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emerson
over the next few days, i find myself falling into a weird place. i haven't seen or spoken to anyone other than noah. i'm not in the mood to be around anyone else really.
i can't help but still be shaken up from what happened with jonah.
i just never expected this behavior from him and it's highly disappointing.
i keep wondering if maybe i did something to set him off. he's never acted this way before. and to accuse me and his own best friends of shit we would never do to him, that's just... not it.
tate clearly has a hold on him and it's ruining everything we worked hard to build together. we had a great system set up and now it's to the point where i don't even want noah going over there on the weekends, especially if she's there.
it's just not fair. everything i've done for him; packed up my entire life, moved to l.a. with no one but noah... i left my family behind, my friends, gave up college. you would think he'd be more grateful.
i'm sitting here drowning in loneliness and he doesn't even care. all he's worried about is me sleeping with his bandmates??? make it make sense.
"momma are you okay?" i hear my son ask quietly.
i didn't even notice him enter my room.
"i'm okay. mommy just has a lot on her mind."
he frowns and puts his arms up, signaling for me to lift him onto the bed. i do so and he cuddles into my side.
"can i ask a question?"
i furrow my eyebrows at the small boy, "of course bud. what is it?"
it's only then that i realize that something is truly bothering him. his bottom lip pouts outward and it starts to tremble, which is how i know he's about to start crying.
"does daddy hate me?"
that one question is like a stab straight through the heart.
"w-what? no baby, of course not. why would you ask that?" i turn so that i'm facing him fully.
a few tears run down his chubby cheeks so i wipe them away and lift him so that he's sitting on my lap,
"noah listen to me, your dad loves you so much. i can promise you that."
he doesn't respond and continues to cry into my chest.
i'm still very shocked at the question. i never want him to feel like his parents don't love him because that'll never be the case.
i rack my brain for possible reasons as to why he feels this way and only one thing comes to mind.
tate must've said something to him, and i vow to find out what she did to make him think like this.
