The Notebook

Im broken !!! part .21

The Notebook- Chapter 21

Sophia’s POV

I curl up on the couch, sobbing uncontrollably. Zayn, I love you; I never meant to hurt you.

“Sophia, please tell me what’s wrong.” I look at Jay through tear filled eyes and I see concern plaguing his face.

“Nothing Jay, I’m sorry, I should go.”

He places his hand over mine, “I want to help you. What happened, what made you react like this?”

“It’s complicated and I really don’t want to talk about that. I want to know why you told Louis that we are together?” I don’t mean for it to come out like a reproach but it does.

“I wanted to help you, you were the one that went along with it.” he counters.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” I mumble.

“No, I’m sorry Soph. I saw you crying there and I wanted to help and…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said you were my girlfriend.”

“No, I- now that I think about it, it’s for the best.” I sadly admit.

“But why? What happened?” he persists on finding out.

“Because Jay, I had this stupid fantasy that everything was going to work out but it didn’t and I have to keep it like this.”

“I don’t get what you’re trying to say Soph.” he asks confused.

“That I need to keep up this façade in front of everyone so that Zayn and Perrie can be happy…that is until I go back home.”

“Zayn? He was the love you were talking about? He- why-”

“I don’t want to get into it right now but will you help me with this?” I look up at him.

“I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend Soph, but I can start with this.” he says hopefully.

“Jay-”

“No Sophia. You’ve made it clear that you love Zayn but I’m making it clear to you that I’m gonna do everything I can to be that one guy for you. I want to be with you Sophia.”

I cry at his words, “Jay, I need to focus on my life right now. I don’t want to say yes and then regret it.”

“I understand and I’ll wait.” he wraps his arms securely around my waist. “For you.”

-

“Ryan, I’m ok. Can’t a cousin come and visit every now and then?”

“Yea, if we lived right across the street from each other. Not right across the ocean, and why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” he asks suspiciously.

“Ryan, are you gonna just yell at me instead of having a nice time?” I remark.

He thinks for a while and then smiles and hugs me, “I’ve missed you a lot too Soph. So, how’ve you been?”

I plaster a fake smile, “Good. And you”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re hiding something from me?” he asks.

“Maybe it’s cuz I’m tired, long flight.” before he can continue his interrogation, there is a knock on the door. He walks to the door while I take a seat on the couch. I hear him arguing with someone, “Ryan, who is-”

“It’s me.”

I get up, “What are you doing here?”

“What the hell happened at the hospital Sophia?” he seethes.

“Hey, you’re not gonna come in here and talk to her like that.” Ryan reprimands. He turns to me. “And what is he talking about Soph? When did you go to the hospital?”

I look at Ryan, “Please leave us alone. I need to talk to him and I swear I’ll tell you everything later.”

He looks at me and his features soften, “Ok, I’m off to work and Sophia, we will talk about this.” he comes over and gives me a kiss on my forehead. “And you, I better not come back and find her crying.” he threatens and then grabs his things and leaves.

“What happened Sophia?”

“Niall, I’m sorry. I fucked up everything. I-”

“Tell me what happened? Is it true what Louis said? Are you really going out with Jay?”

“Yes. And that’s what I- I never wanted to hurt Zayn-”

“No, Sophia, that’s bullshit! I saw the way you guys came in to the flat, you were happy. If you really had a boyfriend, you wouldn’t have done that. And why the sudden change right after you came out of Perrie’s room?” he questions me.

I turn around so he doesn’t see my faltering act, “Niall stop asking me all this. I am with Jay and if things worked out between Zayn and I, then I was going to tell Jay and-”

He forcefully turns me around. “Bullshit! Why are you really doing this? What did Perrie tell you?”

“Niall!” I struggle with him and give up when I know it’s useless, “She didn’t tell me anything, I decided to do this and I have to own up to all that I have done. I lied to Zayn and I lied to all of you and for that I am sorry.”

“Do you know why they are no longer together? Do you?” he all but yells.

I shake my head, “That’s none of my business, I-”

“Well you’re gonna know now. She-”

A loud bang on the door abruptly stops our conversation. “Sophia, open the door.”

I look at Niall and he slowly releases his grip on me. I walk to the door and open it, “Hi Jay…and all you guys.”

“Are you alright? We heard some yells coming from here.” he looks at Niall, “Hey mate.”

Niall doesn’t respond and I look at the guys. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Niall, they came to see me. We are done talking so if you’ll please leave, that would be lovely.” his eyes pierce mine and he remains silent.

“You heard her mate,” Max tells him. They all walk in and leave the door wide open.

Niall ignores them again, “We’ll talk later.” he says as he storms out. I close my eyes and wince when I hear the door slam.

“What did he want?”

“I don’t know Jay.” I mutter. “So what are you guys doing here?”

“I told the lads that you were sad and we want to take you out Downtown.”

“Jay, guys, that’s really sweet but I don’t want to be chased around by a mob of fans and definitely not the paparazzi.” I slump back on the couch.

“C’mon Soph, it’ll be fun. Plus, we’ll have security around so no one will bother us.” Tom says with a big smile. They all start talking at once trying to convince me.

“Fine, fine. Just let me get ready.” I concede.

“Lads, would you mind waiting outside in the van? I need to talk to Sophia.” Jay tells them. They all nod and head out.

“What’s wrong Jay?”

He starts pacing around, “Sophia…there’s no easy way to say this.”

I shake my head in confusion, “Say what? What’s wrong?” I ask, feeling panic all of a sudden.

He reaches into his back pockets and pulls out a white envelope. “We found this outside your room.”

I take it from his hands and slowly open it. I read at it and drop immediately after. “Why are they doing this to me?” I close my eyes and fist my hands in my hair as Jay hugs me. “Why? Why me?”

—

enjoy lovelys! xx

sorry for any and all mistakes.