VICIOUS

Pain. (86.)

I sit down in the car and stare at the dark sky in front of me. I fucked it all up. Nowhere to go, no one to talk to. And it's all my fault.

I check the time and see that it's 12:30 AM. Maybe I should head back to Oblivion, pretend nothing happened. I'll probably just ignore Brandon, leaving him alone. That's for the best, I guess. 

Half an hour later I return at Oblivion's place. I park the car, get out of the vehicle and head back inside, my stuff in my hands. I'm tired and can't wait to fall asleep. But I already know I'll be laying awake tonight, thinking about everything, not being able to let things go. All of the shit that's happening right now is really tearing me apart and I can't handle it anymore. 

The napkin that I wrote on earlier is stuffed inside one of my pockets. Just like my notebook, no one can see it. It's for my eyes only. It'll only fuck things up if someone finds it. 

I walk through the dark towards the penthouse. Only the kitchen is lit up, the rest of the house is dark. I frown, but shake away any thoughts about Brandon being in danger. He definitely went to sleep. And I'm sure he can protect himself. 

I open the door and walk in. A crackling sound comes from underneath my shoe and I bow down to see what it is. 

Glass..

I frown again and look around the room, turning on the lights. 

I'm not lying when I say that it's one big mess. Shattered glass lies around the place, pools of liquid lie on the floor, chairs are laying on their sides. I keep looking around, shocked by the fact that someone destroyed the whole living room and kitchen.

My gaze stays focused on a crying mess on the floor. He hasn't looked up yet, but I already know it's Brandon.

He's sitting against the side of the couch. His knees against his forehead, his face looking at his lap. His arms are wrapped around his knees, making him look like some sort of ball. He mumbles something, but I can't hear what he says.

I slowly approach him, not really knowing what to do. I suck at handling situations like this, because I simply don't know how to comfort someone. I stand next to his side for a couple seconds, before I decide to sit down next to him, my legs stretched out in front of me. 

God.. What do I do now?

I feel that my hands are trembling and I have no clue why. I ignore it and eventually place my hand on his shoulder, trying to let him know that it's me and that I'm sitting next to him. He doesn't acknowledge my presence, keeping his head down. 

Ah, fuck it. I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. He finally moves and he let his head rest against my shoulder and we just sit there in silence. I look to the other side, staring out of the big window. 

I let out a deep breath, still clueless about what I'm doing. I'm not used to situations like this. I'm glad he's okay with me trying to hold him, but I don't know what else I can do. This is unlike me. Usually I leave people alone, not giving a fuck about their feelings. But now.. I don't know. It's weird. There's this feeling inside me that I want to fix his pain, while I should be hating him. 

"I shouldn't have said those words to you," He whispers out of nowhere. I turn my head in his direction, letting him go. He suddenly grabs my arms, wrapping them back around him.

"Everyone makes mistakes," I respond in a raspy voice. 

This doesn't mean that I'll forgive him for the things he has done and said to me. I'll never forgive him for that. 

But for now it's okay. 

For now we'll forget about that.