TWENTY-NINE: Family

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(30th June, 2011)

"Could I have some extra mashed potatoes today Carol?" I question the older woman, Carol smiled at me giving me an extra two scoops of potatoes. I joined the group table, digging straight into my dinner, Naomi gets away from Beth and rushes over to my side. I stand her up on bench next to me, she pulled me into a tight hug, I held her with matched intensity, "I luv you Nyx." Naomi whispers kissing my forehead, "I love you two Naomi." I mumble back to her, giving her one more squeeze before letting her go.

Naomi sits down onto my lap, Beth slides over Naomi's dinner, and we both tuck back into our food. Naomi gave me some comfort, she was the cutest distraction from the ache I feel. I don't smile, I don't put on a brave face, that was Gran's advice, let those I love see how I feel, so they can help me heal. "I know after everything today, you probably don't want to celebrate your birthday but-" Noel began after dinner, but I interrupt, "I think it's just the thing I need, a distraction." Noel excitedly stood up and ran to the cell block, he was followed by Glenn, Daryl, Carl and Maggie.

I gave Naomi a kiss on the forehead before Beth picked her up and followed the others. I pick up all the dirty dishes, bringing them over to Karen and Charlotte who were on dishes duty. "Happy Birthday Nyx!" Charlotte chimed excitedly, I played a smile towards her, "thanks Char." Charlotte nodded allowing me to go back to the others and once I was out of her line of sight, my smile disappeared. I took a seat next to Daryl who returned before anyone else, "thank you for saving me today." I whisper to him, I knew my words stunned him, "I was too late to save you." Daryl mumbles.

I force him to look into my eyes, "thank you for saving me today from a lifetime of suffering." Daryl had a tiny smile playing on his lips, I felt him relax more once I hugged him, my grip was thankful with a hint of desperation. I rested my head on Daryl's shoulder as he kept a protective arm wrapped around me, truth is Daryl felt like the father I wished for the last 15 years. The rest of our group looked at me with calm smiles as if they knew what I was thinking.

"Okay, first is the cake!" Noel exclaimed, my eyebrows furrowed, "there's cake?" I look around at the group that looked just as confused as I did. "Okay, it's a mars bar but it represents a cake." Noel explains as he pulls out the bar causing everyone to chuckle whilst he was sticking a birthday candle in it, and Maggie lit the candle. "Happy Birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday dear Nyx, Happy birthday to you..." The group sang causing the rest of the residents to join in, all of them were pitchy but after today seeing all the people around me with smiles as my the candle flame swayed.

A genuine smile etched on my face as tears welled in my eyes, everyone was waiting for me to blow out my candle, I closed my eyes pulled in a shaky breath as I dreamt up my wish, 'I wish I never lose this family' I blew out the candle, I felt a tear drop as everyone clapped. I wiped my right cheek discarding the tear as I flickered open my eyes. I grabbed a knife a cut it into 12 pieces and passed it amongst my group as the others returned to their seat. "To Nyx." Rick held up his piece of chocolate, "Nyx" everyone said and we cheers'd our chocolate, I drop the chocolate in my mouth.

"Alright, open my present first." Daryl spoke up, sounding almost childlike, he hands me a gift that is obviously a guitar, "you said you always wanted to learn, and I was talking to George and he said he would teach you." Daryl explains as I unzip the guitar case revealing a black Yamaha F335 acoustic guitar. "Woah, it's beautiful, thank you." I give Daryl a quick smile as I examine the guitar. "Okay dad's next!" Maggie spoke up handing me a bag from Hershel, I pull a box out of the bag, the box advertised a galaxy lamp, I opened it to see the lamp as well as like 100 batteries.

"Thank you, Hershel." I gently place the projector back in it's box. Carl went next passing me the bag, there was a little card that just said 'from the Grimes and Michonne', I pulled a pile of comics out of the bag, all of them were WonderWoman related. My jaw dropped slightly, rushing over to the Grimes men and giving them each a small hug and thanks, "it was all Carl's idea." Rick informed me, I gave Carl a quick kiss on the cheek, before hugging Michonne and returning to my seat as the group laughed.

"This one is from me and Maggie." Glenn spoke up passing me a bag, I pulled out a series of books by Suzanne Collins, "oh I always wanted these books, but mom wouldn't let me get them." I admit skimming my fingers over the bindings, I then pulled out what was left in the bag which was my very own game of 'Sorry', I flash them a smile as I thank them. "This one is from me and Naomi." Beth told me making Naomi giggle, I pulled out a picture frame that had a collage of polaroids in it of my 13 person family, with the word family in cursive in the centre. Tears welled in my eyes at the sight.

"Okay, finally open mine." Noel begged me, I smile at my little brother as he handed me a jewellery box. I open the box revealing a beautiful golden heart-shaped locket necklace, I open the heart to reveal two pictures. The first being of me and my gran, the second was of me, Noel and Naomi. "I love it Noel, thank you." I raise the locket to my neck, flinching as the cold metal burned my skin before clasping the necklace and straightening the heart. I pulled Noel into a hug for about 30 seconds before I stopped.

"Okay, now I have a surprise for everyone." I admit standing up on the bench, "attention please, can everyone follow me." I announced jumping off the bench, leading everyone towards the library. "Me and Carl have been working on this for a while, I would like to invite you into our library." I opened the door stepping against the wall as people make their way into the room, I heard a few gasps as everyone took in the sight. People walked around scanning the bookshelves, "it's not just a gold to kids." Daryl informed me, reminding me of the day I picked up most of the books and stationary supplies.

"This is perfect for the kids club, we could arts and crafts, story time." Carol spoke excitedly pulling me into a hug, then she pulled Carl into a hug. I slide my hand into Carl's as we watched everyone explore the room, he squeezed my hand as he whispered to me, "we did good." I turn my head to look at him, "yeah, we did." Carl smiles and we both tuned back into the room.

It was nice to be able to forget what was eating away at me for a couple of minutes, but then I saw him in the crowd, and then he was gone. I spun around and ran back to my cell, jumping into my bed and pulling the covers over my head as I tried to calm myself down, "ARGH." I curled up in a ball from severe pain in my hips. I cried as I winced in pain, "HERSHEL!" I heard Daryl yell, as he drags me off of the bed and runs me to Hershel's cell, I blacked out from the pain.

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I see Nyx run out of the library confused the group ran after her, I heard her groan in pain, she was sweating profusely and then I saw it blood, seeping into her sheets, "HERSHEL!" I yelled pulling Nyx off the bed, dragging the sheet with us as she was cramped up in pain. "There's something wrong." I inform Hershel who pulled out his medical supplies asking me to get George. I didn't hesitate, I ran to cell block B, "George, Nyx needs you." Is all I had to say for George to take off to cell block C after hearing the panic in my voice. "What's wrong?" Tyreese questioned, "it's not my place to say." I told him before running back to Nyx's side, holding her hand.

"What's wrong with her?" I question them, "looks like chronic pelvic pain, paired with Vaginitis and Vaginal bleeding." George informs me, he pauses for a second, "she was raped, wasn't she?" I nodded as I hold her hand to let her know I'm still here. "Do we have any Corticosteroids?" Hershel questions George, he searches through the medical supplies, pulling out a syringe as well as a little glass bottle, "yes we do." George put the needle of the syringe into the glass bottle filling it with whatever they were talking about.

"Inject it in her thigh." George pierced Nyx's skin, injecting the substance into her leg. I tuned out of what Hershel and George were saying, I look at Nyx with tears in my eyes, this little girl has been through way too much. Before and after the world went to shit, Noel and Naomi join me by Nyx's side, all of us holding her right hand for comfort. I slide hand off of Nyx's letting Noel and Naomi hold her hand as I held them for comfort.

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