just for you (years 5-7)

chapter 7

(chapter 6 has since been unpublished. previously included a sex scene)
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there's something to say for being able to pretend. being able to make believe that everything's fine, that our small corner of this big big world isn't about to come crashing down on top of us. that i can just sit here, gossiping with my friends about a boy i'm head over heels for... as if his father hasn't just been thrown into jail for trying to kill our fellow classmates.

it all sounds insane, right?

but somehow, we're able to do that. to pretend. to push away all of the bad thoughts and hold on to this moment, and wish with every fiber of our being that things truly were this simple.

it's nice to imagine, that all i have to worry about is how to sneak my boyfriend out of my bed the next morning, how i'm going to answer the questions my friends are bound to ask at some point. but i know soon i'm going to have to face reality, and accept the fact that things are changing for the worst.

but that days not today. for now, i'll stay seated on my bed cross legged, staring at my best friend across from me whose jaw is dropped, pointing at the light purple marks on my neck, and pretend.

"y- you- youuuuu-!!!" she gets louder and louder, smiling and pointing at me, but not being able to form a sentence with her excitement

"don't you dare start without me" a shout comes from the adjoined room, and then pansy comes running in. we've been getting along great these past few months, surprisingly. it feels just like when we were younger. i think her moving on to some new interests have helped me feel less uneasy towards her. she hooked up with blaise over christmas break, now that him and astoria have finally admitted their juvenile childhood crush would never work in reality. we're all very happy with that decision, hearing them complain was always awful.

and now, pansy's hung up on theodore nott. hung up isn't quite the right word i guess, seeing as he likes her back. he's a nice guy, real attractive too. i was never really close with him though. liked him in second year... he was my first crush. but obviously, seeing as we were so young, nothing ever came of it. he was always friendly with our group, but never quite in it. maybe that's why pansy went for him, as a way to get her mind away from draco. either way, it worked.

and now the three of us are thick as thieves again, gushing over boys and giggling in our dorm until 3 am, pretending it's the most important thing in the world.

pansy jumps down onto my bed, smiling next to daphne, "sooooooo?" she smirks, leaning towards me and raising her eyebrows. i smile a little, already starting to blush without having even spoken yet.

in a second, i'm relaying the events of last night. i leave some details for myself, of course, and don't mention any of the stuff about draco's dad. at the end of it all, daphne is leaning back against the bedpost, her hand covering her mouth and her eyes wide. pansy's giggling to herself, shaking her head.

"wow" she laughs, covering her mouth as well

"yeah" i nod, a smile still on my face

"good job, malfoy" daphne raises her eyebrows, mumbling under her breath. we both look at her, and soon we're all laughing loudly, the sounds of our chuckles filling the room.

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"hellloooooo" i say in a singsong voice, running around the tree and sitting down next to draco. he's leaned back against a large oak on the hill, reading a book. with exams over now, and the weekend past, we only have three days until term ends and we're sent home, out of the safety of hogwarts and back to reality. i need to savor these moments before they're gone.