{5SOS One-Shots}

5 times michael made the "that's what she said" joke + the 1 time Calum did

I wouldn't wanna bother anyone but can we get 10k this week? That would amaze the fuck out of me, I would die- I mean you guys dont have to but It'd be awfully nice 👉👈

My head hurt yesterday 🥺🥺 but I had to update ♡ and Wattpad was being dumb af and not saving the chap so I almost lost all of this so be happy with it lol

Michael just really likes to bother his boyfriend with this one joke..

or

5 times michael made the "that's what she said" joke + the 1 time Calum said it back (and accidentally outed them both by doing so) - Malum

lol I couldn't fit it all in the chap title 😔😔

Inspired by the pic in the media :)

enjoy guys xx this isnt my best work but hey its something

oh uhh ur probably gonna need holy water for this sorry- dont read this if ur innocent (unlike me) 💕

********

1.

"Ashton, your fingers are so long. I don't even understand," Calum mumbles to the older drummer, who just chuckles and smiles.

"I don't know either," Ashton says, shrugging.

"Hey, come here!" Luke calls from his dressing room.

Michael chuckles quietly before making the remark,

"That's what she said!"

2.

"Come on, put it in," Ashton says, gesturing to the hotel room. "I'm about ready for a nap."

"Cal, what's happening?" Luke asks after a few moments of frustrated groans.

"I hate keys. How come it's not fitting?!" Calum exclaims. He then huffs, still trying to jam the key in the lock.

"That's what she said," Michael says, leaning against the wall, watching his other 3 bandmates struggle with the lock.

A chorus of groans are heard, and the guitarist just laughs.

3.

"Can you come help me, please?" Ashton yells from the kitchen.

The other 3 boys trudge their way there, where the oldest band member is waiting.

"There's a fork in the dishwasher. It's in between the top rack and the side."

Luke gets down on his knees to look for it. He finds the piece of silverware and tugs at it, before declaring, "It's stuck."

"Don-" Calum tries to say, but it's too late.

"That's what she said!"

4. (This is a cute one 🥺💕)

"Ah, shit!" Michael hisses, holding his foot after running into the corner of the wall.

"Damn, are you okay, babe?" Calum asks, even though the blonde is always worked up over a stubbed toe. Hell, he gets worked up over a piece of pizza. (lol a reference to that wacky one shot I did called pizza.. I love that one it's one of my favorites. Shh)

"I could give you a bandaid. Or I could kiss it better," the maori suggests.

Michael shyly smiles. "Both?"

"Of course, come here, sit on the bed," Calum pats the spot next to him, and gets up to grab a bandaid from the medicine cabinet.

Leaning down, he presses a light kiss to his boyfriend's big toe, and then tries to apply the bandaid. (Haha bandaid was the 666th word)

"Boy, this is hard.."

Calum doesn't even try to stop him this time,

"That's what she said."

5.

"Be careful with it, now. We didn't buy you a huge, expensive birthday present for nothing," Ashton warns, huddled around Calum with the other two, early on January 25th.

There was freshly fallen snow outside,  and Calum was surrounded by his best friends & boyfriend. He couldn't be happier.

As he slowly unwraps the box, Luke speaks up, "Take it out slowly."

Calum gasps at a new bass guitar when Michael says it,

"That's what she said!"

+1  hehe

"Yeah, so there was this one time we went out on a lake somewhere, maybe in Bali.. and they gave us these life jackets.." Michael tells the story to the interviewer, making hand gestures as he goes, "and I put it on- dude, it was so tight! I-"

"That's what he said," Calum blurts out, and the other 4 in the room immediately look to him.

"What? Im just stating the truth!"

a week later

"Well, now you did it," Luke mumbles, shoving news articles over to the maori.

Malum is real?!

Calum Hood is a whole MOOD!

No homo, boys, no homo

Calum Hood and Michael Clifford are dating?!

The ICONIC comeback line from Calum Hood of 5sauce!

"Okay, I don't want to read any of these," Calum says, pushing them away. "I said what I said. So there."

He crosses his arms, and straightens up his posture, refusing to look Luke in the eye.

"Fine, fine." the lead singer brushes it off. He's quiet for a moment, and then, "It was iconic, though.."

"Wasn't it?!" Michael exclaims.

********

HAHA idk what this is

but I like the ending, eh?

let me publish this before Wattpad breaks again 💀💀

♡10k 10k 10k plzzzz 10k♡
~Aubree/Potatoes/Skittles