Sander and Robbe, Minute by Minute

Skatepark

"Oops!" Sander lost his balance and slipped, but Robbe caught him quickly before he fell down on his ass.

He chortled loudly, half in embarassment, "Wow, this is harder than it looks."

They were hanging out in the skatepark after school that day. Robbe had suggested and suprised Sander with it. Sander had asked him, how if they met the boys there, because they didn't know about them. Robbe had told him that they were making video somewhere else. His relationship with the boys was a bit tenuos right now, Robbe had asked for a break time from their vlog. When he asked him the reason, Robbe just said he was not in the mood for it at the moment.

It had just been three days, and none of Robbe's other friends knew about them. Yesterday, Robbe had apologetically told him that Zoe was about to get home and whether Sander could maybe left earlier, because it would be awkward and he didn't want to lie. Sander understood but he was still hurt by this. Robbe had apologized timidly and said that he just needed some time to come out to them. Sander sighed, kissed him and left after that.

Before they went through the park entrance, Sander had asked again, "Just hypotethically, if we met them, or they saw us or something, how did you want me to act?"

Robbe didn't say anything for a second, and then he shrugged, "Let them see. Maybe it's better, then I don't have to tell them."

Sander had smiled at that and gave him a quick reassuring hug. Now Robbe was teaching him how to skate, with Sander mostly tried not to embarass himself too much.

Robbe was laughing also but he patted him at the back softly, "You'll got the hang of it in no time. Trust your teacher."

Sander grinned, "Is there a shortcut Mr. Robbe?"

He stepped close to him and ran his left forefinger lightly down his lower arm, and murmured into his ear, "Could I maybe bribe the teacher?"

He felt Robbe shivered a bit from his touch and looked at the blush on his cheek. But he answered, "Maybe you can see me later and I can give you assignment for extra credit."

Sander laughed but he moved away from him and walked behind him, to sit on the wall overlooking the river. He liked it when Robbe surprised him like that, with his sudden boldness, but Sander didn't want to be too open in public, and had something happened, that would scared or pushed Robbe away again.

Robbe climbed up to sit next to him. They sat in comfortable silence, looking at the river and the buildings at the other side. Sander hummed softly, enjoying the afternoon.

Robbe's phone chimed and Sander glanced at him. Robbe was staring at his phone, his face had changed.

Sander moved closer to him, "What is it Robbe? Something happened?"

Robbe shook his head and slipped his phone back into his pocket. He sat for a while quietly, but Sander could sensed that he was gathering himself together, so Sander waited.

After a moment Robbe took a breath and said, "It was from my mom. My dad and my mom.. I mean my dad left us, they had been fighting a lot, and he left.."

This was not news to Sander because he already knew. He didn't say anything, just gently stroke Robbe's hand.

"There is something else.." Robbe trailed off, glanced at Sander's face and looked down quickly.

"Ya? It's okay Robbe.. You can tell me.." Sander said softly. "Or not, if you don't want to."

Robbe sighed and then seeming to make up his mind, he said rapidly in one breath, "My mom is in a psychiatric ward, her mental illness was why my dad left."

Robbe looked at him closely after the burst, like he was trying to read his reaction. He was scared.. If just he knew.

Sander looked at him and asked softly, "So, how is she now? Do you visit her there?"

Robbe peered at him again, but he relaxed after a moment and said sadly, "She is.. it still needs some time. It's been going on for months now and I visit her sometimes but it is just hard. Sometimes seeing her makes it harder.."

Sander listened quietly. Robbe voice shook when he said again, "It makes me feel guilty then, but it just.. That's part of the reason why I have such a hard time with us you know.."

Sander can't help but flinched. Robbe noticed it and said hurriedly, "No, sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean is with me, with my sexuality. It's not you Sander, not you."

Sander nodded, "I understand."

Sander circled his arm around Robbe's shoulders and hugged him close. Robbe leaned his head on his shoulder. Sander mind started went in a flurry. Robbe was so soft and kind, and he had a lot on his plate. He was sixteen. How could he possibly tell him about his illness? How could he put that on him? He will leave and Sander was scared of that. Or worse, that he would hurt him, frighten him. But Robbe had trusted him after such a short time. He knew it was not an easy thing for Robbe to open up like that.

Sander asked, "So, your dad left because of your mom?"

"It was part of the reason, but thing is we are never close, and I don't know.. they just fought a lot."

Sander said after a while, "My dad left us too you know.."

Robbe looked up at that. "Oh.. when was this?"

Sander looked at the distant, "When I was around thirteen. I always think it's my fault.. him leaving. I still don't know."

Robbe stroked his hair softly. Sander looked at him and they gazed at each other in shared understanding. Sander didn't want to think about it anymore, the thought of his father and his childhood was dangerous.

He smiled and said, "Let me listen to your music."

Robbe broke into a laugh at that, "That is very nice of you."

Sander shrugged smugly and joked, "Well, I can be nice when I want to. Bowie test is still coming though."

Robbe laughed and punched him lightly on his arm. "Do you have eh.."

Sander just remembered that Robbe only used headphones. "Let's use my earphones." He took them out, gave one to Robbe and hooked it up to his phone. Robbe started the songs and they listened to them quietly. Sander felt his mind started to slow down, and he focused to the boy next to him and the music flowing into his ear, finding Robbe in them, looking at the calm river. Sander assured himself, that as long as he took his medications (it more or less kept his moods under control), and be careful, everything would be fine.