The Boy Who Had a Choice (D.M)

Part 24

Luna didn't come back after Christmas. Neither did a lot of other students. There was a strange atmosphere in the room of requirement that evening as the reality of the situation hit us all. It didn't help that I was already in a foul mood from my tough session with McGonagall. I didn't have it in me to be positive and encouraging to these students but somehow, with Rory's help, I managed it. I could feel my heaviness setting in again, crushing my chest. I really didn't how much more of this I could take.

I groaned in frustration as I caught my tights on the door, pulling a giant hole in them as I stormed into Draco's room. "Fuck sake, are you kidding me!"

Draco looked up from where he was lied on his bed reading a book and frowned at me. "What?"

"I've just put a fucking hole in my last pair of tights," I whined. He frowned again and went back to his book, clearly oblivious to the breakdown I was nearing. I walked over to where he was lied and threw my books down on the floor next to the bed, sitting myself down on the edge. I felt Draco come up behind me and wrap his arms around my neck, pulling me down backwards so I was lied down with him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his hands trailing across my stomach. I looked sideways at him, shaking my head. My bottom lip trembled as I started crying. I buried my face into his chest, and he held my, a comforting hand rubbing up and down my back. "Why are you crying?" he asked, I could hear a chuckle in his breath, and I realised that I must look crazy to be having a breakdown over getting a hole in my tights.

"I don't know" I replied through my sobs. I sat up and wiped my eyes with my sleeve, Draco sitting up next to me. "I just had a bad day; McGonagall is right on my arse at the minute and I'm starting to think I might not be half as good as I think I am." I took a shaky breath before continuing. "So many students didn't come back and I'm starting to think that maybe that's the smart thing to do because I am so fucking scared Draco, I don't think I could kill someone! And you, what are you going to do when it comes to it? We will literally be fighting against your parents and your family? I think we're pretty fucking stupid for getting involved in this" I sighed in defeat, not feeling any better for getting it all off my chest.

Draco frowned. "Honestly Olivia, I don't have a clue what's going to happen, but I just keep telling myself that as long as I'm with you nothing else will matter and it will just fall into place"

"That's a piss poor response Draco, I'm not looking for you to just be nice to me. This is real fucking life." I glared at him; he was not helping.

"I'm scared too Liv, I'm absolutely terrified. I don't know what we're supposed to do. You need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself, you are amazing and smart. No one is expecting you to kill anyone, you just need to make sure you know how to defend yourself in case something does happen" He swallowed hard. "Tell me about your lessons with McGonagall."

"She's trying to teach me Occlumency and Legilimency but it's just impossible" I sighed. "And she keeps trying to persuade me to do the Animagus Spell, but it's so complicated I just don't see the point to be honest." I sniffled, my breathing returning to normal now I had finally stopped crying.

"The reason Occlumency probably seems impossible to you, is because you can't switch that big brain of yours off. I think even when you're asleep you are thinking about 1000 things." I snorted as he laughed at me. "As for the animagus spell, I think you could do it, easy, but it's up to you whether you do it or not. Could be a pretty useful thing to have in the future."

"I suppose, imagine though after going through all of that spell and I end up being like a beetle or something real shitty." He grinned at me.

"Yeah, although I feel like you'd definitely be something cool, like a snake" he winked, "or a wolf maybe."

"That would be pretty cool." I smiled to myself, maybe I would have a go at the spell. "Please will you help me figure out how to do this Occlumency, and don't say you can't do it because we both know you're the smart one out of the two of us and you definitely do know how to do it"

"Sure," he said smirking at me. "Only because I love you," he said kissing the side of my head.

He spent the rest of the night trying to teach me how to suppress my emotions and empty my mind. He explained it to me as giving my mind a 'veil', giving it a false layer to deceive the Legilimens into seeing a different perspective to what is actually there.

"Okay, okay I think I've got it" I said, wiping the sweat from my brow.

"Here, let me try look into your mind, I promise not to go snooping through you dirty thoughts of me," he chuckled, holding his hands up innocently as I swatted his arm. "I just want you to practice putting up a veil, so I see nothing, okay? And then once you've got that we can work on creating false memories and thoughts to mask the original ones with."

"Okay," I nodded, chewing on the inside of my cheek. A horrible new habit I'd somehow developed form all the stress of this year. I concentrated on making my mind empty. I pushed away all of my thoughts and emotions until I was completely numb. It was a weird feeling having Draco in my mind, it was like a shadow falling across my thoughts and memories. It sent a shiver down my spine.

"Good girl," he drawled out, my stomach doing butterflies at the words. "Very impressive." My cheeks flushed at compliment as I let all my emotions come back again.

"Thank you," I squealed excitedly, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him. My hands slipped under his top as he pulled me onto his lap, but we were stopped by a knock at the door.

"Oi Liv, I know you're in there. Put some clothes on, I need you." Lola hissed through the door.

I sighed, running my hand over my face. "Sorry," I grumbled, pouting at him. I gave him one last kiss before climbing off him. "Later," I said with a wink before heading out the room. He just stuck two fingers up at the door and tried to adjust his trousers.