Pure Tears. Pure Love. Pure Pain.

Chapter Thirty One

December 1st had arrived. After spending six and a half hours organising the kitchen yesterday you had immediately collapsed into bed. Bucky had been off your mind pretty much the whole time. But he was the first thing on your mind when you opened your bedroom door at the same time he did. Nope this is not happening.

Pretending like you didn't see him, you continued to the stairs and slammed the door behind you. "Look y/n wait," he said, opening the door. You walked quicker up towards the kitchen. Also so many stairs was a crime. Even though there was a lift, but being stuck in a metal box with Bucky was not something you wanted. So the stairs it was.

When you almost reached the door to the kitchen Bucky caught up to you. "Can we talk?" he caught your wrist but you slapped his hand.

"No we cannot talk James," you were going to open the kitchen door but stopped. "I asked for space to recover because I was in a bad place, and you broke up with me and not only didn't talk to me for 30 days, on purpose. You're dating someone else now?" when Bucky tried to interrupt you stopped him. "It's embarrassing not only for me but for you too. But do you know how I feel? No because you haven't spoken to me in 30 days,"

It was then you went into the kitchen. The overwhelming smell of gingerbread hit you straight away. Mugs of hot chocolate, gingerbread men iced to perfection and chocolate chip pancakes were on the kitchen island. "You're awake finally," Wanda said, as you sat down next to Vision.

"It's 6.30am," you said, "I'm barely ever awake at this time,"

"I've been up since 3am," Wanda responded, as if it was a good thing. "No we have honey," Vision added, she smiled at him. Well at least she had someone who would wake up at 3am to help her decorate for Christmas. "Ok y/n go get everyone,"

"Oh no. I am not going to wake up the team before 8am. What are you crazy?" although it did mean that you could put Bucky through the same pain. Having to spend the whole day with you, and decorating for Christmas and being bossed around. "Okay fine I'll do it,"

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When the team had been gathered and eaten pancakes Wanda got to work handing out pieces of paper from her folder. "Okay here's how things are going to work," this was a more serious event than planned. "Sam, Steve and Bucky are putting up the trees. You each have a map of where each tree needs to go. Peter and Tony you are tackling the downstairs lobby, there's three boxes of decorations over there let me know if you need more. Pepper is doing the office floors so I don't need to worry about that. Bruce and Clint hallways and the elevator. Actually use the spare tinsel to do the stairways as well. Thor and Rhodey are doing the lights on the jet landing and outside. There's a big tree on delivery which Vision is dealing with, stupid delivery people, anyway that's going out front." She stopped, and everyone waited in anticipation. "That's it! Go!" everyone scrambled from their chairs and disappeared from the kitchen.

Just you, Wanda and Nat were left. "Okay we're gonna decorate this floor and then we can go Christmas shopping," she laughed before handing out the decorations, "this floor is the most important, and I've been so stressed so I think we're in need of retail therapy,"

You and Nat put up the huge Christmas tree by the window between the living room and kitchen as Wanda organised the tree decorations. Soon enough all three of you were hanging them on the tree, most of the baubles were white. There was a bauble dedicated to each team member that Wanda had found on Etsy. Wanda added fairy lights and the star and then the tree was done.

"It's so cute," you said, as you laid little wrapped boxes under the tree. Wanda placed a Christmas wreath above the fire place as Nat set out the Christmas cushions and blankets on the sofa.

"That's it!" Wanda said excitedly. "Okay, meet downstairs in 10?"

Once you were ready, with a beige puffer coat, black oversized hoodie and blue jeans. You wore some beige heeled boots and a small black purse. You lit a Christmas candle before leaving your room. And walking straight into Bucky. But not just Bucky. Bucky and his brunette.

"Oh for fucks sake," you really could not believe your own damn bad luck. "Don't let me interrupt,"

You were a bit late meeting Nat and Wanda but they didn't seem to mind. "Hey you seem upset," Nat said to you quietly as Wanda told Thor he was putting the window stickers on wrong. "Is everything okay you seemed fine this morning,"

"Bucky's dating," you whispered, "and I keep walking right into them, and I don't know I'm-"

"In need of a boyfriend," said Nat, "forget shopping let's go to shield and judge all the prospective options, or we could go shopping, and find a cute guy at the mall? Oh wait. No. Hm where do hot guys live?"

"Opposite me," you said, Nat sighed. "Look I'm not gonna find a hot guy and flaunt him around the tower to get back at Bucky, oh my god I should find a hot guy and flaunt him around the tower to get back at Bucky." Nat nodded as she picked her car keys from the desk. The bitches stood behind the desk were staring at you, "what the hell are you looking at?"

Nat grabbed your arm, "okay come on," she said, grabbing Wanda too, "you guys need to chill out, y/n you need to get a boyfriend, Wanda you have to stop thinking this is going to be a perfect Christmas,"

You all sat in the corvette, in silence. "Bucky's dating," you said, mainly to Wanda. "And I don't know what to do, because I think...I think I loved him, love. Can I still love him? I don't know I just. Ugh,"

"If you love him you should tell him," said Wanda, as Nat started speeding on the freeway.

"And let him win? No." you were mostly drowned out by Nat shouting at other drivers. "Nat it is snowing and it is the first day of Christmas the roads are not going to be clear." it was a little aggressive but you were still pissed off at Bucky, and yourself for still wanting Bucky. "Sorry I'm sorry let's just go shopping,"

You hadn't done well at trying to be fine with Bucky dating. Instead you were in love with him and not loving Christmas.

Authors Note: Ugh I'm already stressed about revision and it's October 🙄 teachers are so annoying. 73 days until Christmas!!! Xx