VICIOUS

A failure. (85.)

''Why are you guys here anyway?'' I ask Bianca and Jake. ''Last time we were here, I shot that old lady. I assumed that it'd be closed by now. And you also told me you'd go your own ways, yet you're still together.'' 

Bianca shrugs and looks at Jake for an explanation. 

''We never left after we said goodbye,'' Jake tells me and I frown at his words. ''We know about Dean and Dean knows about us, so if we ever left this place, there would've always been people after us.'' Bianca nods, agreeing with him. 

''And since we figured out we actually had family, we agreed on keeping an eye out for you,'' Bianca explains. ''Because even though you're strong and independent, you still need help. Everyone does.'' 

Oh, boohoo, adorable family moment. I roll my eyes at their words. I don't need help. I will never need help. Asking for help just shows the world that you're weak. I've been alone since I was 16, so I'm pretty sure I can handle all of this shit when I'm 21. 

''I don't need help,'' I state. ''Never needed it.'' I stare at the table in front of me. ''And what do you mean with 'Dean knows about us'? You said that I shouldn't talk about you guys at Oblivion's place.'' 

Jake sighs. ''Because Dean wasn't only after you, but after the whole family,'' He explains to me. ''He despised Vicious. For a long time, the only goal he had was killing your parents. He always thought that Vicious would collapse if that happened.''

''But when you did it for him..'' Bianca says. ''He realized that barely anything happened to Vicious. He only saw that they had a new assassin. You.'' 

Jake places his arms on the table. ''And then he saw how much of a threat you actually are,'' He says. ''That's when he decided to make a whole file about you, and eventually the whole family.'' 

I shake my head. ''No, Brandon told me that he was the one who wanted a whole file about me.'' 

I could've seen it coming. Lies, lies, lies. The fucker has been telling me a bunch of lies, basically using me. 

''A lie,'' Bianca states and she shrugs. ''The file was all about you, your whole life was explained in it. Then they discovered that your mom still had family. Us.'' She points at Jake. 

''And then he made the whole file about us,'' Jake ends the story. ''The Humentro's.'' 

I immediately shake my head. ''Don't say that. It's embarrassing.'' 

He rolls his eyes at my words. 

Is it just me, or did the story just get even more complicated? I don't get it. Call me dumb, go ahead. But try being in the middle of this shit and try to kill the people that need to be killed, while the whole world lies to you. 

''So..'' I slowly say. ''Oblivion is also after you.. Because of me?'' 

It stays silent for a few seconds, but eventually Jake nods. 

''Sorry, kid,'' He says in a sad tone. 

I run my hand through my hair. Great. Fucking fantastic. This just proves that I can't believe anyone. 

I stretch out my arm and take out a napkin from the holder. From one of the pockets from my jacket, I take out a pen. I press the ink on the paper and begin to write. 

Dean's family is our biggest threat. Need to be killed for sake of our own lives. 

Brandon is a liar, needs to be executed. 

I look at the words I wrote for a moment and shove it Jake's way. He quickly reads it, nods and hands it over to Bianca, who also nods. 

''Look, this whole situation is pretty fucking complicated to me right now,'' I say. ''It's probably just me who doesn't understand, but I've gotten a lot of new information the past few weeks.. And I can't just handle it anymore. These are the people who need to be killed, right?'' 

I look at Bianca and Jake, who both nod. My breathing becomes heavier and I can feel tears burn behind my eyes. Why? No idea. I think it's just because I finally see how goddamn tired I actually am. 

I let out a deep breath, a trembling one. My eyes are fixed on the napkin. Three more murders. I'm sure I can do that. 

''Okay,'' I say. ''Then I'm going to figure out some plans to get rid of them. Meanwhile, you stay under the radar. They can't find you, okay?'' 

I don't look at them, but then feel a reassuring hand on my shoulder. 

''Taylor..?'' Bianca says in a soft tone. ''Look at me.'' 

I slowly lift my head up and look into her eyes. She looks worried. 

''We'll be fine, there's no need to worry about us,'' She says. 

I slowly shake my head. ''This is my fault. The least I could do is worry about my family.'' 

Fucking hell, I sound like a softie. I feel like I'm the typical soft girl who cries at everything. That's not the type of person I want to be right now. Definitely in times like this, I need to be tough, not afraid of anything. 

''Come on, we know how to save ourselves,'' Jake says. I get up from the chair and let out a frustrated sigh. ''We know exactly how to-'' 

''Don't you realize it?'' I interrupt him, raising my voice. ''Dean killed everyone. He is the one who made our life a living, fucking hell. And now he's after you and you.'' 

I point at Jake and Bianca. 

''Because that's exactly what he likes to do,'' I continue. ''Seeing me fucking SUFFER. Even when he's dead, he makes sure to ruin everything. I may be a cocky, petty, arrogant, cold fucking person, but that doesn't mean I don't care about the people around me.'' 

Tears burn behind my eyes, wanting to get out. Bianca stares at the table, Jake plays with his hands. I can hear Jake quietly chuckle. 

''You killed your own parents and hundreds of other people,'' He says. ''You never cared about anyone.'' 

My lips form a straight line on my face as I look at him. 

''Indeed, I don't care about the people I don't know,'' I say, partially agreeing with him. ''But why do you think I killed my fucking parents?! Because I enjoyed doing shit like that? No. Because I always knew I was going to end up here. No matter if they were dead or not, I'd always become a part of fucking Vicious. They just took me with them. From the moment my parents told me about it, I knew that I'd be a part of Vicious one day. So the least they could do is fucking pay for it.'' 

I run my hand through my hair again, feeling sick of this. ''For fucks sake, I didn't even know how to fire a gun when I executed them.'' 

''Fair,'' Bianca suddenly says. ''But there's no need in saying that it's your fault. You couldn't know that he was making a file about you and your life. Eventually, they'd discover us anyway.'' 

I shake my head, disagreeing with her. It might seem like that, but it's not. A lot of shit happened the past few months, all because of me. Again, my fault. 

''No,'' I say. ''Everything that has happened, is my fault. Simply because I thought it was a good idea to try and fix everything, which made it all worse. I tried and I failed. I tried again and then we got fucking bombed. Boom, Vicious is dead. Then I tried again and got stabbed, because why the fuck not?! And now I'm here, trying once again, thinking that everything is going well, yet I'm failing again.'' 

I don't know if any of my words make sense. I couldn't care less. You get me or you don't. I stare at the points of my shoes. 

''That might be a bit of an exaggeration,'' Bianca says, trying to make me feel better. I raise my head and look at her. 

''Everyone is dead because of me,'' I state. ''Because I couldn't fucking save Vicious. Because I couldn't come to terms with Oblivion. And I'm the one who's still walking around on this earth, not knowing what the fuck she has to do. I'm the one who was supposed to die, because I'm the one who fucked it all up. I'm a failure.'' 

I pause for a moment and it stays silent. My chest rises and falls, because I'm breathing heavily. I can't stay calm anymore. I simply can't. I feel like a mess, probably look like one too. Tears have actually started to roll over my cheeks and it's getting warm inside. 

I glance at their faces and part my lips to say one more thing, before I leave them alone. 

''A fucking failure.''