The POPSTAR that got away

They return

%AUGUST 2023

I remembered all too well the agony I felt that winter without Oliver. I had felt at the top of the world seeing him my first day at the island only for the happiness to be taken away from me too soon. 

And seeing Diane and Oliver texting occasionally truly hurt me each time I noticed they were texting. 

But it was nothing compared to the pain I felt him for good. 

But finally, the day they returned arrived. I remember with precision when that day was: March 21st, the beginning of Spring.  So I slip impatiently into the next memory that the Forest of the Forever Moments will store for eternity. 

%% March 2015

I wake up before the sun has risen. Something disturbed my sleep. A weird agitation and excitement.

I peak outside my window and take in the mesmerizing sight of the sleeping lake and the mountains on the other side of it. 

I look at Shakill, sleeping peacefully in the bed on the other side of the room and I get a weird nostalgic feeling inside, as if I have missed her dearly and haven't seen her for years, despite the fact that we literally spend each waking moment together. We are basically blood sisters. 

I get up and wear my school uniform an then I adorn it with relics from my mother's collection stored in the trunk. 

As I am getting ready I hear noises outside the bedroom. 

Is Diane already studying in the other room?

These past months my jealousy that she was texting Oliver subsided and the three of us were able to spend every waking moment together studying and exploring the island. 

I get out of the bedroom and Diane jumps as if she was caught doing something she wasn't supposed to. 

"You, you gave me a heart attack Deity," she says, shivering. 

"I'll try not to open doors around you anymore," I reply, trying to make a joke. I have to admit, being around Oliver hasn't been so good for her mental health. She has been acting weirder and weirder lately. Her mood has dropped, she barely makes any jokes anymore, and she surely can't get one. 

I am starting to make jokes so simple even Shakill gets when I am being sarcastic, while Diane just looks in the distance, confused. 

She has also lost a lot of weight but each time we try to mention it she denies so both me and Shakill really don't know how to help her, besides trying to just be her friends. 

I notice she is not gonna answer to the joke I just made, instead she has gone back to look at the stillness of the lake outside our apartment. 

"What is going on Diane?" I ask her as I feel a weird omen tapping at the back of my brain which tells me that if I want to have a chance to change the future I need to pay more attention to small details. I have no clue what that means but the fact that it's a very strong feeling coming from inside my mind is enough to scare me. I have always had weird thoughts but since I have set foot to the island there have been times where these external thoughts which are not quite mine seem to prevail over my own. 

For instance, the primordial anger that I felt towards Austin felt like it wasn't my own. It was someone else's anger. But I felt it nonethless all the same. 

In these past few months, during which those external thoughts subsided, I have even wondered if I should have said sorry to Austin given I have felt guilty for how I acted. The only thing that  stopped me was that I logically reasoned through the things that he had done to me previously and concluded that arithmetically speaking the bad things that he did to me surpassed the bad one I did to him so I kind of forgot about him. 

Diane breaks my chain of thoughts when she takes a step outside and then leave without saying so much as a goodbye. 

I follow her right away. 

"Where are you going?" I ask her as the mountains breathe a gelid morning wind on our faces. 

The landscape in front of us is starting to pick up colors as the sun timidly and slowly rises. It must be no later than 5 am.

"Diane are you ok? What are you doing? Can you please answer me? You have been acting so darn weird, please!"

She doesn't answer, she just keeps staring in the distance, her eyes show a broken and lost soul.

I follow her eyes' gaze and then I see them. 

The girl with the violet hair, another girl which I have never seen before but that catches my attention because she is covered in tattoos and she looks very beatiful, two boys that  have nothing that stands out enough about them that I take notice of and finally, over there in the distance on the other side of the lake, too beautiful to be true, casting a stark contrast between him and all the people around him in this cold morning for his eternal beauty, there stands the person I have been longing for these past months, Oliver.

My heart starts beating so fast and my cheecks flush red. 

Standing next to the feeling of pure joy and excitement that he is finally back lurks another feeling in my mind. One that once again, I am sure, it is not my feeling. Feeling this external entity inside me scares me but I try to push the fear away. This other external feeling is of longing for him, a deep sadness for the loss of him. Which is weird since I myself am just over the moon excited that he is back. 

These external feelings are creeping me out lately. At first I thought they were my own, but over time I have learned to spot when they are not my own. 

I look at Diane next to me, there are rivers flowing down her eyes. 

"Diane," I manage to say and then I go quite because I suddenly feel a sadness and a concern which are not mine and they overthrow my mind violently with their impetuous strength. 

I hold her hand softly as I feel so sad to see her like this. 

"I'll be here if you want to talk" I just say as I go back to follow her gaze which is on the group of people on the other side of the lake. 

"He said that if I have feelings for him we shouldn't talk anymore" she just says, quietly as Shakill usually does. 

My heart stops because I know who she is referring to. I am confused about these words, why would he say this?

"What do you mean?" I ask. 

"Diane!" calls a strong voice from the other side of the lake. 

My legs feel weak. It's him.

"Diane what are you doing awake at this time? Would you like to join us?" he asks.