The POPSTAR that got away

A closure

My heart pounds hard in my chest at the thought that after a long winter, I finally got a glimpse of Oliver again. 

The cocktail of hormones has a huge effect on my body and I am inundated by this good feeling which now begs me to stick around and see a little more of him. I doubt Diane wants me around, maybe she'd like me to leave, but instead all I want is to go and see him with her. 

She looks at me with an expression that leaves no doubt she is wondering why I haven't let yet. 

"Herm.. I am going to go to Oliver, I guess," she says.

I don't know if this is my feeling or this other entity or omen inside me but I don't care because I feel it all the same, strong and overpowering. The winter without him has been excruciating. I now need to see him, say hi to him. It feels like I am supposed to do that, like if it's already been written.

"Herm..." she says Diane ogling me. I can see she wants me to leave. 

"I'll come too to see them," I just say.

Her expression now shows irritation and I just wish she could understand and not care but I know that's not possible. 

So we start walking together towards the bridge at the center of the lake to reach Oliver and his friends on the other side. 

As we walk the wooden bridge suspended on top of the vast lake Diane manages to speak "why are you coming as well?" she asks and then looks at me, with such desperation in her eyes. 

"You like him, don't you?"

I just raise my shoulders and look in front of me. "Listen, I just need to talk to him about something," I say. Because that is the truth. I want to talk about that night at the library, when Austin told him I said I don't like him and I didn't defend myself. And maybe, have a chat, try to understand if he also has these weird feelings that do not quite belong to him but tell him stuff about the two of us as this sort of entity tells me.

"Please leave" begs Diane. 

"I need to talk to him, Diane, seriously," I say, finally gathering to courage to speak to him.

I see two tears flowing down her eyes and she stomps forward towards them at a fast pace, leaving me behind. I try to catch up but she is fast and I lag behind. 

"Can we talk?" she asks him as soon as she arrives, she is panting. The others look at her in a weird way. 

"You don't have to if you don't want to Oliver," says his male friend placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"Derek this is between me and him. Don't get in the middle of it" she says to the guy as more tears run down her  face.

"I don't want to have this kind of conversation Diane, not here and not now while I am hanging with my friends," says Oliver.

"I was your friend! I was your best friend!" she shrieks. 

Oliver shakes his head "I don't want to talk right now, not about that. You guys can join our walk. But I don't want to go there now".

"How can you not have time to talk to me after all that?" she cries.

"Maybe you should calm down now and then we can talk later," he says, calmly but sternly. 

"It's better if you leave now Diane, he is tired, he has just spent months on tour dealing with crazy fans, he doesn't need another one in his first day of vacation," says Derek. 

Diane at this point bursts into tears and she is literally screaming "Please, please, please" she yells as she gasps for air. She is having a panic attack.  

"Diane calm down," I say as I embrace her in a hug. 

The strong feeling that I felt that told me I was supposed to talk to Oliver today has subsided and I am focused on Diane now. 

"Let's go Diane, now!" I say in the most authorative tone I can muster. 

"Let go of me," she says as Oliver and the others are taking a few steps backwards to leave. 

To get free she slams my arms away but in doing so she slaps me, not on purpose but it's hard enough that I let out a small scream. 

Oliver darts towards us and grabs her hand. "Diane what are you doing?" he yells. "Are you acting like Austin now?" he mocks, then he turns towards me, looks me in the eyes and I wonder if he felt the strong electricity I felt. I know he did because I look at his raised hair on his arm and so I know we are on the same page. The black in his eyes enlarges to englobe the white and although his mouth is slightly open he doesn't say anything for what feels like way to long then he finally asks "You ok?" which sounds more like a statement than a question. 

"Yeah" I just say and then gulp. 

"If she calms down, why don't you come to have a chat with her later if that's ok with you?" I say in the most non treathening tone possible since Diane's scene wasn't the best. 

He keeps staring into my eyes intently. 

"Yeah, you should make sure she is ok now. Diane, I'll come talk to you ok? Just relax and calm down now and we can talk later. What I already told you the other time still stands so there is nothing to worry about if this is what this is about".

"No you don't get it" she yells loudly once again loosing control. 

"Please let's go now Diane," I beg her. 

"I'll walk you guys back. Does that sound good Diane?" asks the cool girl with the pink hair placing her arm around Diane's shoulders. 

"Diane I'll come by later today, ok?" asks Oliver.

She looks sad and confused but with the girl with the pink hair next to her she looks more at ease. 

So we take our separate paths. 

I look back once towards them because I am already feeling the panic of not being near him. I look in his direction and my heart stops when I see his head is turned in my direction and he is looking at me. 

I am stuck staring at him for a little too long and he breaks the awardness by bowing slightly his head in a gesture that means goodbye. 

I give him a little smile and do the same then turn to face the direction where we came from, towards our apartment.

On one side I feel sad for Diane, but on the other, I am exstatic I'll see him later today again.