Chains (Shoto x reader)

Chapter 29

After sitting on the bathroom floor for around 10 minutes, I finally stood up and made my way to class. There was still 5 minutes of lunch left but why go back if it's only gonna add to my anxiety?

2 minutes into drawing and I can already feel myself start to drift off. As much as I tried to fight the sleep trying to take over, I couldn't. My body needed it. I wanted it but I don't want what comes with it. Especially not at school. Not in front of everyone. The screams others can hear, the jerks they can see. I don't want them to know. To see me like that.

Right now, I don't have a choice in the matter. I've been forcing myself to stay awake for so long that I can't hold it back anymore. My eyes shut and my head fell into my arms that was my pillow for now.

I woke up in my old childhood bedroom. Plain, cream colored walls, a now dull yellow bed set my dad had bought for me once I grew out of my crib and a closet. It was probably the most boring bedroom you'd ever seen but, I tried to make it better with my terrible stick figure drawings of girls with triangle dresses next to boys with rectangles for clothes. It's the best I could do as a little kid. You're probably wondering where the toys are. What I had to play with was two stuffed animals, another thing my dad got me of course since my mom didn't give a fuck about me.

A white lamb that I'd slept with since I was born and a pink bear. Both stuffed with some type of soft beads that made them slightly heavy. Their names were lamby and beary. Don't come for me on that one. I know you have a least one stuffed animal with the stupidest, childish name you could think of.

The door to the room opened and in walked my mom. To other 5 year olds, they'd probably smile and give her a hug to send her off to bed but no. Not me. My mom hasn't stepped foot into my room since the day my dad died.

"Hey, I wanted to tell you something."

"O-okay..." I was confused at why she was being so nice but I couldn't help it when hope and happiness filled my heart at the chance that she might have changed even in the slightest.

I should of known better.

"When I come home the house should be cleaned spotless right? Dinner should be ready right?" I nodded to each thing. Why is she asking me this? I did my chores today.

"You're nodding yet you didn't do all of your chores yesterday. Dinner was cold, the trash wasn't taken out and the lamp was crooked. Did you break the lamp?" I shrunk back into the bed with each word.

"I'm sorry mama. The trash was too h-heavy, u-um I didn't know you would be h-home so late and the lamp f-fell when I was vacuuming.... I-I'm sorry I t-tried to fix it... i-it still works thoug-" I tried to sound optimistic at the end but before I could, her hand came in contact with my throat.

"These are all excuses. I'm tired of all of your fuck ups. This is the second time this week. Did you think I wouldn't notice the broken glass in the trash hm? You're so fucking clumsy. Why'd I get you for a daughter? Why not someone pretty and graceful? Someone who doesn't break everything they touch or trip over absolutely nothing."

My eyes were wide as I kept scratching at her hands. The little bit of strength that I had left me along with the air in my lungs. Her grip was so tight that I couldn't breath. Something that we all needed to do to live. Her goal was to kill me.

"S....top..." Was all I could say before my vision started to fade into nothing but darkness.

~~~

I jolted up in my seat and gasped. My hands shot up to my neck and my nails dig into the skin. I could still feel her hands tightly around my throat. I could still hear her words that sucked any positive feelings out of me and replaced it with negative ones.

Feelings that made me want to give into her. Feelings that are making me not want to struggle against her and just let her take me.

Why? Why is this the life I was given? Why couldn't I have a mom that was at least somewhat of a decent human being? That didn't hate me. I can't be that bad right?

Shoto's pov

When I got back to class, (Y/n) was sleeping at her desk. The worry that had built up inside me went away and I walked to my seat next to hers. I was gonna wake her up but, both me and Mr. Aizawa knew that she hasn't been getting any sleep even if she tries to fake it.

It was around the middle of class when she started to move around in her seat. At first I thought she was just changing positions but the more she moved the more I ditched the idea. Every minute I looked over to check on her and once she started whimpering, I stopped looking away.

My eyebrows scrunched up as the worry that left 15 minutes ago came back. When (Y/n) jumped up, I flinched and quickly crouched down next to her. I could feel the eyes of the students and hear the fast footsteps of who I'm guessing are Bakugou and Aizawa's but I didn't care. They were irrelevant right now.

"(Y/n)...." I whispered and slowly turned her body to face mine. I quickly took her hands away from her slightly bleeding neck and into my hands. Her name and reassuring words quietly and softly flowed out of my mouth until she finally looked at me. She flinched when her fear filled eyes met mine before her jaw clenched and her eyes filled with tears. I picked her up and gently held her head against my shoulder.

Her hands grabbed onto my uniform and the tears started to flow. With how quiet the classroom was, I knew they could hear her cries. Each one was filled with so much pain that it made my heart clench painfully tight. The second I made it out of the classroom, I ran to the roof so no one else would see her and make this even harder for her.

"Am I really that bad?"

Those word broke my heart more than she would ever know.