Care to Command

9 Dad

Chapter 9

**

I am such a dumbass.

"What's wrong with me?" My question is met with the 2 AM silence, confirming that despite my efforts, I always end up alone.

No wonder Lucas hates me. No wonder my dad hates me. I'm just a weirdo with zero social skills. Just a calculator, a machine. No ability to function in settings. I'm in the opposite extremes. Acting either too uptight or too irrational. Middle is an unknown concept.

Lucas and I were finally getting along. I mean, hell, the guy was tolerating my tantrums just to calm me down, perhaps out of civil concern. And I just had to ask private questions, trigger him to shut down. Back to square one.

~

A rosy, midi-dress, with a side slit, a square neckline, and straps that tie into ribbons. Hair waved, sandals nude, and jewelry golden.

Good thing I have a wardrobe to hide the demons. And the louder they get, the better I dress. It's an armor, a fashion forward defense.

Or, on a more embarrassing level, I guess I just really hope to impress my dad. We haven't met in person for months, and I miss him. His smile, his attention, uninterrupted time for connection.

At 11:15 AM I arrive at the cafe for our 11:30 AM brunch, find the best spot by the window, where the sunlight peaks with just enough warmth to melt the tension, and people walk past in colorful clothes to inspire conversations.

Flight back to LA is at 5 PM, which gives me just a few hours to explore. Probably not with dad, but it's fine. When a flirtatious waiter sets down my cold brew, I pour the thick creamer, watch the bitterness get seized with white waves, turning into gold.

At 11:45 AM, my phone rings with Casey's caller ID.

"Hey, girl." I put on a fake smile for my friend, who's lounging with her poodle by the pool.

"Oh my! Look how gorgeous you are." She brings the phone closer, creating a goofy double chin. "Do you have a date or something?"

"I'm supposed to see my dad, but he's running a little late."

"Oh...are you ok?"

"Yeah! He'll show up. His assistant told me he's got nothing scheduled, so I'm sure he's just stuck in traffic."

"Hmm..." She presses her lips, hiding the thoughts I already know too well.

"Don't worry. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. How are you doing?"

"Alright, just enjoying my Sunday afternoon," she sings with a sneaky smirk, "planning my bestie's birthday."

"Oh my God, please don't. I thought we talked about this!"

"It's just a small gathering! Come on, what are sisters for? I want to celebrate the day you were born."

"What's the point of celebrating the fact that my parents had sex."

She rolls her eyes. "You're so boring, live a little."

"Sorry, it's just not a happy day for me." I shrug.

"Which is why you have me, and I'm going to do everything to change that."

My lips tug, and I chew the inside of my cheeks. "I love you."

"Love you too!"

"I'm getting another call, talk later, ok?" I hang up and answer the next call. "Hey, dad! I'm sitting in the left corner by the entrance." My eyes scan the open door to find the man in the most expensive suit.