𝒎𝒂𝒇𝒊𝒂

𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒆: 𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒍 𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒚 ♥

Rachel's POV
a month later (october)

⚠️ (ATTENTION/WARNING: TALK OF GROOMING, RAPE, AND SELF-HARM! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK) ⚠️

It's been a month since Brandon confronted me in the parking lot at Publix. I still thank God Maverick was there because lord knows what would've happened. I still haven't told Toby yet and lying to her is slowly starting to eat away at me. I hate lying in general let alone to Toby.

Brandon and I used to "date" when I was a freshman and he was a senior. I should've known not to mess with him but I had just gotten to high school. Everything was so much different and even though he was older than me he was cute and really sweet so I gave in.

I didn't know he was grooming me. It took me years to realize what he was doing. Friends didn't make you touch their genitals to show how much you cared for them. It had gotten to the point where he would force himself on me and he didn't care if I was crying or screaming or kicking for that matter. He forced me to keep everything a secret and I hated it. I was tired of being used by him so I eventually told my dads.

My dads called the police and had him arrested but because he was white and his dad was the sheriff of our county, he was acquitted. We put a restraining order on him and moved to Chicago within days.

I went into a depression a few months after we moved. I knew I shouldn't've missed him but I did. Therapy helped me analyze and sort through my thoughts and feelings. I finally realized that Brandon was a predator and he never loved me--he loved what I could do for him. I finally realized that everything that happened wasn't my fault and that everything I went through was not right or normal.

I thought I'd never see him again but he somehow found me. I told my dads what had happened and he was arrested again but he posted bail. I lived in constant fear. Everywhere I went from then on I feared he'd show up and try to kill me. I was always carrying pepper spray, a taser, and a knife with me.I felt like my head was underwater and no matter how much I scream will change and nothing will happen.

That was before I met Toby. Toby was a breath of fresh air. The moment I laid eyes to her I knew she was something special. I never questioned my sexuality before but after I met Toby let's just say I was confused. I came to find out that I was actually bisexual with Toby's help. Toby eagerly helped with my experimenting. I knew not every person liked being with someone who's bi-curious but Toby didn't mind.

That was the difference between Toby and Brandon. Toby was considerate, funny, beautiful, attentive, and an all around badass--Brandon was none of those things. She made me feel validated and loved and cherished and beautiful and worthy of being loved. That's how I knew what I had with Toby was real. She made me feel loved. She made me want to love myself.

I was completely and utterly in love with Toby. She was my first real everything. The thought of her made my heart swell with warmth. When she met my parents, they said that I had fond a keeper. "I hope so," I thought.

I really wanted to believe me and Toby were forever but I was scared. I was scared that she'd leave me once I told her about my past. So many "what if's" passed through my mind I always physced myself out of saying anything. That's why I hadn't told her yet.

The only other person that knew was Maverick. When I first told Maverick my story he acted strange. He asked my for Brandon's full name and told me he'd always protect me before he got off the phone with me. I dont't know what he did but by the next day I had stopped getting death threats from him. When I asked him about it he just said Brandon and him had a talk. Whatever Mavrick aid worked because I haven't heard from him since then.