The Coward Meets Mr. Perfect (Meeting the Misters Book 1)

(35) The Loneliness Inside of Me

^^^Thank you Nika2011 for the awesome book cover!^^^

Chapter's dedicated to you, luv! <3 

It's one o'clock here, but I'll update now because tomorrow's Thanksgiving, an dI don't know when I'll have the time tomorrow. X) Better Early than late, right?

Chapter 35

"Desiree, Mr. H is ... what the hell is this!?" Caleb's outraged green eyes were fixed on my disastrous locker. "Who did this!?" He asked.

"I-I don't ... know." I felt tears come to my eyes. My clarinet. It was my mom's. To see it mistreated so horribly, I felt so sad. I picked it up and drew away my hand. A piece of chewing gum strung between my fingers and the clarinet. How cruel.

It was too much and I ran out the classroom, disregarding Caleb as he called out to me. One of the last things of my mom ... sat in my sabotaged locker, mistreated and abused.

I ran to the most deserted place I could find. A corner behind the bleachers on the football field. Before I fell in love with Robin, Sharon would bring me over here during lunch time. But then she became so busy with Robin, so she didn't have much time.  Not many people came over here ... not many people even knew about this place.

As I sat huddled in my little hideout, I found my tears falling faster and faster without restraint. And when they started, I found myself not only thinking about the horror I faced when I stood in front of my locker, but I cried and felt sorry for myself. I felt horrible. My best friend was going out with my crush, and she knew it, so I pretended to like another guy, and Robin didn't care one bit. And not to mention all the lying I did the past couple of days.

Why did my life have to suck so much! I just wanted to live a quiet, normal life. But was there even such a thing?

This time, of all times, I wished that I had a strong set of arms to circle my fragile-feeling body. I imagined Robin circling his bulky arms around me, letting me cry on his shoulder, but surprisingly, it was too hard to imagine.

At that moment, I felt so lonely, so ... unattached to everything around me. I wondered how it would be if I just disappeared. Sharon would be able to date Robin without having a shadow over her. Dad ...  wouldn't have had to go through so much hard work to support us. He would only have to worry about one mouth to feed instead of two ... Anira and Daniel, I'm sure would be able to get together. Anira wouldn't have to worry about him having a girlfriend, and Daniel wouldn't have to worry about a hindrance in pursuing her.

Everything would probably be better without -

"Are you just going to pity yourself and cry through the whole day?" With my tear-stained face, I looked up at the familiar face in surprise.

Then my face crumpled and I launched myself at the broad chest in front of me.

For a minute, the body against me was tensed, and then slowly, those long arms surrounded me.

Within the safety of his arms, I cried, and cried, until I couldn't anymore. Every once in awhile, I would feel a small pat on my back, or a small rub, but wisely, he stayed quiet.

When my crying reduced to sniffles, and I was just resting against him wearily, I asked, "How did you find me?"

Daniel started to speak, but when his voice sounded gravelly from disuse, he cleared and started again, "Caleb found me, but Sharon told me where you might be. I'm surprised she's not here-"

"Daniel? Was she here after all?"

"I spoke too soon," Daniel said blandly.

I sat up and looked at Sharon who stared at the two of us in surprise. Then, as if released from a trance, she rushed over and wrapped her arms around me, overlooking Daniel altogether. "Are you okay? I was so surprised when I saw what happened to your locker, and when Caleb told me what happened to you, I was so worried." She stroked my face, wiping away my tears.

I sat up and wiped my face as I sniffed. "I'm fine."

"Then we should hurry to class. I've already talked to Mr. H, so everything should be fine." I switched my gaze from Sharon to Daniel. He wasn't looking at me, but he seemed to be looking at something afar off. His hands were crossed in front of him and he had an austere expression on his face.

I moved my gaze off of him and looked instead at my hands in front of me before I looked up at Sharon and nodded a little. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and led me away.

I glanced back at him one last time before Sharon led me around the corner and he disappeared from my view.

He was still staring at something in the distance, but his hands were now fisted. I always seemed to cause him more trouble. Maybe it was time we brought this whole pretense to a stop once and for all.

Even if I was in a situation, it didn't give me the right to drag others through it too.