Broken Inside

39 - The Big Step

On Saturday morning, Alex moped around on the sofa, running the events of the previous night over and over again in her head. Even the memory of Zack's touch on her body was sending tingles down her spine and her belly clutched with need. How can one person affect her so much?

She wondered how long it took for Zack to realise she was gone. He probably didn't even noticed. She hated herself for losing control and falling into his seductive charms.

Spurred by anger, she stomped to her room and pulled down the luggages from her closet. She picked up her clothes from the rod and tossed it on her bed. There was no better time to get away from New York. She felt more certain than ever that it was the right decision to move to London. 

Having made up her mind, she started sorting through her clothes, deciding what to bring with her and what to leave behind.

*****

The night before she was due to leave for London, Alex invited Ethan and Neesha for an adult sleepover. They wanted to send her to the airport but her flight was very early in the morning. So to ease the logistics, they decided to spend the night at Alex's apartment so that they can send her off at the airport in the morning. 

They were lounging about in the living room. Alex had laid down all her pillows and comforters on the floor, and she and Neesha were lying on their bellies, drinking Margarita while flipping through British Vogue. Ethan was on the sofa, eating pizzas with both hands.

"Look at this one," Neesha said, showing Alex a picture of Victoria Beckham in a leather trench coat. "You should definitely wear something like this."

Alex chuckled and said, "It's too early for trench coat. And I can't pull off Victoria Beckham!"

"Of course, you can!" Ethan exclaimed. 

They laughed and Alex turned back to her magazine.

"You know what I'm most jealous about?" Ethan asked with his mouth full of pizza.

"What?"

"All those eligible British guys you get to date," Ethan said, exhaling deeply, "The Hughs, The Benedicts, The Colins."

Alex and Neesha looked at each other and chuckled. 

"Yeah, I need a break from guys. I just want to be by myself for awhile," Alex said, flipping through the pages.

"Honey, that thing with Andy was more than 6 months ago. Are you still hung up on that?" Neesha said to her sympathetically.

Alex cleared her throat and said awkwardly, "No, it's not about Andy."

Neesha and Ethan exchanged looks, then they both turned to Alex. "Then who is it about?" Ethan asked.

Alex shut her eyes and said, "Zack."

"Zack?" both Ethan and Neesha yelled, and Alex cringed. She knew they were going to react like that.

"What do you mean, Zack? I thought Zack was history?" Neesha asked in disbelieve.

Alex shut her magazine and sat up straight. She looked at her bestfriends guiltily. "I saw him a few days ago."

"Where?" Ethan asked.

"At that art gallery. I didn't know he was going to be there, otherwise I would have stayed away."

Neesha sat on the floor with her back against the sofa. "Then what happened?"

Alex sighed deeply and told them in details about what happened with Zack in the backroom of that gallery. When she was done, Neesha was gaping at her speechless. Ethan had a pizza just hanging from his mouth. 

Alex got up and said, "I'm gonna make another batch of Margarita." Then she headed to the kitchen.

She returned to the living room a few minutes later. Ethan was still in the same frozen state. Neesha was looking troubled.

"Don't worry about it, I'll never see him again anyway," Alex said to them. She plopped down on a pillow and made her point, "So that's why I'm staying away from guys for now." Alex sipped her Margarita and noticed that Neesha was restless. "Neesh, what's wrong?"

Neesha looked at her and groaned loudly. "I really hate this but I don't think I have a choice," she said exasperatedly. She sighed and said, "Zack has been asking about you. A lot."

Alex frowned. "When?"

"Since you moved the first time," Neesha replied, smacking her lips. "He begged me for your new number but I never gave it to him. Then, he started asking again a few days ago. Now I know why," Neesha said narrowing her eyes.

Alex chuckled and mouthed sorry. She sipped her cocktail and shook her head. "I don't know what's wrong with me. The moment he touched me or stand too close to me, I lose all common sense," Alex took a big gulp and added, "Not to mention how wild he is in the sack."

Ethan's eyes light up and he said, "Do pray tell."

So Alex did. She told them all the crazy sex she had with Zack when she was with him. She held nothing back. Ethan kept making squealing noises and Neesha just looked super impressed. 

Alex finished her drink and said to them, "But of course, all that ended when I caught him in bed with his bestfriend's girlfriend."

"Have you even talked to him about that?" Neesha asked, drinking her cocktail.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Have you been listening? It's impossible to talk to Zack. He flashed me that dimpled smile and my panties drop to the floor."

"But you'll never get closure. Are you okay with that?" Neesha asked her.

Alex sighed and said, "I don't really have a choice, do I?"

The three of them looked at each other and smiled.

*****

Early the next morning, they loaded Alex's things into a cab and rode to the airport. To Alex's surprise, she got bumped up to First Class during check in. When she told Ethan and Neesha, they were surprised too.

"So, you want to go in right now? I mean, I've heard the stories about First Class Lounges. They are awesome!" Ethan said enthusiastically. 

Alex chuckled. "You know what would be more awesome? To have breakfast with my bestfriends before I move 3000 miles away from them," she said and wrapped her arms around Ethan's and Neesha's arms. "So, breakfast? I'm buying."

So they went to Starbucks. As they were sitting around, eating their breakfast, Neesha spoke up. "I hate to bring this up, but," she sighed and asked, "Do you want me to tell Zack anything?"

Alex thought about it for a few seconds. "Yeah, you should just tell him I moved to London."

Neesha exchanged looks with Ethan. Then she looked at Alex and asked, "Anything else?"

"No," Alex said firmly.

Half an hour later, it was time for Alex to go. She hugged Ethan first. "I'm gonna miss you so much. I'm gonna miss our lunches. I'm gonna miss talking to you."

"Bitch, if you don't FaceTime me at least once a week, I'm gonna hunt you down," Ethan threatened her jokingly and Alex chuckled. He kissed her cheek as they pulled away.

Then Alex hugged Neesha. "I'll miss you. I'll never find another friend like you."

"Of course you will," Neesha said, "You just need to spread your wings and fly!"

"Okay, I won't spread my legs," Alex said and they burst out laughing. They kissed each others cheeks and Alex said to her, "Kiss Devan and Raj for me."

Alex turned around and headed to security clearance. She glanced over her shoulder for a last look at her bestfriends and smiled. She has been so lucky to have them.

Now it's time to create her own luck.