moon [k.nj + k.sj]

76. m o m e n t s

(Warning: Mature Language)

Seokjin's point of view:

He banged the closed the door making me almost jump. He ignored me sitting in front and walked straight inside. 

Points to take down at moments like this, 1. He must be tired and frustrated from work, 2. He never and I repeat never takes out his anger or frustration on me though I have and am fucking guilty do and he happily takes it in, 3. He never really likes to talk it until late and calming him down is difficult, he ties himself around tightly, and opening him becomes difficult, 4. It hurts to see him like this.

I followed him grabbing his jacket and hanging it before loosening his tie and sitting in front of him. He did not want to look at me. He usually took a shower from work before coming here, with clean clothes but I could easily recognize that he had directly came from work. I sighed and stood up grabbing the extra pair of sweatshirt and trouser I had and folded it and kept it at the edge of the bed, with a towel. I left the room closing the door behind me. he needed some time alone before he is ready to open up. 

I wonder what happened, last time he was like this, he just opened up after eating, softly after the lights went off and it was dark and windy. 

I went around to get something for him to eat, it was late, around eleven and I did not have anything in store. It started to rain shortly after as I made some hot coffee, I for one thing know that he did not eat anything. I waited outside and placed  the food on a tray just like he liked it. After a while, I heard the door unlock. Making him eat, he wouldn't want to.

He was sitting on the couch, legs crossed and dryly staring at the window. Fuck it don't look so sad. I kept the tray on the table in front and sat down maintaining a bit of distance. Would not get closer till he wants to. He still was not looking, I know the there must be thousands of thoughts running through his mind. What was he thinking? What happened? 

"Namjoonie..." I said softly, he did not say anything, "Joonie, did you eat something?" I asked softly, he nodded a no, looking down now, I scooted closer, "Baby...have something...alright?" He did not say anything yet again  but his shoulders relaxed, I took the plate up, "Please?" 

After he finished eating, I washed the plates and went back to the room. He was sitting on the bed, his back against the wall on the bed. I went up on the bed, on my knees as I got closer to him, between his legs, slowly getting closer, he was soft and sensitive now, seeing him, someone who is not very open about his emotions, always being strong being soft and vulnerable and him being comfortable enough to reveal it to me was a different feeling than I could say. I cupped his face slowly making him look up at me, pressing my lips on his forehead. 

Slowly, I felt his arms wrapping around my arms, I sank down, hugging him by the neck. He liked to hug tight and cuddle closely, he always pulled me as close as possible wanting maximum skin contact and I liked it. He hand his face buried on my chest. I stroked his hair for a long while, making him relax and loosen down. 

We were face to face on bed, I wanted him to fall asleep, he did not speak a bit. We were spooning, I realized it was easier for him that way. His chest was against my back, his hands were around the waist holding me tightly, I had intertwined our fingers holding it over my tummy. His face was on the crook of my neck. I had curled my legs, with his curled up, thighs touching. 

I was softly singing to him, slowly, only for us to hear, he was letting himself  breath but soon...I heard sobbing. Was he...crying? I have never have him crying in front of me.