MAGNETIC [H.S.]

3. flashbacks & echos*

It's been a week since I ran out of the studio.

Grant called me later that night and asked what the fuck was wrong with me so I told him I was sick and I didn't want to embarrass him by throwing up there. He informed me that it was refreshing that I didn't think of only myself for once. He did not however ask if I was okay or stop by to see me, so...fuck him.

I avoided his calls for three days but then I got a little drunk and really horny so I answered his call, used his dick to get me off twice, and then I went home.

I really should break up with him but I mean, why? It's not like I really want to date anyway.

I'm not yearning to be loved, I just like to be fucked. Grant is very convenient for that so I don't see the point in getting rid of him until he really pisses me off too much.

I've never dated much, I was fat in high school so most guys just fucked me and kept me a secret because heaven forbid the world know they thought the fat girl was hot, Harry included.

College wasn't much different, I was thinner then though so it was more socially acceptable to actually be seen with me in public.

I went on a few dates back then but my opinion of men only lowered even more from the way they treated me. I've had one other serious boyfriend before Grant and that only lasted about eight months.

He was wonderful. He was handsome and kind and made me laugh, he could cook and he had the sweetest dog. He made me feel loved for the first time, I think. He was everything I wanted and much more than I thought I deserved.

When he left me I cried for days.

Rose and Sebastian had to literally pick me up off the floor after the third day. I was very dramatic, I thought I'd never love again and all that shit. I was 23 so it's to be expected really, but I got over it after a couple of weeks.

I met Grant a few months later and made the choice to try again, and well, we can all see how well that's going for me.

We're supposed to get dinner tonight before he goes back to the studio so I need to decide what I want to eat, not that it really matters though, Grant will complain about my choice and we'll end up wherever he wants to go anyway. For now, I'm going to worry about eating the delicious bagel that I know Sebastian has waiting for me at the cafe.

My stomach growled as I finished getting ready, I was running late because I haven't slept well. Pale green eyes are haunting me in my dreams.

A few photographers that frequent the studio are stopping by to take some test shots and needed me in them so I went for an all-black outfit and then tossed a white, striped satin shirt over the top before I bundled up to face the great outdoors.