Highway Kismet

Too Much Testosterone

On my way back from Wang's, I was at the traffic intersection, waiting for the light to turn green and that was when I noticed Leo's car next to mine. I squinted my eyes to make sure it was him and I knew I could recognize him anywhere; he was looking ahead and was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

I wondered why he was back a day prior, but then again it was Leo, and he couldn't stick to one place, especially when his entire extended family was around – his ears were probably sore from all the loud voices and shouting at each other.

I honked to get his attention and it didn't take him a second to notice me, he frowned for a second before he grinned, and half waved. I was about to roll down my window to ask him what he was doing back so soon but a honk from behind got my attention and made me realize the light turned green.

Leo mimed the words, 'see you later' before we both drove off. I was looking forward to seeing him, it felt like ages since it was just the two of us, we were both so busy with school and life that despite living in the same city, we still barely saw each other.

When I got back to the apartment building and parked my car in the basement, I glanced at the white G-Wagon parked adjacent to my silver car, looking at it made me think of Mitchell and how weird things became in a matter of minutes. I wondered what he was thinking, I hadn't heard from him since I ignored his call, so I figured he understood I didn't want to talk and wanted space. But I still thought about him, I wondered if he was back home or still with Liza. I wondered what he told his parents when they asked where I was, or where we were the entire afternoon.

I shook away my thoughts, I needed to clear my mind and not think about what he was doing, I had a more pressing matter at hand and that was to rid the cold that I caught. My throat started to hurt more as the day progressed and I felt a little feverish.

As soon as I got inside, I made myself a hot cup of chamomile tea, it would help with my throat and even calm down my anxious mind, while waiting for the water to boil I checked my phone for any texts but once again was let down when the name I wanted to pop up didn't.

"You wanted space so why are you expecting him to chase you?" I mumbled to myself.

I told myself that I was Mila and not Liza, so I shouldn't expect Mitchell to run after me – only Liza got that kind of love and attention from him.

While I sat in the living room with the cup of tea in my hand, the silence around me was deafening. It was the first time in a long while that I was all alone, at least until after my mom died. At first, it was welcoming but the more I sat and just stared at the wall, the more all those awful negative feelings I had resurfaced, the void that was still ever-present in my heart was felt once more.

I felt alone, there was nowhere I could call home, Faith was still with her family, the situation with my dad wasn't great – I knew seeing my brothers would've been the best medicine, but I wasn't ready to see my dad as yet. I wished I could've flown to Spain and be with my grandparents, but with my school schedule it would've never worked out.

I sighed and shut my eyes, resting my hand on the backrest of the couch, just a day before I was smiling like an idiot thinking that I found someone I could always rely on, but he ditched me the moment his ex walked in with tears in her eyes. Thinking that way made me happy that I ditched his beloved car at the airport, he was lucky I didn't leave it in the middle of nowhere.

I hugged myself, bringing my knees to my chest, and felt a lump build in my throat, I was missing my mom tremendously, whenever I got sick, she took care of me until I was one hundred percent better, she would nurse me to health in no time and made sure I wasn't stuck alone in a room, she watched movies with me, brought food to me and always found a way to make me smile.