Something I thought of today. And because my friends actually think I'm funny.
So here you go.
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Random girl in Geography class: Sir, why would anyone want to be cremated?
Jason, who turns to her: Because it saves land.
Geography teacher: That's why.
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Tim: You know, back in my day, when TV was good-
Duke: You're 16....
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Young Barbara: I couldn't find you in the line.
Young Dick: Yeah, I got surrounded by a bunch of girls who wanted to ask me about the physics.
Young Dick: I guess you could say.... I was surrounded by estrogen.
Young Barbara:....... pfft-
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Cassandra: Stab Stab Stab Stab
Stephanie: Period cramps?
Cassandra: Yeah.
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Tim: What's up with him?
Dick: He's in pain and it's making him delirious.
Jason: You're all beautiful and I love you all!
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Female classmate: So you have the tech notes?
Tim, who didn't hear her properly: No, thank you.
Tim, turns to Duke when she leaves: I didn't hear her properly, so I though she said, "You have cancer"
Duke, trying not to laugh: So... if your actual doctor told you that you have cancer, you'll reply with, "No, thank you"?
Tim: I guess.
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Alfred: Your sandwich is abnormally flat, Master Dick.
Dick: ......This bread flat.....
Alfred: Oh no....
Dick: YEAST!
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English Teacher: Lord of The Flies shows us that children are cruel.
Young Jason: They sure are!
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Tim: *Sings Never Gonna Give You Up un-ironically*
Tim: *Recites poem he made based on Never Gonna Give You Up to class*
Tim: *Writes Never Gonna Give You Up in a notebook so he can memorize the song*
Duke: But why?
Tim: It's a good meme.
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Damien to random classmate: Frick off!
Damien: *flips them off*
Random classmate: Do you just point your pinky finger at me?
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Dick: Ouch! I bit my tongue!
Tim: Did you know that you can never chew your tongue or bite all the way through your tongue, because your brain tries to save you from dying?
Bruce: What have you been reading?
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Anyone: *mentions truly sad thing*
Damien, taking his father's advice to be nice:..... That's rough buddy.
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Damien: *doesn't get a pop culture reference*
Jon: *scandalized gasp*
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Cassandra: Knock knock
Bruce: Who's there?
Cassandra: Banana.
Bruce: Banana who?
Cassandra: Knock knock.
Bruce, confused: Who's there?
Cassandra: Banana.
Bruce: Banana who?
Cassandra: Knock knock
Bruce, annoyed: Who's there?
Cassandra: Banana.
Bruce: Banana who?
Cassandra: Knock knock.
Bruce:..... who's there?
Cassandra: Orange.
Bruce: Orange who?
Cassandra: Orange you glad I stopped saying banana?
Bruce:...... that was hilarious!
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Tim, randomly: So.... burning to death?
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It's so short because I can't remember all the things I have said in life.
But yes, I have said these things in public.
I might add more when I say other things or remember some more.
YOU ARE READING
Batfamily one shots
FanfictionOne shots, incorrect quotes and songfics with the batfamily. Come check it out. Requests are closed until further notice. No NSFW Hope you enjoy.
