Every Line Crossed

ELC40

ELC40

Sinjin Xylus Andrada has always been one of my biggest questions since the start. At first, I was curious of who is he, of what kind of person he was, of what would he do if I do this and that...then, I started asking why am I so drawn to him? Why do I keep adoring everything he does even if it would make anyone frown?

From the simplest questions I had, it went deeper and wider. He's very hard to define. Everything felt hard to put on a single bubble of thought. Yet I know that even if I would never understand him wholly, I wanted him. I craved to love him.

It was my choice and I don't wanna blame him if he doesn't feel the same. It was supposed to be okay. I thought it would be the greatest conflict that we may face aside from my real identity. But we came in the way where love doesn't only challenged us. Trust overtook all and we collapsed.

And then, I started asking a lot of questions once again. I never had a chance to have an answer to those for a long time. It made him farther from me and as he goes that way, I hated him. Bigger.

Much bigger than the love I have for him.

That hate and unanswered questions made my mind closed from everything. It ruined my beliefs. I didn't feel guilty of letting my trust disappear because, in the first place, his trust didn't even exist. So when he came back, I know that even if my heart weeps with love, I don't wanna try again.

Now, my head is once again, lost because of too many questions. My heart is reigning as a result of its confusions.

I'm still not over with the pain I had from the past. But after what happened to Aza... nearly losing him, I can't imagine what would happen in the future, or tomorrow. If it would make me happy or will it give me pain.

The only thing that gives me a choice is the present. I wanna make the most of it.

In the end, no matter how big my hate can get, my love still overpowers it.

That turned me into asking. Did I really step out of the lines that were drawn from him to me? Or I just pretended that I do because the real thing is I was just idle in my position, waiting for him to make me move?

"Six!" I shouted.

Everyone's eyes are looking at me but I don't feel embarrassed by the attention that I was getting. I have no time to!

"Ma'am, bawal po tumakbo at sumigaw sa－"

Hindi ko pinansin ang sinasabi ng staff.

"Six!"

"Ma'am!"

I can see Six's back continuously walking away from me. He was already tiny in my eyes because of our distance. I tried my best to run faster.

"Go, Ate!"

My eyes went to a kid, maybe 7 or above years old, cheering for me. I smiled at the cute kid and give him a 'fighting' sign using my fist before I run faster to get into the hospital's lobby.

"Six!"

Shit! It was noisier in there than the hallways. My forehead creased in irritation. I saw that's he's already close to reaching the entrance of the hospital. If only I could remove my heels and throw it to him like in movies! But I can't because I'm not sure if I can throw in a perfect angle! And I don't wanna run barefooted! Like yuck?

"Sinjin Xylus! Are you freaking deaf?!" I screamed.

The noise in the lobby silenced down and all of their eyes turned towards my direction. Six finally stopped walking and turned. His forehead was creased and his face screamed confusion. I stopped running while catching my breath.