Someone You Loved// BTS X Soulmate AU

you got no jams

3 weeks.

 That is how long I have been avoiding Namjoon and the boys.

 It wasn't that I hated them. In fact, I had accepted my fate as soon as they showed me their tattoos. 

I am just scared that I will get hurt.

 Growing up, I never had a good past in relationships. They had all found their soul mates pretty early on, 2 of them even going as far as to cheat on me with them. 

My parents always worked so I could never talk to them.  

I didn't have any friends; I was an introvert at heart and hated socializing.

 So I turned to the one thing that seemed to listen: Food. 

I would eat away all my sorrows. I would deal with a failing grade with a large supreme pizza with extra cheese, Deal with being rejected and not finding my soul mate in a giant bag of salt and vinegar chips. 

It wasn't until later that I realized I had went from 200 pounds to almost 350 in the matter of a few months.

 I then decided that I would stop my dirty habit and become more active.

 I joined the school track team, started working out after school, got into college and joined that colleges track team. It wasn't until I was chosen to move up that I broke my ankle and had to drop out of the track team.

 Despite working out, however, I never lost all of the weight, which leaves me stuck at 250. As someone who is 5 ft. 8, the size isn't as big as people think. 

I am, however, proud that I was able to turn around my life. 

I am just terrified that my life will go back to that if something were to happen between me and the boys. 

My phone vibrated for the 6th time this morning. 

As much as I was telling myself to pick up the phone, my head kept deciding against it.

 I couldn't put myself in a position to get hurt again. 

GROW UP STAR!

I check the messages anyway.

Namjoon: Kitten, I am so worried about you. Please, Its killing me not knowing if you are okay or not

Unknown: Hello darling, It's Jin. I am so sorry that this was all thrown on you and I feel so terrible. Just let us know you are okay .

Unknown: Teddy bear? Its Tae and kook. we miss you. can we please see you?

Unknown: Star shine, Its Hoseok. Please don't be mad at us. we all miss you

Unknown: kitty? Please come back. I need to make good on my promise to have you scream my name ;)

I roll my eyes and smile a bit at the message.

Unknown: Baby, are you okay? I am scared that you've hurt yourself, and that its all our fault. I hope that you can find it in you to forgive us. I really miss you, But if you don't care that's fine. I wanted to come knock on your door, and just talk to you, even if it were through the crack in the door, but Joonie refuses to give us the apartment number. Please just let us explain. I will be here if you decide the loneliness is too much. Yoongi.

I frown at all the messages. 

These boys were so worried about me and I was making them suffer because I couldn't let go of the past.

 Yoongi was right, I did need someone to talk to. I unlock my phone again and click on the last message.

Me: My apartment is 34-2. Don't tell anyone else you are coming please. The door is unlocked

I waited for about 20 minutes before I hear the apartment door open.

 I had isolated myself to my room, only coming out to do necessary things.

 Yoongi found his way into the room, before coming over to me and sitting at the foot of my bed. 

He studied my depression room state with a slight frown on his face, before turning to me. "Are you okay, Star?" He asks me. 

I tried to nod my head, I really did, but the tears overpowered me and I leapt into his arms and cried. 

He shushed me, running his hands in my hair and humming softly to me. 

When I finally stopped crying, he grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes, wiping stray tears away. 

"Are you okay, Princess?"

 I shook my head, not trusting my voice.

 We sat there like that for a few more moments, before I got up and wrapped the covers around my body, grabbing some sweats and waddling to the bathroom.

 I changed, washed my face, and walked back out. 

When I came out, he was looking at my calendar. It was still fairly blank, as I haven't made much effort to fill it out yet.

 He turned and smiled at me. "Would you feel comfortable enough to get coffee with me? I usually don't get coffee because I prefer to sleep in, but worrying about you is all I could think about." 

"I would love to get some coffee. When I moved my stuff here I seen this cute little coffee shop called the Human Bean. Could we go there?"

 He chuckles. "Sure, princess. wherever you wish."

After ordering our coffees, we made our way over to a corner booth, sliding in across from one another. I look at him and then realization hits.

 "Are the others going to hate me if they found out I was here with you? I haven't spoken to any of them." I said guiltily. I am such a horrible person.

" Relax, princess.  If they will be mad at anyone, it'll be me. Besides, They know I wouldn't go anywhere without someone willingly. I hate people."

 I smile. 

"So, lets talk. Why have you been ignoring us for 3 weeks?"

 I sigh. "Its not that I don't accept you guys. In all honesty, I accepted it as soon as I seen all of your marks. I am just so afraid of getting hurt and let down, and I don't want to go back to the way I use to be."

 I look down. "I also don't want to let you guys down. I know that you guys are use to having each other and I don't want to break you guys apart." 

He grabs my hand in his. "Star, look at me"

 I look into his eyes. "We don't care about being hurt. As soon as Joon brought you into our lives, we knew we would always be there for you, through thick or thin. We need you just as much as you need us. We won't force you into any type of relationship with us. We aren't those type people, and we understand boundaries. But you can't leave us hanging, Princess. Tae and Kook think that you are upset with them because they were to touchy. Joonie blames himself for putting you under all this pressure. It doesn't have to be today, or hell even this week. But you need to speak with the others. I promise we will all sort this through, okay?"

 I nod my head. We finish drinking our coffee before he grabs my hand and we walk towards the apartments. 

I decided that I was going to talk to the others. I want to let them know that I have chose them, and I had the most perfect idea of how to do so.