Broken Inside

9 - The Unexpected

Alex had taken a long shower that morning, staying under the hot gushing water as long as she could. She wished the bad memory from the night before would wash away but they stick to her like a bad haircut. 

She stayed in her room that morning, sorting through her things. The contents of her backpack was spread out on her bed. She was sitting cross-legged with her back supported with a pillow against the headboard. She needed a distraction and this was the only thing that she could think of. She was looking through some old receipts when there was a soft knock on her door.

"It's open," she called out.

The door swung open slowly and Jesse peered his head inside, to Alex's surprise. "Can I come in?" he asked tentatively.

Alex nodded and he entered, closing the door behind him. He remained standing by the door, looking unsure, his hands stuffed deep inside his jeans pocket. Alex watched him warily, waiting for him to speak first.

Jesse cleared his throat. "How are you feeling?" he asked softly. From his tone and the look on his face, Alex could tell that he was genuinely concerned.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around it. "Fine," she replied briefly. Jesse nodded and he continued watching her, his eyebrows knitted tightly with worry. Alex sighed and added, "A little sore, but I'm fine."

She hoped by saying that, he would be less worried, but Jesse's expression didn't change. Alex could almost hear his brain turning, possibly trying to figure out what to say next. So she continued with what she was doing before, and left him to his thoughts.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?" he blurted out suddenly.

Alex dropped the receipts on her bed and glared at him. "I tried to tell you but you weren't listening."

He looked angry now. "When?" he asked, "When did you try to tell me?"

She looked away and crossed her arms tightly. "During," she replied briskly.

Jesse snorted and then chuckled in disbelieve. He crossed his arms and started pacing in front of the door, shaking his head. 

Alex exhaled impatiently and asked, "Why are you angry?"

"Because it was your fucking first time!" Jesse suddenly yelled, causing Alex to jump. Seeing her reaction, Jesse gritted his teeth and turned away from her. He took a few deep breaths and rubbed his face hard to calm down. 

Alex watched him. Even from behind, the visible muscles under his tight t-shirt looked tensed. She pulled up her knees again and rested her chin there, looking down at her bare feet. She sighed deeply. "Why does it matter?" she asked softly.

Jesse spun around and loudly said, "It mattered because-"

He paused. Alex peered up at him through her lashes, wondering why he stopped. He was looking at her. His expression a mix of emotions.

He swallowed hard and sighed, before he continued in a softer tone, "Because if I knew, I would've... I could have been more gentle." 

Alex could hear the remorse in his voice. So that's why he's angry, she thought. Alex climbed off her bed and stood in front of him. She looked into his eyes and smiled weakly. "Last night was not ideal, but we both wanted it and I made that decision, you didn't force me," she told him softly. She took a deep breath, straightened up and smiled a little wider. "And like I said, I'm fine."

Jesse looked at her apprehensively at first. She smiled at him reassuringly and slowly, his brows relaxed. He raised his hand slowly, gauging her reaction, before he tenderly run the back of his fingers against her cheeks. He raised her chin and made a move to kiss her, but the beeping of her pager distracted them both. 

She turned away from him and picked up the pager from her dressing table. My first job. She quickly headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Jesse asked her.

"I need to make a call."

"Where's your phone?" he asked her.

Alex paused, with her hand on the doorknob. How does she tell him that she couldn't afford one? He will ask more questions, which she was not ready to answer.

Jesse noticed her hesitation. He grabbed his phone from his back pocket and offered it to her. "Here, use mine."

Alex looked over her shoulder at the proffered phone. She glanced up at Jesse's face and he smiled encouragingly. She took the phone and dialled the number that paged her. 

"Hello. I got a page. What do I-"

"Yeah, you got a piece of paper?" the man at the other end of the call said impatiently.

Alex looked up and Jesse was handing her a notepad and a pen. He grinned knowingly. She took it and replied to the man, "Yes."

"Come to this address at noon sharp," the man said and read out an address to her. "You got it?"

"Yes. Th-"

Before she could finish, the man hung up. She handed the phone back to Jesse. 

He took the notepad from her and looked at the address. "I'm headed downtown too. We can share a cab," he proposed. 

Alex smiled and nodded in agreement.

"Okey, I'll meet you in the hall in 20 minutes." Jesse walked passed her towards the door. He paused and looked at her. She raised her eyebrows questioningly. 

Jesse leaned in and kissed her, to her surprise. She kissed him back, savouring the taste of his warm, full lips on hers. The same scent of sandalwood enveloped her, minus the smell of weed. She felt the same electricity, like she felt last night. Their attractions and chemistry was undeniable. 

Jesse pulled away first and breathlessly said, "You need to get ready." Then he grinned and left her room.

*****

Five minutes to noon, they arrived at the location. To Alex's surprise, Jesse paid the driver and walked up to the door with her. 

"Okay, just listen to everything they say and do whatever they ask you to do. Don't complain, don't sulk. These things can be rough so you need to buckle up," Jesse quickly explained to her.

She chuckled and nodded her head. "Got it, thank you."

"Here," Jesse handed her a piece of paper, "Call me when you're done."

Alex took the paper and pocketed it. She smiled at him and said, "I'll be fine. I'll meet you back at the apartment later, okay?" Then she walked in through the glass door.

Jesse waited for a few seconds before walking away.