The POPSTAR that got away

The aftermath

I walk in front of Austin stumping my feet on the floor despite the pain. 

I feel stupid and humiliated. 

"Hey George," I say when I see the old driver waiting for us in the middle of the night. The situation seems almost unreal.

I enter in the front seat and shut the door loudly, then I try to sit without putting my feet on the floor so as to not ruin George's car. 

"Where to, Miss?" asks George formally. 

"My dorm room please George," I reply giving him instructions of where my room is. 

I glance at the review mirror and catch Austin giggling and then infuriates me. I know he is laughing at me. 

I look back into the darkness outside the window the rest of the night. 

We pass in front of their mansion and I look to see whether Oliver's there. My heart starts racing when I see his motorcycle is back where it was. 

We keep driving through the sleeping island roads back to the school village. 

As soon as we arrive I thank George and shut the car door. 

I tell myself not to look back at Austin but I can't help it and I glance at him. 

He is looking at me with a mocking smile on his lips. 

That nauseates me so I turn on my hills and go back into the apartment. 

Diane is sleeping on the sofa as always. 

I try not to wake her as I make my way to the bedroom. 

I sit on my bed and watch the stillness of the lake outside as I listen to Shakill's breathing. 

I am confused and irritated and happy and excited and sad about what happened tonight. As I try to understand my emotions I sit motionless, waiting for the morning.

--

I don't know when my rational thoughts ceased to fill my head and sleep took over but a gentle knocking on my window awakens me. My head hurts from the hungover and from the fact that I haven't been able to properly sleep it off yet. I was still in the middle of a dream and it feels like I just felt asleep a few minutes ago. 

But as soon as I locate the source of the irritating noise the tiredeness in my body is washed away by waves of excitement. 

Oliver is at my window. His face farmed by the dark blue night sky. 

I jump out of the bed, trying not to wake Shakill up and then as silently I walk behind the sofa where Diane is sleeping and finally make my way outside. 

Now that time has passed I have made up my mind on what to tell Oliver.

I walk with a decisive gait towards him and although he looks like he has a million things to say to me I place my finger on his lips and I start talking first. 

"I know you didn't mean to drug me without my consent and I won't call the police and I don't want you to call the police and turn yourself in. It was a misunderstanding, I get it. You have nothing to worry about," I blurt out with confidence, sure this is the reason he is worried. 

I was sure these words would fix his mood and would give us a chance to start anew. 

But then the memories of what happened just a few hours ago with Austin resurfaced in my mind and gripped my heart.

Oliver's expression  changed to disgust. 

"What did he do to you Deity?" he roared.

That took be aback as I had never seen him loosing control. I was used to see Austin being always unable to control his emotions, but Oliver always looked detached and untouched by the event taking place around him. 

"Come with me" he said grabbing my hand and leading me towards his motorcycle. 

But as we reached it he turned around to face me and again there was disgust in his face.

"Are you in love with me AND Austin at the same time Deity?"

His words slapped me in the face and I took a step backwards as if the blow had been physically real. 

I want to say something but it seems like my selective mutism has return so I just look in his eyes and I feel hurt. 

He scoffs and gets on the motorcycle without letting his gaze off of me. 

I look as he wraps his long lean legs on the bike and something inside of me twitches at the thought of having those legs wrapped around me. 

Then I snap out of my daydream as Oliver lets out a tisk of disgust. 

"What is wrong with you?" I ask more as a plead to make him realise that he is hurting me than with any sort of anger in my voice. 

He looks at me and in his eyes I see an anger an fury that I feel scared and I take another step backwards. 

He snatches his arm and grabs my arm and with more force than a human has pulls me so close to him our noses touch. 

He looks down on my lips and then brings his eyes back up to mine. 

His grip is to tight on my arm it hurts so I try to wiggle my arm away, but he just grabs it harder. 

"Yes, you should be scared of us, that is the only senseful thing you have done so far". 

With that he leaves his grip on me and then adds "Stay away from Austin and me, stop trying your hardest to hang with either of us, it is obvious to anyone, and it's getting annoying, especially when you don't even know how to behave",  he says and then departs on his motorcycle and all I am left with our wet tears and the sight of sand flying in the air displaced by the bike.