Pushing Up Daisies

Chapter 27 : It's probably Better Off this Way

KIM BONA

So I'm back to Korea again, I actually have arrived here two days ago and already got a flight back to New York. It's today.
This is crazy and stupidly reckless. I get the feeling like I was born and raised by the greedy people who are completely selfish and highly pride. Both of my parents are in jails, and even my actual dad isn't that prisoner, but he is also a monster for me. Perhaps I might be like them too—a disgusting monster.

Beyond what I ever expected at all. My mom is the head of the drug dealer and she's been doing this behind the spotlight for years. Honestly, I'm not that too much shocked since I've sensed something strange for a while about her involving this kind of stuff. But I never get an idea that she hugely controlled everything of drugs and weeds like this before, especially she's been trying to use this to claim T.O.P's family. Even she didn't get successful, and got a karma for what she did—being arrested at least for five years. I still can't believe that this is real. That this is actually happening to me. I admit, she and I haven't been close that much, and she doesn't hover about my life as she should do. But she's still my mother. I have an only mother. I can't pretend it doesn't bother me when it totally does.

"Why'd you have to do this? Why did you have to hit and run?" I asked through the glass window of the visiting room at the central prison. Seeing her in the orange prison uniform and being handcuffed like Dad so much kills me as hell.

"I did what I supposed to do. That family ruined my life," she rawly replied. I saw her fists clenched and unclenched.

"Don't you at least realize that you pulled yourself into where you get here, too?"

"Yea...you're kinda right," she said through her teeth. "Because I had you and I kept you, that worst decision is the reason why I get here." Occasionally, she seemed a bit regret when we went to silence for two minutes straight m, but she didn't even correct anything. As if she was saying the unfixed fact.

I was completely speechless. Feeling like I was born to ruin everybody's lives. Sometimes I am so tired of being me, too. I wasn't even supposed to live in this world.

"I'm so sorry, Mom. You should've destroyed me. It's pretty all my faults," I said through tears, really meant it.

She didn't talk to me that much, as if she didn't expect me to meet her in the first place. Then she replied, so coldly, "Don't worry about me. Go get your life as you've dreamed of and don't come back here. You should realize that I did so many things to make you get back there easily." And she briefly spit about what she did to Thomas and GD before she was pulled out of the visiting room.

Now it all makes sense for me. I have been such a fool for everything for a long time. Thomas creeped back into my life and handed me a huge opportunity isn't a coincidence. It's what my mom made him do this to me. And another fact about that night, the one that GD stormed out and kicked me out of his apartment out of the blue.

All of Mom.

And all of me.

And it's like everybody is cleaver to know everything so easily at first except me. I am such a stupid twat, troublemaker ever. I can't even blame Mom. This is my fault, too. Honestly, couldn't Mom resist me to be born at the first place? This life isn't supposed to live, anyway.

"Dais. Let's eat something before you go to the airport. You haven't eaten anything since morning." GD kneels down in front of me while I'm sitting on a patio chair on his apartment's balcony. I quickly brush myself tears away.

"My Uber is about to go this hour, right?" I decide to change the subject and sniff.

He stares at me for a moment before nodding lamely. "Yeah, I guess so. Ahjumma is loading your suitcase to the van."