Guns and Roses

L

Taeyong's POV.

We hoped out of the car when we reached the mansion. Nothing changed here, still the same massive residence, the only difference is that... it's not that lively as it used to be, since we're only five men living here.

I threw the keys back to Johnny. I was the one who drove back here, I don't want to get lost on my thoughts again so I volunteered. I was about to enter through the huge door when I heard something...

"did I just heard Jungwoo's shrill voice?" Jaehyun asked, voicing out my question. Johnny pushed the door and we got greeted by Jungwoo and Haechan standing in front of each other, seems like throwing a fit on each other. I narrowed my eyes at them in confusion.

why the hell are these two here?

"o-oh hi? surprise?" Haechan said awkwardly.

"surprise!? why are you here?!" Doyoung spat back. Before I could talk, Taeil came out from the kitchen and was followed by Mark carrying a pot.

"w-wait why is everyone here---"

"Taeyong" I was cut off when a soft voice called my name. I immediately turned to face the direction of the stairs where the voice came from. My tongue got tied and I couldn't utter a single word. I was left dumbfounded. "oh Taeyong" she said as she immediately went down the stairs and ran towards me.

I hugged her tightly like my life depends on her. She buried her face on my neck, hugging me tight as well.
Am I not dreaming right now? Is she in my arms again?... for real? Her shoulders started moving up and down, followed by her soft sobs. She's crying. I caressed her hair carefully. I can smell her familiar scent and it's driving me crazy again.

"how have you been, baby" I whispered, my voice cracked as I got enveloped by too much emotions as well. She hugged me even tighter leaving no space between our bodies.
"I-I missed you so damn much" I said.

"I-I'm sorry for a-always making you wait... Taeyong I'm so sorry baby...s-sorry" she apologized in between her uncontrollable sobs. It's breaking my heart seeing her like this, but I am feeling so ecstatic right now.

I loosened the hug and looked at her face. I wiped her tears lovingly.
God damn. I missed this woman so much. words won't be able to explain what I am feeling right now "it's okay Jia, please don't cry hmm?" tears won't stop streaming down her lovely face. "h-how are you now? i-is everything okay?" I asked worriedly, wondering why she's here so suddenly.

"I-I won't ever be okay there... anywhere... without y-you. I-I am missing you like hell every single day. I won't be fine there knowing that you're here waiting for m-me in pain" she said. I wanted to cry... but this time it's going to be pure happiness. All this time we're feeling the same way, and there I was pathetically worrying she'd forget me.
I am indeed a bastard.

"I love you" was all I could say. She held my cheeks and stared at me, I could see my reflection on her bright eyes and I've never seen such emotion on my face before.

She shook her head. "I love you more" she said as she tiptoed and gave me a peck. I held her nape as I stare at her beautiful face. My heart never ceased beating fast, it's hammering my chest and I'm pretty sure she could hear it already.

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers. It feels like time suddenly stopped as I kissed her. When she finally battled with my lips, everything goes oddly quiet. Feeling her soft lips moving against mine will always take away my sanity. My heart continued pounding in my chest as I deepened the kiss.

I know the boys are around and they are seeing this right now but I don't care about the surroundings anymore. All I could focus now is how soft her mouth felt against mine, how addictively she invaded all my senses.
I kept my eyes half open, sneaking a guilty peek at her every time I came back for air, just to make sure all of this wasn't just a product of my imagination.

My whole body tingled, the feel of her small frame leaning on mine as her arms wrapped around my nape felt nearly forbidden.

She pulled back out of air, and that's when the noise surrounding us became clearer.

"oh god the rooms are just upstairs!" Doyoung shouted.

"oh my eyes!!!" Johnny reacted as well.

"woah, what the heck did I just saw" Haechan blabbered.

"I love you so much Taeyong. I won't leave you... ever... again" Jia said. Her voice came out with full of assurance, and I can't help but fall for her even harder.

I was just wishing for all of this a while ago, and now... everything's happening. I can't believe some god up there actually care about me.

For all the things I've done before, I don't think I deserve--- not even an ounce of this much happiness my heart is currently carrying. I am beyond grateful for everyone up there who allowed me to meet Jia again.

Thank you so much for giving me this woman...

*****

Jia's POV.

I can't stop my tears as I held Taeyong's face. Finally, I am home.

They said home is where your heart should be at ease, but that's not where mine lives. His embrace is my home.

Spending those scary time without him felt like an absolute hell. I feel so alone being away from him. I was so terrified as I got to remember every single thing I have forgotten. I am beyond frustrated of myself for badly wanting to be with him and being scared of him, both at the same time.

I know the boys have thought of this a lot before separating us, and I am beyond grateful for their help. I know for a fact that they wanted nothing but the best for the both of us, resulting them to create such impulsive decision.

I spent 5 months in London, under a certain rehabilitation where the boys frequently visited me, juggling with their personal businesses there.

Taeyong never left my mind. I can see him everywhere I look, that I started to think I might develop another sickness. I am always hallucinating of seeing him on every corner of my room, and the next thing is that memories of terrifying past events will creep in again taking away my sane.

There was that time that I completely lost my mind, I kept on hearing voices at the back of my mind and it's driving be absolutely insane that I just want to end things so that I won't hear those scary voices again.

"Jia! what the hell!? put the knife down!" Jungwoo shouted. I trembled as his voice added fuel to the fire of tension that is currently going on inside me.

"J-Jungwoo... e-eotteoke..." I cried as my grip on the knife tightened. "I-I am hearing lots of t-things... I-I can't take it anymore..."

[eotteoke : what should I do]

Ofcourse, everything is hard at first. I thought I was crazy, but they kept on reminding me that I am not... which I refused to believe. During those times, I got stuck on the thought that something was wrong with my brain... that I forgot my heart...

who is also screaming in pain, begging to be saved.

One morning I woke up crying. I dreamt of Taeyong marrying another woman, and I was there... just watching. Well, I don't know what the fvck was that dream for and I strongly believe that dreams are not for real...

but that shit horrified me.

꧁ 𝖌𝖚𝖓𝖘 // 𝖗𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖘 ꧂