The POPSTAR that got away

The dangers of the school

I look for a few moments at George's car driving away and my heart longs for when I was still inside there, struck by fear because of Austin, but in pure awe when I saw Oliver.

The feelings inside me were so strong it took me everything in my power to not become the crazy fan Austin was accusing me to be. 

Now I feel in agony thinking I'll probably never see Oliver again this year since it is voiced he barely comes to classes and keeps to himself. And even if he saw me, he would probably remember me as the stalker who went to their house that day and got his brother all pissed. 

Great first impression.

I wonder if he saw me when I was in the car, so close to him. I wonder if he saw me, what he thought of me.

I look forward and realize George has dropped me in front of this big auditoria that has cubital letters on the front saying "WELCOME NEW STUDENTS ''. 

Time for orientation, I gulp down the thought in a mix of saliva and anxiety.

Being forced in a room full of students that I don't know and have no clue how to talk to. Great.

There are so many students and I know no one and again I feel out of place, as I have always felt all my life.

I go to sit in the front row so that I will be able to listen to the words of the instructors. You can never trust any other row but the first. Sound has a way of escaping everywhere before you can catch it. And you should never try to catch it anyways because sound is much faster since it moves without moving. Sound is interesting. It can shake things for hundreds of meters while it stands in the same place. Imagine having such an impact on people.

I sit awkwardly while I am lost in thoughts in some obscure corner of my mind, completely forgetting the world outside, someone shakes my shoulder. 

"Is this seat taken?" she asks with the same shy tone that I have when I speak.

I look around me and notice that although this place is packed, literally no one is sitting next to me.

I shake my head no to answer her question.

"I am Shakill," says the girl smiling, holding her hand in front of my body for me to shake it. It's such a formal gesture it is funny, I muse.

I see expectancy and fear and happiness reflected in her eyes as she waits to see if I'll shake her hand or not.

The Forest takes particular notice of this moment, this neuron is full of planktons.

Then she jumps into my arms and I am so shocked by her sudden gesture that I don' even know how to react until I see that someone just pushed her.

We both turn around, dazzled and we see a crowd of people has gathered next to us.

It's Austin.

My heart starts beating faster and butterflies inundate my stomach at the sight of his annoying smile. I curse myself for the butterflies in my stomach since I should be upset for how he treated me before but then I realize that I don't have butterflies because of him. I have butterflies because I realize that if he is here, maybe Oliver is too.

My eyes scan the room full of students in pure desperation to see him.

"Look, she is pretending she doesn't care," says someone nearby. 

I look up and see it is Austin's friend who spoke. I don't know if it is the tiredeness, the rush of hormones or whatever else, but finally something in me awakens and I am able to speak.

"Hey you pushed her, you should say sorry" I say,  looking at him directly.

He turns his gaze to me. The smirk on his face deflates like an open balloon. He seems to have lost his words and his blood to have forgotten that there are other directions to take but the cheeks.

His friends around him all go quiet now, embarrassed and confused by this turn of events.

Austin opens and closes his mouth like a fish looking for water a few times before leaving without a word of apologies. His friends follow suit.

Shakill looks very confused. "That was Austin. He is really really famous. You know who he is right? '' she says so quietly I can barely make out her words. "People usually don't talk to him like you did. They give him a pass to be a bully usually".

I scough, well Austin will have someone to put him in his place this year, I think satisfactorily because the admiration I had for the persona the tabloid had built has faded by meeting the real him.

"Welcome to DreamEscape High School, please take a seat now and be quiet"

says the instructor taking the stage.

I feel weird thinking that this is my first day here and I have already managed to have a fight with one of the two people I have wanted to meet my whole life. I wonder if Oliver is as idiotic as his brother is. Then I remember him singing under the tree and I convince myself that he could never be.

While Austin loved to give interviews to the paparazzi, although extra famous, it was always hard to find anything on Oliver because he is an extremely private person. 

I scan around the crowd quickly to see if I can spot him. His brother is easy to locate because he is sitting in a private space at the center of the auditorium delineated by red strands. 

But unfortunately Oliver is nowhere to be seen.

Then a cascade of violet hair flipping catches my attention. I gaze at the girl with the violet hair. She looks different from the other students. She has a very cool tattoo on her shoulder and dark makeup around her eyes. Everyone else looks so preppy while she looks like she knows a thing or two about life. I envy her a bit for being able to be herself and go against the current of trends.

Then I shift my gaze just a little to her right and there he is. Oliver. 

I feel my heart stopping for a moment. 

He is looking somewhere in the distance but not at the instructor. His hands are behind his back and he is leaning against the wall. His long black shiny hair fall on both sides of his white soft tank top. 

I look at how his black thick eyebrows furrow on top of his eyes, at the way his lips curve in the middle to form a heart, then I gaze down at the tattoos on his arms. He moves his arms in front of him and I start staring at his black painted fingernails and his hand tattoos. 

He looks so different from his brother who looks like he is a proper prep boy. 

I notice a movement to his left and I shift my gaze to see the girl with the violet hair is looking at me. In the split second I look I notice she elbows Oliver and points at me. 

He looks in my direction and for a moment our eyes meet. 

I feel like an electric current running through my veins. 

I shift my gaze forward right away and go back to look at the instructor.

My heart beats very fast in my chest. 

I have spent my whole life looking at pictures of Oliver and hoping so hard he could look back at me. See me. Think something, anything about me.

And today after all these years this has finally happened.

But strangely my heart is beating super fast but it's not beating because of joy.

A feeling of pure fear starts to raise in my chest and I can't quite pinpoint what prompted it. 

Then I realize it. 

Oliver looked at me like he wanted to hurt me. 

%%