VICIOUS

The ball (14)

With Thomas by my side, we enter the Great Hall. Brandon almost immediately spots us in the crowds and he approaches us. He's wearing a suit, like every other man. With a glass filled with a shot of tequila in his hand, he greets us. 

''Great that you showed up tonight,'' He says. ''Oh wow, you're even wearing the dress I sent.'' He looks me up and down, taking in every detail about me. From my hair, to my little make up and then my dress and my figure in it.  

''I am,'' I say. ''So, this is it?'' I look around. With those words, I try to humble Brandon a little. He doesn't have to be so full of himself all the time. 

People are standing in small groups, talking with each other. A few people are getting something to eat at the buffet, some are standing at the small bar. The place is big. There's a stage at the other side of the room, where the band plays their classical music. I notice that some people are dancing with each other.  

''Yeah,'' Brandon responds. ''Go entertain yourselves, I am going to give a speech in 20 minutes.'' Then he's gone again. A servant passes by with a plate with drinks on it. I snatch one off of the plate and join Thomas again. 

''Do you want to do anything?'' I ask, while drinking the wine. We stand on the side, watching everyone. He has been looking at the dancing people for quite some time now. 

''Would you maybe like to dance?'' He asks and he looks at me. I almost choke on my drink. 

Ever since we got here, he's gotten more relaxed. It makes him more of a fun guy. Normally. he takes everything seriously and he can't smile. In the last two months I've seen him smile more than I had in the past few years. 

''I don't dance,'' I respond to his proposal. 

''I'm sure you can dance,'' He says. 

''I never said I couldn't dance, I said that I don't do it.'' I hand over my empty glass to another servant. 

''So... You actually can dance,'' he says with a smirk. 

''Are you challenging me?'' I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms. 

''Maybe I am,'' He says. ''But I'd say: let's find out which one of us is better at dancing.'' 

I hook my arm into his and we walk to the dancefloor. His right hand holds me by my waist, my left hand holds him by his shoulder. Our fingers are intertwined together. Our feet start moving and in a matter of seconds we are dancing together. 

This is one of the things on my list 'Shit that will never happen'. And somehow we are doing it anyway. It feels like I'm floating. Thomas never seemed the type that likes to dance, yet he's pretty good at it. When the music stops, we slowly stop dancing. 

''I have to admit, you are good at dancing,'' I say. I notice that I'm still holding his hand and I let it go. 

''You are too,'' He says. We both seem surprised that we can actually dance. And that we just did that together. 

Suddenly, Brandon tries to get everyone's attention. He's standing on stage, holding a microphone. 

''Ladies and gentlemen,'' He greets us. ''I'd like to get your attention.'' Almost everyone in the room turns their head to the stage. ''Tonight is an important night for us. As some of you might know, we bombed our enemy Vicious three years ago.'' 

I can feel Thomas coming closer. Our hands touch for a moment, but we both don't say a word about it. 

''That was a great triumph for us,'' Brandon continues. ''To destroy some of them even more, we took a few of their loved ones.'' 

The moment those words leave Brandon's mouth, I freeze. I knew this was coming, but I wasn't prepared for it. It still stings like an open wound that you're trying to clean. 

''We murdered their loved ones on camera,'' Brandon tells. ''This way we can remember it, but so can they.'' 

A big screen slowly slides down. A video starts playing on it. 

Oh, fuck no. Please, don't let it be what I think it's going to be. 

At first I don't recognize who it is, because it's someone I never got to know. A young woman. But after her screams and showing that they murdered her, that video disappears and another one starts playing. 

In the middle of the screen sits Ben, on a chair. Two people stand on his left and right, Brandon behind him, holding a gun against his head. I try to turn around, but it's packed. It's like the universe wants me to watch this video again. 

The first time I had to watch this video, I just stood there, devastated. I didn't know how to react and I tried to tell myself it was all a sick joke. But deep down I knew it was real. I knew that Ben would never return. Trying to move on from him is hard. Ben was my first love and the only person who knew almost everything about me. Letting a relationship like that go, will always be hard.

Thomas notices that I'm trying to get away and grabs my hand. I look at him and feel that I'm tearing up. 

''I can't do this,'' I whisper desperately. He shakes his head, like he understands me and pulls me in softly. I wrap an arm around him, place my forehead against his shoulder and close my eyes. 

Am I hugging the person I hate? Yes. 

But we danced together and the alcohol is starting to kick in. 

Unfortunately, I can't stop my hearing. I squeeze my eyes shut when Ben's shouting begins. First, he asks if he can call me to say goodbye. 

''Please, just give me a few minutes to say goodbye. That's all I'm asking you. Please.'' 

Then it's silent for three seconds. Then he shouts for help and I can hear him cry. 

I hold Thomas' hand even tighter than I already did. Ben's cries still hurt me. I couldn't save him and that's my own fault. His death will always be my fault.

Then a loud bang can be heard. You can hear his lifeless body fall to the floor. The moment several people start clapping, I let go of Thomas and push myself past everyone else. This is too much for me. I knew they were celebrating the bombing, but I didn't expect them to show these videos. I push people away, trying to get to the exit. 

 When I'm almost there, I look back, trying to see if someone follows me. But instead, I accidentally make eye contact with Brandon, who's still standing on stage. 

Then he does something that I'll never forgive him for. 

He smiles and starts clapping, looking me right in the eyes.