Moon and Stars

fourty

The days merged together in the rundown inn, and Aurora was struggling to differentiate between them. She would wake up, stay in bed until housekeeping came, and only then would she go downstairs to grab a drink or two, before coming back up to bed.

Hogwarts wasn't even a thought in her mind, but she knew she would have to go. That could be just the thing needed to get her out of her thoughts.

Every day, she thinks about Fred, and how he's doing. It hurts her to not know what's going on with him, after all she's known for her entire life. He was her best friend, and she messed up.

Three knocks pounded on her door, signaling the housekeeper was here, so she dragged herself from her bed and slid on her pair of slippers, opening the door and leaving as the housekeeper went in. They never share any words, but Aurora always makes sure to leave a tip behind, and it's always gone when she returns, so at least they have that.

The stairs creaked beneath her as she walked down to the bar in a hazy state, not fully awake, but the bartender was used to this by now. Aurora had been down every morning to get the same drinks over and over again, so when she got there this morning, it was already on the counter.

She mumbled her thanks and sat down in a stool, taking the glass in her hand and taking a large gulp, the familiar burning sensation warming her insides. Aurora knew that she was probably growing a dependence on that warming sensation, but it masked the pain she dealt with in her dreams, and she was okay with a little liquid courage.

The truth was she was an absolute mess. She looked as if she hadn't seen sunlight in years, and she had thinned over the past month more than she had in her entire life. Her eyes didn't hold that familiar glow that they once had, and she couldn't even remember the last time she smiled.

Her eyes drifted across the various papers hung on the walls of the bar, and her eyes landed on a newspaper sitting on the bar counter, stating that the holidays were approaching rapidly, and the Hogwarts students would be returning home soon. She didn't bother to pick up the page to read it any further, but she continued to look at it from a distance as she finished her glass.

She had to go, and as much as she didn't want to right now, it was the only time left. She no longer had work holding her back according to Fred, so there was nothing stopping her anymore.

Aurora pulled some money from her pocket and placed it on the counter before scooting out of the chair, slumping back up the stairs to her room. The housekeeper had made her bed and straightened her things for her, so she didn't have to worry about an accumulating mess around her, which was a positive amongst all the other negatives in her life.

The little positives are all she had to hold on to in the mean time.

She was numbed after her drinks, and she walked to the bathroom slowly, taking a hard look at herself in the mirror. The way her hair lost it's shine, the way her dark circles only darkened over the days, and the way her lips were not as soft as they used to be—she was disgusted with herself.

Aurora wasn't weak; she had been strong all her life, and it was embarrassing to see herself like she was. She was in a mental battle to fix herself, because she hated being so let go, but in the same breath, she had barely any strength to brush her own teeth, and she often forgot such a common thing. It was a shame.

She was becoming depressed, and that was one issue she didn't want to return to. She had her struggles through schooling, and it only makes things harder.

The difference between years ago and now is that she had a reason so many years ago, and now it was purely her fault. She missed Fred dearly, and it tore her heartstrings to know that she hurt him. She probably felt like he did when he found out.