bucky barnes imagines

liv. HURTING

A/N — This chapter is kinda based on how I'm feeling at the moment. I'm sorry for the slow updates and possibly bad writing, I really don't feel that great.

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You sat on the side of your bed, staring blankly at the wall. It was late afternoon and you hadn't left your room yet – not because you'd woken up late, but because you couldn't bring yourself to get up. You felt mentally tired, almost numb.

The feeling wasn't new to you, but you still hated it. Being stuck inside was clearly taking a toll on your mental health and you weren't sure how to fix it.

A knock on your bedroom door startled you, jolting you out of your dazed state. Nervously, you ran your fingers through your unbrushed hair in an attempt to tidy it slightly, before quietly calling for the visitor to enter.

You tried to muster a smile when you saw your boyfriend, Bucky, standing in the doorway. However, your eyes gave you away; straight away, he noticed that their usual twinkle was missing.

Sighing, Bucky closed the door behind him and approached you, wrapping his right arm firmly around your waist as he sat down next to you.

"Sweetheart," he began, speaking softly, "what's going on? I haven't seen you for ages. I miss you."

It was true. You'd been avoiding him, not wanting to drag his mood down by being around him. But, if you told him that now, he would likely be upset anyway.

"I know, I'm sorry. I've just been... busy," you lied unconvincingly.

"Busy doing what?" he scoffed, frowning.

You didn't have a response. Suddenly, tears were rolling down your cheeks as you forlornly stared up at Bucky, silently praying that he wasn't angry.

Luckily, he wasn't; his frown quickly disappeared as he pulled you towards him, allowing you to cry into his chest. He didn't ask you any questions, or pressure you to talk to him. He just rocked you back and forth, telling you over and over that things would be okay.

Eventually, your sobs quietened and your tears dried up. Inhaling shakily, you tilted your head upwards and made eye contact with Bucky, who reached forward to gently tuck your hair behind your ear.

"I'm sorry," you choked out, knowing that he deserved an explanation. "It just happened so fast, I started feeling like this again and I didn't know what to do and it's like I have no energy and you... you looked so happy, I couldn't ruin that for you—"

"Hey, hey," Bucky interrupted, gripping your wrist to calm you down as your breathing began to quicken. "Take a deep breath, alright? Take your time."

"I'm scared, Bucky," you whimpered, not knowing what else you should say.

And he knew what you meant. If anybody knew what it was like to be terrified of their own mind, it was him.

"Listen to me, Y/N..." he murmured, placing a hand on your knee and rubbing slow circles over your skin using his thumb. "I want you to know that I'm here for you. You don't have to go through this alone, and I would never want you to isolate yourself for my sake, okay?"

You thought for a second before nodding uncertainly. Suddenly exhausted, you climbed into Bucky's lap and wrapped your legs around his waist, once again burying your face in the crook of his neck.

In a matter of seconds, you were falling asleep. Slowly, Bucky laid back in your bed and pulled the covers over the two of you. Before you drifted off, you felt him place a soft kiss to your forehead.

"You'll be okay, doll."