Care to Command

36 Proud

I bought new lingerie. It's blue. It's for Lucas.

And it's 7 AM right now. Technically I should be doing yoga. Or writing my to-do list. Not modeling in front of the mirror with a stupid smile on my face. Hair all wild and curly.

Picking up my phone, I want to take a sultry picture and text it to him, saying this is what I'll be wearing underneath my clothes. But when I unlock the screen, there's a notification that quickly shifts my mood.

A LinkedIn post from my dad. A picture of him with his mentee, wearing a bright smile with his hand on the young man's shoulder.

I'm so proud of Jonathan Riviera who's worked for me for the last three years and is now moving up. Congratulations on your achievements, son. You'll make a great leader.

"Son?" I chuckle, chewing my lip. "Wow..."

I take a deep breath, looking back in the mirror. A sad girl stares at me, forcing a smile on her face.

"Would it fucking kill you to say that to me?" I raise my eyebrow, voice thick and pathetic.

Scoffing, I turn away and take the lingerie off.

~

Work's busy. Meeting after meeting. Running around. Not having to think about my life, my feelings. Adrenaline and caffeine rush through my veins, masking the pain sulking beneath.

"Did you get my email?" Grant pops in my office with a smile that's too bright.

"No... " Nervousness kicks in as it usually does. I turn to my screen to find his name in my mailbox. My eyes go wide. "Oh."

"Mhm." He nods, turning more serious. "November 5th. 2 PM. You and Lucas will be separately reviewed. The VP will be announced to the team at Happy Hour right after."

Two weeks away. My skin vibrates with fear.

"Grant, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course." He's so corporate, so polite. I can't ever tell what he really thinks.

He steps in and closes the door. He takes a seat across from me with a deep breath, giving me the space to begin when I'm ready.

I clasp my hands on the desk. "What do you need to feel confident in giving me the role?"

He's stunned for a moment. "Well... the... the expectations are simple, Layla. The VP will head the team and the brand vision. Thinking big picture and working with me to expand."

I nod. This fancy language sounds great but doesn't feel concrete.

"And... do you feel confident that I can do that? If not, what can I do better?" I ask, knowing my eyes are pleading him for help. Help to glue the pieces together. I need this. I really need this. I don't know what I'll do if I get rejected.

"Look, Layla... " His voice takes a paternal tone. It conflicts me with yearning. "You're a strong employee, but this will be a board decision with a thorough evaluation. There's not much left that you can do."

"Sorry to interrupt. Grant, the client's waiting for you." Lucas pops in, oblivious of the tension.

The sight of him is like a visual embrace, cloaking trembling parts of me with warmth. I don't know whether I should cry or be happy about it. Too many men hold power over me in their own ways. It makes me feel weak.

"Give us a minute." Grant says, turning his head towards him. Lucas glances my way before closing the door.

Grant holds my gaze for a moment. "If you want my advice, I suggest you find pleasure in work. Leave your office once in a while. Smile at people. Ask them about their day."