Care to Command

44 Let Me In

Memories of my parents behind invisible walls swarm my mind as I drive to Lucas. Trying to get their attention, to make them smile, to make them okay. So that we can be okay.

Failing. Eventually growing up. Learning that being that way only hurts. Deciding to focus on power and success.

Because why worry about making others happy when I can have them worry about me? According to my parents, it's easier. These walls are necessary.

But not after Lucas. Whether on purpose or not, he has stripped that exhausting facade. Brought forward a softness that I forgot about. One that was shamed for being weak and futile.

And I'm not going back. I can't. This is me. Maybe I was born to be shredded to pieces. So that others take the parts that they're missing.

When I park my car on the dark and empty street, my nervous heart pounds as I reach the restaurant.

"Layla?" Fiona gasps, stepping out of a car that's hidden near the attached building.

"Hi..." I mumble, accepting her embrace.

"Why are you here..."

"Shushan told me he'd be here..."

"Hey Layla..." Lev calls from a larger car behind Fiona's. He's in the driver's seat with Ashton next to him and Kai in the back.

"Honey, he won't let you in." She says. "We'll keep an eye on him. You don't need to be here."

I turn and approach the restaurant, cup my eyes and press against the glass door. When my vision adjusts to the dark, cleaning supplies appear on the polished floors. Some scattered on the tables and counters.

Lucas steps out of the back room, in a white tank top that's stuck to his skin. Arms glistening in sweat, messy hair drenched. Expression desolate and disconnected.

My chest squeezes, calling for him. I knock, but he doesn't hear. I knock harder, getting his attention, but his surprise quickly switches into a narrow glare, shrinking me with doubt.

"Lucas." I say, knowing my voice is muffled. I wave for him to come close. He remains unmoving. Piercing with warning.

I pull out my phone and dial him, showing him the screen. He lifts his phone to his ear, not taking his eyes off of me.

"Just leave."

"Why? Why are you alone? Let me in."

"Leave. This isn't any of your business." He hangs up, tossing the phone on the counter.

"Rude ass bitch..." I kick the door, stabbing my toe.

"Layla, he can't let you in." Fiona softly calls, standing by her car. "There's more to this."

"Tell me why..." I walk up to her. "Or I'll throw my body against the glass door and break it."

She's taken aback. "It's... it's a long story..."

"Are you busy? Cause it seems like we're going to get ignored all night."

Fiona wraps her arms around herself and now I feel like shit.

"I'm sorry." I cover my face. "I'm so sorry, I don't mean to take it out on you."

"It's okay, it's a lot to process." She puts her arm around me and guides me to her car.

She hands me a tissue and I smell all kinds of food from the back. I look over my shoulder and notice bags of them.

"His dad wanted us to get together on this day..." Fiona follows my gaze. "Eat our favorite foods, laugh, remember the good times."