once we met | derek morgan. ✓

22 : pain.

d e r e k .

I pull out of the hug, cupping my hands around Jules' cheeks.

"We're having a baby boy." I say, tears springing in the corner of my eyes.

She nods as a soft, excited smile dances on her lips.

I wipe the slight tears that fall down her cheeks with my thumbs.

I never imagined this would happen in a million years. Holy shit. I'm having a kid.

I glance at Jules as she smiles softly, talking to Dr. Kepner and Dr. Montgomery.

Dr. Kepner carefully approaches Jules' bedside, "Congratulations to the both of you. I'll be sure to pray for both you and your baby while you are in surgery." She states with a soft smile before giving Jules a hug.

"Thank you." Jules states as Dr. Kepner nods as a you're welcome, leaning over to give me a small, congratulating hug.

Dr. Montgomery and Dr. Kepner leave the room, leaving Jules and I alone.

I turn to Jules slightly, my eyes meeting hers. She seems distant, as though something is bothering her. I want to ask what's wrong, but I know it's probably about the fight and I really don't want to ruin the happy moment we just had.

I think for a moment, examining Jules closely.

She's distant, won't maintain eye contact for too long like she used to, her eyes constantly fixated on inatimate objects, constant biting of the inside of her lips and cheeks, and picking at the finger nails. When her eyes gaze into mine, they don't stay there for a while. She doesn't seem angry so it can't be about the fight. Her hands don't touch her body and she doesn't focus on the fetal monitor when zoning out, meaning it's not about the pregnancy or the near loss of our child. But when her eyes gaze back into mine for the final time, they're distant, they don't look at me the same -- her mind is constantly traveling meaning that she's thinking of a past memory. Her eyes seem distant but they're longing. This isn't about anything...this is about me...this is about us. She's thinking of reasons to stay in this relationship. Oh my God. I really did screw this up, didn't I?

"Jules..." I mumble, my hands touching hers in comfort.

Her eyes still seem distant and she stays quiet.

"Baby, talk to me, please." I beg.

"What is there to talk about Derek?" She asks, giving me a bit of the cold shoulder.

"Everything. We need to talk about the fight that happened between me and Luke at the BAU, the baby, our relationship..." I begin as she cuts me off.

She gazes at me, gnawing at the inside of her cheeks, her eyes flaming in anger as her cheeks flush.

"Tell me what's on your mind." I state, lacing my hands with hers.

"Are you truly happy we're having a kid or is that all an act for everyone to see?" She asks sternly.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask, my brow furrowing.

"You seem all dandy and excited when you found out that we're having a baby boy, but you had no fucking problem screaming at Luke and creating a scene infront of the entire team when you pulled a pregnancy test out of my purse..." She states sternly.

"How the hell do you expect me to react when you didn't even bother to tell me?" I ask, my tone low and stern.

Jules scoffs in anger, "I found out an hour in advance! You know that! You couldn't have put it back in my purse and asked about it later!?" She exclaims.