Pure Tears. Pure Love. Pure Pain.

Chapter Two

Tw: Nightmares

You had skipped the whole team dinner, and spent time in your room. But you had been introduced to everyone. And everyone was really kind and sweet to you and Bucky (Steve's old friend and the new guy you had seen earlier). You decided to head to bed and tried to use the settings on the windows to make them block out the light. But you couldn't work it. And it started to annoy you. So you tried to find Tony. You stormed out the room, and walked straight into Bucky. "Shit sorry," you said.

"It's okay," he said, "I should've been looking out for someone to come walking straight into me," he chuckled softly and your heart melted. "See you," he walked into the bathroom, and for a second you forgot what you were doing because you were so starstruck by him. Remembering you had to go shout at Tony for his stupid expensive technology, you walked into the elevator.

Tony managed to fix the window lighting within five seconds, "There, do you understand?" said Tony, mockingly.

"Yes," you said, "Thank you," sarcasm dripped from your voice. He smiled and left the room. You climbed into bed and tried to fall asleep. But nightmares filled your mind. Every person you killed screaming your name as they slowly died. You tried not to scream, but that was all you could hear. Until you realised that it wasn't you who was screaming.

You opened the door to your room, the screams still echoing round the corridor. It had to be Steve's friend, you rested against the wall before sliding down to sit on the floor. You sat with your head against the wall, tears streaming down your face. The faces of everyone you'd killed in your head. You heard Bucky's door open and looked up to see him standing in front of you, slightly shaking.

His hair had been washed and pulled into a bun. The stubble from around his face was gone, and the lack of baseball cap showed his face. He was gorgeous. There was no light in his blue eyes, unlike Steve's, instead they were more like a window to his broken soul. It made your heart ache. "Are you okay?" his voice was sweet and filled with concern.

"No," you said quietly, wiping the tears from under your eyes, "I am horrible, awful, a terrible person" Bucky sat down against the wall next to you.

"Me too," said Bucky, "Look I was a villain, but I couldn't control it, I didn't want to, and yes I still did it, and after a while it felt normal, but the point is that both me and you are here, trying to change what we did wrong, don't blame yourself," he held your hand, making your heart beat quickly in your chest, "Promise me,"

"I don't make promises I can't keep," you said. "I'm gonna go out and clear my head, thanks Bucky,"

"Wait I'll come with you," said Bucky, getting up and following you, "It's dark out, I won't talk, just so I know you're okay," he was literally so sweet. And adorable. Omg why were you crushing on him already?

"Don't you need to sleep?" you asked him, going into the elevator.

"I get nightmares too," said Bucky, "It's easier to not sleep, so I don't mind coming with you," your heart melted. He was so cuteee.

You walked round New York for a while, it was cold and dark, but the streets were mostly empty. As Bucky promised, he didn't talk to you. Instead you walked in silence, you let your head clear, and it felt in some way like you were honouring those who you had killed. Bucky seemed to be thinking deeply about something, so you didn't try and start a conversation. He kept by your side, your shoulder against his bicep. His presence was comforting.

"Hey you okay now?" asked Bucky quietly. "You seemed pretty shaken,"

"Yeah I'm doing okay," you said, "Lets make our way back to the tower, it's cold," he nodded and you walked back to the tower, in silence again. But you were glad he had broken the silence before. You knew both you and Bucky seemed to be going through something, but you wanted to be there for him.

When you got back to the tower, you kept your distance, now that Tony's cameras were watching. "I don't want to say let's do this again," you said, because you didn't want either of you to have another nightmare that kept you awake, "But let's hang out together again, you're good company," you smiled as the elevator doors opened, and you walked back to your rooms. "Goodnight Bucky,"

"Night doll," he said, before going into his room. Your heart skipped a beat when he called you doll. He probably hadn't thought anything of calling you doll, but it made you feel something. Something that you should not be feeling.

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The next day, you woke up early, the sunlight filtering through the windows, even though you'd set them not to do that. You had no idea how Tony's technology worked. Deciding to train early, you pulled on some yoga pants and a sports bra before tying up your hair. When you opened your door, so did Bucky. "Hi Y/n," said Bucky, he was wearing black sweatpants and a white shirt. And his hair was in the bun again. Your stomach filled with butterflies. He was so hot omg.

"Hi Bucky," you said, "How are you?" you didn't want to ask if he'd slept okay. Even though you hadn't heard anymore screams. You didn't know anything about his nightmares, or what he went through.

"I'm okay," said Bucky, "I'm just heading to the gym," he looked at you, "You wanna train with me?" before you could answer, he quickly interrupted, "I won't hurt you"

"No yeah I know," you said quickly, you felt so awful that he thought that he would hurt you, when he wouldn't. You were a deadly assassin, he should be worried. "Yeah sure let's train together, I wanna see what you've got," he chuckled softly and you literally died from adorableness. You headed to the training room, Bucky following behind.

You started on the treadmill, to warm up with a light jog. Bucky started lifting weights on the other side of the gym. The gym was massive, a whole floor big, full of training equipment. "Is that all you can do?" called Bucky, as he lifted 50kg like it was nothing.

You laughed, "Sure,"

"Hey guys," said Steve, coming in, wearing a white shirt, converse and grey sweats. A very attractive look. You were in a gym, with two of the most attractive men you'd ever seen. It was like a romance novel. "You training? Sorry that was obvious," you laughed, he was so awkward, and cute. "Can I join?"

"I guess I can kick one more ass," you said, going over to where all the mats were arranged so everyone could fight or train or whatever. You'd never really fought and trained with someone else. But it was good to try a new training style. "Okay who shall I fight first?"

An hour later, you were covered in sweat, and so were both the super soldiers you'd taken down. It was fair to say that you'd kicked their ass. And because it was Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, you were very proud of yourself. "That was impressive," came a woman's voice from the corner of the room. Natasha Romanoff. The assassin sent to find you. "I'm glad you came easily, I wouldn't want to fight you," she smiled, and you couldn't tell whether it was mockery or not.

"Thanks," you said, "Thanks for the workout boys, if that's what you want to call it," you followed Nat into the elevator. Leaving the two super soldiers, both of them watching you intently. Your crushes were about to get out of hand. Because they were both extremely attracted to you.

Authors Note❤: I'm bored of online school so here 💞 I'm in the middle of watching The Martian lmao and Seb in a NASA hoodie is the cutest thing 🥺