk when we get home." He whispered, resting his cheek on the top of Edmund's head.
Edmund sighed but didn't argue, only leaning back against Peter for the remainder of the journey.
Soon Cair came into view and Edmund immediately told them to stop.
"What's wrong?" Peter asked quickly.
Edmund took a deep breath. "I can't be seen." He said.
"What?" Lucy questioned.
"I can't be seen." Edmund repeated. "Everyone thinks I'm dead! And Aslan said that Peter has to tell everyone, when the time's right."
"Why me?" Peter asked.
Edmund shrugged. "You're the High King." He said.
Peter nodded slowly. "Tomorrow morning." He decided. "I'll tell everyone then. But until then, Edmund you are not to leave your room."
Edmund nodded. "I won't." He agreed. "Anyway, I'm likely to give someone a heart attack if they bump into me wondering the corridors."
Lucy giggled at this, Susan smiling at him. Even Peter smiled, and Susan had never been so relieved to see him smiling again.
"Question is." Lucy said. "How do we get you up to your room without anyone seeing?"
Everyone was silent, before Edmund took a deep breath. "You aren't gonna like this Pete." He muttered.
Peter took a deep breath. "What are you thinking?" He asked.
Edmund hesitated. "I play dead and you carry me up to our room?" He suggested.
Peter swallowed hard. "Ed." He mumbled.
"If you've got a better idea feel free to share it." Edmund sighed. "But I was told by Aslan not to be seen - alive - until you break the news. And I will not go against what Aslan said."
Peter clearly hesitated but in the end nodded, placing a kiss to the top of Edmund's head. "Alright."

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