Care || n.jm

🧸thirty🧸

Today was the fifth time Haneul had stepped in the ice rink. The kids were busy playing around in the bleachers with Taeyong, Johnny, Ten, and Yukhei.

"You can do it. You're nearly there." Jaemin cheered. He held her hand tightly in hopes of comforting her.

For the first time in all her visits, she was about to clear one whole lap around the ice. It wasn't getting easier for her but still there was progress.

"Your legs are shaking too much. I think we need to stop here." Jaemin pointed out, getting ready to pull her back in.

"I can keep going." Haneul argued. She wanted to do it. She wanted to reach the first step. "Let go."

"But—"

"Please let go."

Jaemin pursed his lips into a straight line, deciding not to say more. He reluctantly let go of her hand and gave her some space.

Haneul gripped onto the railing, forcing herself to keep going. Her legs trembled but she tried her best to straighten herself. Her hands were slipping from the railing from how sweaty they were.

And the closer she got, the louder the internal conflict in her was.

"Do you really think you can be normal?"
"Disgusting."
"Pitiful."
"You can't skate."
"You lost your chance to make the national team."
"Do you want to be humiliated again?"
"He'll think you're pathetic."

"Nana isn't like that." Haneul grunted. "Nana won't judge me like that."

"He will leave you."
"He was forced to be with you."
"Does he really care?"
"Then why are you scared of him?"

Her knee buckled, making her lose her balance. She fell onto the ice with a loud thud, her mouth automatically releasing a cry of pain. Everyone on the bleachers froze as her name echoed in the empty rink.

"Haneul!"

"They're looking at you."

"Don't look please." Haneul begged, tears pricking the corner of her eyes. She curled up into a ball as she pulled at her hair. Memories of her accident replayed in her head over and over.

"You can never come back."

Her chest felt like it was closing in, crushing her and squeezing the air out of her lungs. Her breaths became more shallow as her nails dug into her skin.

"You should have just stayed dead."

"STOP!"

She felt the cold light that shone on her disappear. Instead, she felt warm in the darkness that engulfed her. The sweet and floral scent of lavender entered her system and she knew who it was.

"Princess." Jaemin cooed, voice soft. He had used his coat to shield her from being seen. "No one is looking at you. You're safe here."

"He's lying."
"He's going to laugh."
"He doesn't care."

"Where does it hurt, Princess?" Jaemin asked.

"Go away." She cried. "Leave me alone."

"Watch him leave you like everyone else."

"I won't." Jaemin firmly said. He took his coat off and wrapped it around her. "I'm not leaving you here or anywhere. I'm not like them."

"Why? Why won't you go?"

"Because I care, Lee Haneul. I care about you and I'm willing to risk everything for you."

"Go Hannie!" Mark shouted as loud as he can. He looked over to his brothers. "Come on let's do it like we practiced."