Pure Tears. Pure Love. Pure Pain.

Chapter Eighteen

"Hey y/n," said Bucky, "What's going on?"

You bit your lip, debating on whether or not to end the phone call and apologise. "Um Bucky are you busy?" you asked him, this was bad. This was everything you shouldn't have done. But the sincerity in his voice, the way he cared. The fact that you wanted him here more than you wanted Steve here.

"No, why?" he asked, "Is everything okay?"

"How fast can you get here?"

Bucky arrived at your hospital room in just under fifteen minutes, he was wearing his gym clothes. So you assumed you had bothered him during a training session. He was holding a hoodie, which he handed to you. "Thanks," you said quietly, "You can sit on the bed," he sat down next to you again, wrapping his arm around you. Bucky reached for the TV remote, and switched it on.

He immediately switched it to play your favourite show. And it made your heart feel warm how much he actually cared. He pretended to hate you, but you didn't. I mean, he even knew your favourite show, and dropped everything to be with you. Steve, maybe he was your boyfriend, but you would never be his first priority. His first priority was being a hero. Saving the world.

Bucky and you sat in a comfortable silence as the TV show played. "Hey Bucky," you said, he turned to look at you. "Thank you for being here," you buried your head into his shoulder as he wrapped you into a warm hug.

Bucky smiled, "That's okay," he whispered, as he ran his metal fingers through your hair and kissed the top of your head, "I'll always be here when you call, no matter what,"

And that was the moment you realised.

You deserved Bucky more than Steve.

Bucky didn't loosen his grip around your waist. And he held you close into his chest as you breathed in his scent. You looked up at Bucky, who was already looking down at you. He stroked your cheek with his hand, and wrapped his arm around your neck. His eyes lingered on your lips. You moved so you were more comfortable in his embrace and you cupped his face. Then he kissed you. The most magical kiss ever, he ran his hands from your hair down your back, sending a shiver up your spine. His tongue swept across yours, and you moved your hands up to run through his silky hair.

But then Bucky quickly pulled away, his face red. "No," said Bucky, you looked confused, "No you're with Steve," he rubbed his hand across his forehead, "He's my best friend, I can't do that to him," he felt bad that he kissed you. Then again, he kissed you. He really kissed you.

You looked away, feeling ashamed. "Sorry," you said, Bucky moved his arms from around you. "Look I don't really-,"

"I know," said Bucky, interrupting you, "I want you Y/N, I don't want to have to sneak around with you, I don't want to have half of you or share you with Steve. I want you. So, you leave Steve and you have me. And I'll wait Y/N, I'll wait for you forever if I have to," you shifted out of his embrace and looked out the window.

You heard a knock at the door, and two Nurses came in. Bucky kissed your hand before leaving the room as you were prepped for surgery. You didn't even know which of your problems to deal with right now. The fact you were having surgery, the fact you wanted to be with Bucky and the fact you didn't know where you were with Steve right now. A couple minutes before you were taken to the OR, Bucky came back to your room. "Hi," he said quietly, you looked over at him and smiled, "Good luck,"

"Thanks Bucky," you said, smiling weakly.

He blew you a kiss, "I'll bring you Starbucks? Won't make you run for it," you laughed as he smiled at you, "See you later Doll," then you were wheeled away for surgery. The last thing you saw before you went into the OR was Bucky standing by the wall watching you. And if it was the last thing you ever saw you would be happy with that.

But hopefully you got to see Bucky again.

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As you opened your eyes, you felt a pain in your right side. The surgery was successful. Thank God. Monitors next to you were beeping, and a nurse was filling in charts, "You've been asleep for like twenty four hours," she said, "But your surgery went great, you can be released in a few days, everything's looking great," you smiled gratefully, your eyes were still heavy from the anesthesia. But you heard the door open once more.

Bucky.

"Buck," you said, smiling as he made his way over to you. He handed you your Starbucks, "Thank you," he chuckled, and sat down on the edge of the bed. You checked your phone, but there was still no word Steve. You'd had surgery and he didn't even bother to check on you. Bucky noticed your face drop but said nothing.

The rest of the day, you spent cuddling up with Bucky in the hospital bed. And you were recovering quickly so were hoping to be back in the tower with the others by tomorrow afternoon. Bucky was falling asleep on your shoulder, he must be so tired. He was awake for hours, making sure you were okay. That was so sweet. You were less tired than him, but he was breathing quietly, as he fell asleep and it made you tired too.

"I choose you," you whispered as you fell asleep in Bucky's arms.

Bucky smiled to himself as he fell asleep, letting his dreams recapture him. But you'd chosen him. Whatever that meant. He didn't have to fall asleep dreaming he was holding you because he actually was. Reality was finally better than his dreams.

You chose Bucky.