Is this love?

Chapter 35

*LUKES POV*

"Luke," A voice says in the distance, as something shakes me.

"Go away," I mumble, trying to push them off, until a sharp pain across the side of my face jolts me from my sleep, and I open my eyes to find Daisy sitting on the bed, tears streaming down her face. I sit up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "What's wrong Daisy? Did you have a nightmare again?"

She looks up at me, well more like glares, but when she speaks, her usually gentle voice, cracks. "Ashleys gone."

"WHAT?" Bo and I yell at the same time.

I turn in the direction of Bos bed, to find him sitting straight up, staring at Daisy, disbelief written on his face. It would seem, my cousin and I have something in common at the moment.

"She left some time this morning," Daisy says, wiping her eyes. She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out a sheet of paper, holding it out to me. "She wrote this, for you."

I take it, opening it quickly, while also doing my best not to rip the paper.

'Luke,
I'm sorry to have to do this, but I need to leave. It's better this way. Now Bo won't have to be jealous, and we can get this pain over with sooner rather than later. As you probably know, I am...uh...breaking up with you. I'm really sorry to have to cause you so much pain. I honestly hate myself because of it. Please don't linger over me, I want you to be happy, even if its with someone else.
Please don't think I don't love you. I do, I really do, but I feel like I've caused too much trouble as it is. Sooner or later boss would be back, and would try to get me to work at the Boars nest again. Despite how much I would love to work at the same place as daisy, I just couldn't do it.
I love you, so very much.
-Ash'

A single tear rolled down my cheek, but I wiped it away before Bo or Daisy could see. So Ash left because she felt she caused too much trouble? If only she knew how much joy she brought us all. Even Bo, who was extremely jealous, couldn't help but smile whenever she was around. Even if she and I were being all lovey dovey, he would still watch her with a smile.
'Please don't linger over me, I want you to be happy'

How am I supposed to move on from her? I've been in love with her for the past 6 years, and when I finally get her, she leaves. I can't just forget her. I love her. I love her soo much I can't stand it. When she told me she loved me, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world. Now, I can't feel that way. The love of my life is gone, and it doesnt sound like she's coming back any time soon.

*BOS POV*

"Bo?" Daisy asks, crossing the room over to my bed and sitting on the edge.

I look up at her, feeling my heart breaking into a million pieces. How could Ashley just up and leave us like that? What possessed her to leave us when she just got back? "Yeah?"

"She wrote a letter for you to," Daisy says, handing me a rolled up sheet of paper.

I take it and stare at it for a moment, debating whether or not I should open it. I'm not sure I want to know whats inside this letter. What if she blames me for making her leave, because of my jealousy? I told her I was happy for her and Luke, which is true, but a small part of me just wanted to rip my cousin apart piece by piece. The only problem, he would beat me in a heartbeat.

I sigh and slowly roll the parchment open, to see her messy, yet neat handwriting.
'Bo,
Hey bosykins. I'm so sorry for having to leave, but I don't want to come between you and Luke. You guys are like the best of friends, and me being there was only ruining the friendship between you two. Not to mention, Daisy and Uncle Jesse were suffering from it too. Constantly having to stop you two from killing each other.
Please don't think I blame you for any of this. It's my selfishness that caused it. I couldn't figure out which of you I wanted to call my own, and I failed to notice that I was literally tearing your family apart, and I'm sorry for that. I wish I hadn't gone back, that eat none of this would have happened.
Just know this, when I tell you I love you, I mean it. I do love you Bo. You're like the brother I never got to have, and please know that we could never be more than that, despite how much I craved your lips on mine. I'll admit, it did feel right for about a minute. But I love Luke, the same way you love me. I've already written him a letter, explaining the situation to him. Before you go thinking I'm going to try a long distance relationship with him, its not going to happen. I broke up with him in that letter, and let me tell you it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm not going to give away my whereabouts. Even though I trust you, you are my best friend (guy friend that is. Daisy is my best friend) and I love you as such, but my location has to be kept a secret, so this may be the last time you ever hear from me. Don't take that as me saying I hate you. There's no way I could hate you. That's not even a possibility. I love you, and Daisy and Uncle Jesse and Luke. Never forget that. Please.
-Ash'

Tear drops covered the page, as though she were crying while writing this. Hell, I'm crying while reading it. I can't believe how selfish I was being. I was coming between my best friend, and my cousin. Ashley says she was being selfish, but she was being anything but selfish. Trying to hide the fact that she was breaking inside from my constant butting into her and Lukes romance time.

I pull my legs up to my chest and cover my head with my hands, frustrated at my own behavior. She may not blame me for her leaving, but that doesn't mean I can't blame myself.

I now realize that my emotions have been lying to me, and by reading her letter I now know that I am and was never in love with her. The only love I felt for her was that of an older brother. A very protective older brother, who wants nothing more than to keep his sister safe. And I've failed. She's not safe any longer. She's out in the world, who knows where, having to do who knows what. And I never tried to stop her.

A/N
There ya have it. Bo and Lukes reactions to Ashley leaving. Idk about yall but I got a little misty eyed writing that. I'm sorry for the suckish writing. I'm like half asleep right now. It's funny, I do most of my writing when I'm half awake/ half asleep. I'm weird.
Alright. I hope yall liked chapter 35. Chapter 36 will be up....eventually. :)
-JenHoranCliffordDuke