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third
you smiled as you take a look at the frames around your house, realizing.
"hell yeah, i still miss him," you muttered. you swallowed the tears away, its too waste of time to cry over someone who obviously doesn't feel the same.
after all this time, you still loved him.
its been years since your break up, why'd you still do?
"i am confirmed insane," you muttered once again, taking all the frames down. happy memories were memories after all.
flashback
"y/n," jongho calls for your attention and holds your hand. it was that time were you spend the night on a park where you just look at the amazing view. you smile at him and wait for him to continue, "i'm just really grateful for you, you know that?" he caresses you intertwined hands with his thumb.
"suddenly?" you chuckled, but your heart was beating faster than normal. it wasn't the first time jongho did this, but every time he did, he makes you feel like it was the first time.
"nothing.. just, it made me think how you were always there for me whenever i needed it, or when i'm happy or sad, you're there. i think its to the point where i feel safe around you," he smiles at you and tilts his head to take a better look at you. "more like.. home." he kisses your forehead and brings you closer.
"thank you," you mumble. "i'm thankful for a lot of things too. even though sometimes you pretend to be strong, i'm so glad i can read between the lines." you chuckle and burrow yourself more to him.
-
"you're leaving again?" you ask with a low voice, making jongho sigh.
"i need to practice, y/n." and he continued to pack his bag with clothes worth a week. you sighed too, letting him. you just stared at him with your arms crossed over your chest.
you understood that at first, you were happy for him because he was reaching for his dreams, and that when he already achieved it, he'll have time for you again.
it never crossed your mind he'll just be busier.. and that you'll grow distant.
your eyes started to form tears which made you sniff a little bit loud because there weren't anyone talking.
"why are you crying?" jongho asks, but he doesn't bat an eye on you.
"nothing," you reply, and then the conversation was already over.
"i'll get going." he passes by you without a single kiss nor hug, leaving you cold and hurt.
"its okay, i'm okay." you smile through the pain, making your tears drop to the floor.
-
"we need to break up." jongho starts and stares at you emotionless.
"w-what?" you were utterly shocked. for what now?
"y/n, if we're not going to, then i can't debut." he explains and looks down.
"i don't like to," your vice cracks, tears were already out of your eyes.
"y/n."
"then find another goddamn company, jongho. i can't lose you." you glared at him. you were asking him to stay through your eyes- begging desperately.
"y/n, you know i can't do that."
"hell yeah as much as you don't wanna do that, i don't want a break up too, jongho." you raised your voice, you were breaking and he wasn't even budging. you were too busy wit your blurred vision to see what he was really feeling.
"i need you to understand this, y/n. just.. let me go." you knew you lost. the moment he said that, you just sat back down, surrendering.
"..then i'll wait for you." you mumbled after a few minutes. you looked at him with eyes full of hope, but he too has already given up.
"i don't know about that.." jongho sighs and puckers his lips. "but thank you, and i'm sorry."
what kind of choice of words was that?
you were confused, but you let him leave you there. without you noticing, those practices he has 'packed' clothes for were already him leaving no clothes nor things inside your house.
end
you scoff, after all you were still waiting for him.
because that's what you said- promised.
you lay on the grass where jongho and you usually sit and have a talk in the park, no people around, only the sounds of the wind rushing to the trees filled your ears.
you look at the skies as if they'll give you an answer. later on becoming too bright, you close your eyes tight and for a few minutes let it.
standing up with a contented smile, you get your bag and turned on your heel,
to see the man you have loved for years wrapped around another's fingers.
it was a lie to say you didn't expect this. so you just stared at them, gripping the hem of your shirt, tears forming on your eyes, heart broken into many more pieces than before.
"home? bullshit," you mutter and watch them smile at each other, scoffing. even after his success in his debut, he didn't go back to you.
you may never know why, or how the relationship even ended, but you knew it wasn't soon that you were moving on.
i mean, he's choi jongho.
your eyebrows furrowed, wiping the tears away and turning your back on the couple. you were still that girl who wished him the best, even if it hurt you the most.
