REDAMANCY [d.m.]

Chapter Thirty-Four: Recovering

Elaine couldn't help but think these holliday were going to be boring. Normally, during this time she would feel naturally happier, jollier. But this year it seems quiet different. It seemed oddly strange.

As she grew, she noticed her hope for christmas diminished. However she always had that little joy, not this year tho. She couldn't help but be sad? There was nothing to look up to. Her life was a mess and clearly not organized.

She used christmas as an excused to sort herself out, and leave from the grasp of Voldemort. With the horrible dreams she's been having about him, she hated him. She hated him so much and what he's done to other people.

She was so ashamed to be his daughter. She always had constant guilt when she's with Harry. It isn't her fault, but he's related to her. Her father hurt one of her closet friends and she hated him. She hated Voldemort so much.

He destroyed her entire life, her self esteem, her hope. She had nothing going for her. She pushed everyone away, she isn't capable of love. How could she? Her life always went wrong, it was her destiny.

Now, she was nervous as hell again. Her palms were drenched for the second time that week, and she was being pushed. The twins whispered in her ear that she'll be ok and that she needed to do this, but she was tired.

The golden trio were so important to her, but she's scared she'll hurt them. She's scared she will do them bad like everyone else in her life. She couldn't afford to put them through that.

"Please don't let me do this. They hate me" She whispered. "No they don't" George said while pushing her toward the trio. "Especially Ron.." Elaine said once again.

The twins suddenly stopped and grabbed her by the shoulder. "Elaine.. our little brother is very stupid. And that night he was drunk. He regrets so much what he said to you. He's been ranting about how he hasn't talked to you because he knows you hate him. please, if anything, you should hate him" Fred said with a serious tone.

"Ron isn't the best person some times, but i promise he didn't mean it. Now, he also isn't the most easy person. He's stubborn, if you don't go up to him first, he'll never come up to you." George said rolling his eyes.

"But guys i just can't h-" Elaine was saying but was interrupted. "No no excuses" George said still pushing her, once they were close enough for the trio to notice them, the twins said together, "Now go!".

She rolled her eyes and carefully made her way towards the trio. She stood in front of them, and all she managed to say was "hi". They all stood their awkwardly and said "Hello".

"I'm so sorry. I really missed you guys." Elaine answered honestly. The room filled with realized faces and they all said they missed her too. She hugged Harry and he said "We've really missed you Elaine" while Elaine agreed.

Then, she moved on too Hermione and gave her a bone wrenching hug. "Mionie' look im so sorry that i left like that.. especially on your birthday" Elaine said with embarrassment. Hermione looked at her in the eye and spoke.

"Look, don't be sorry ok? after that, it was 100 percent understandable. I'm just happy you had time to cope and come back to us. We really missed your presence." Hermione said pulling away from their hug.

Then, was the hardest. Ron. After that night, she felt destroyed. She was heartbroken. She tried to convince herself her didn't mean it. She spend so many nights crying about what she did wrong. What could have made him think she was such a whore?

It wasn't until, she realized the truth that she found the way to forgive him. She though she would never forgive him, but here she was. She realized that she loved Ron, but she wasn't "in love" with him.