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I wake up, feeling a soreness I've never felt in my life before.. he really messed me up last night but it was sooo worth it. I turn over, seeing that the bed is empty. Is he already up? Must be.
Sitting up slowly, I grab the light blue hoodie that he always wears, slipping it over my naked frame. I walk into my room, grabbing a pair of shorts to put on before headed to the living room to try and find Tom.
The sound of the radio plays lightly in the background as I see Tom in the kitchen, shitless, cooking something. He lightly bops his head to the music, giving a little shimmy here and there.
"Nice dance moves." I say, making him jump.
"Jesus Christ Savannah don't sneak up on me like that!" He exclaims.
"I didn't sneak up you just didn't hear me." I correct him.
"How are you walking?" He asks, almost disappointed.
"Don't let it bruise your ego too much, i'm definitely struggling." I laugh, taking a seat at the kitchen island.
"I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed." He frowns.
Breakfast in bed? That's not what this is.. this is a have rough sex, and go on with your life thing. Since when did this turn into a breakfast in bed thing?
"Is that my hoodie?" He asks.
Oh no.. I'm doing it too! This is not a steal his hoodie thing!
"Oh yeah.. I think it is. I will go change-"
"You don't need to change." He shakes his head. "You can wear my hoodies if you want."
Here we are, having stumbled into uncharted territory. Both of us are suddenly on edge, and don't know what to say.
"I should uh.. I should go get ready for class." I say.
"Savannah you don't have class for three hours. Eat breakfast with me." He says.
And so we eat breakfast, sitting on the couch together with the heater on full blast and the tv playing quietly in the background. Tom made really good food, which I'm sure all the credit goes to Sam for teaching him. I laugh at his silly little comments, and come to realize how calm I feel right now. Just complete and utter peace. I haven't felt that since I started school.
Our plates get set aside, and our conversation flows. I don't think we've ever just sat and talked before.. like ever. Yeah we talk.. but we've never communicated the way we are right now. There's something that's changed between us.
"Tom.." I start, looking into his brown eyes. "We can't.. you know we can't."
His face noticeably drops, a small sigh escaping his lips.
"Yeah I know." He says.
It's not even just the situation we're in, him being my brothers best friend, but he's Tom. He's never been in a relationship in his life and I've had my heart broken far too many times. I can't handle another heart break, especially not from a guy who will be in my life forever.
"I don't want it to ruin what we have going though.." he says.
"I don't either." I say. "Which is why we can't do these breakfasts, or borrow hoodies."
"Yeah.. you're right."
______
I sit in class with Hannah, and she keeps giving me weird looks as I twirl my pen in between my fingers. I've been spacing out so much I've probably missed most if not all of what my professor is talking about.
"What?" I whisper.
"What's wrong with you?" She asks.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean normally you're paying attention and taking notes. What's going on?" She says.
How do I tell her that I'm sorta kinda getting feelings for the guy I'm fucking that is also my brothers best friend and also the guy I hated most of my life. It's complicated.
"I'll explain after class." I say.
Class passes by, paid little attention by me. Hannah pulls me out to her car, insisting we go get ice cream cones and have a girl chat. I definitely want this girl to be my sister in law some day, but it's maybe a bit early to be saying that. I've been so caught up in my own drama that I haven't even asked Haz much about her.. I haven't been a good sister. I need to remember to talk to him later because he obviously really does like her.
"Spill." She says as we get our ice cream, walking back out to eat it in her car since it's cold out.
"Really think you're ready for my drama spill?" I ask.
"Duh, we have ice cream for a reason." She says and I laugh.
"Okay.. here we go." I say.
I tell her all about it in detail from the very beginning. How I first hooked up with Tom, then it becoming a regular thing. Then explaining all the little moments that made it more than just sex. The talks, the jealousy, all the little things that lead us to where we are now. Then I tell her about my first love, Henry. How he broke my heart into a million pieces, and how I can never go through something like that again. I fell in love way too hard, way too quickly, and that was a mistake I will never make again.
"Tom will always be Tom. People don't change.. and he's just not relationship material." I say.
"I don't agree with you." She shakes her head. "I think people can change for the right person."
"But what if I'm not enough to change him?" I ask.
"Wouldn't you rather try, than to never find out?" She says.
Our conversation gets interrupted by my phone getting a notification. I grab it, my breath coming to a halt as I read the text.
Henry: Sav I know you're seeing my texts. I'm moving back to London soon.. and I'd really like the chance to apologize for my behavior. Please answer me.
I lock my phone quickly. Just pretend you don't even see it Savannah.

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