moon [k.nj + k.sj]

87. "I am doing it."

(Warning: Mature Language)

Third Person point of view:

i couldn't think of anything 🔒
@sskjjn
funny how i am still after this one guy who left me years ago and after who i went after to come up and stand here right now but then i hated him to the point where i fell for him but he rejected me but i just cant let him go because there is something about him which i know i wont find in anyone else.

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i couldn't think of anything 🔒
@sskjjn
why does being together seem such a huge thing to him? yoongi and hobi did it, tae and jimin did it, why not us? does having a fucked up 148IQ lead to thinking such a level where you become dumb? cant he see me hurting? does he think i cant see h i m hurting? what kind of 'logic' is this? 

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i couldn't think of anything 🔒
@sskjjn
at this point i am having to make a private to blurt about stuff. im going to lose all of it over this one fucker. great risk seokjin, you are making a complete clown of yourself. congratulations, listening to heartbreak songs and crying over the same song from three years back and now. once you couldn't get him and now you can but you cant because he is dumb. 

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This was getting monotonous and boring. Somethings Seokjin had but never ever appreciated. 

It was not the memories which was giving all the terrors to him, it was his past and his mind which was making up ideas. He had never had someone as close as Namjoon was, and he did not expect to find someone like that again. 

He had lost people before, but losing he had so much with wouldn't be it. It would take him down, break him probably. 

It never becomes the same, he was the love of his life, and would be forever, loving someone else or even the thought of it seemed wrong, he could not leave, he never did, all his life he had been stuck to this, and it became one of his core principles he cannot let go off, while seeing Jimin and Tae with their 10 years anniversary and then now being engaged, it made him happy, but it also made him urge to have it for himself. 

He had never been the type to hide it, and Yoongi did not, so it would be more proper to say he would not, not in his love, he would love openly, it did boil his blood to think of his Namjoon with someone else. And at this point, he did not know it was his jealousy or urge to show him that he was not scared to love him was making think what he was. 

It might be fucked up or it would be absolutely amazing.  

i couldn't think of anything 🔒
@sskjjn
i was going through photos, oh no
he really came like this to my place and expected us just to drink orange juice.