The marine RWBY x Male reader

Back to the palace

Benedict bundles Yang into a thunderhawk and Weiss climbs into her seat. The thunderhawk then sets off for one of the landing pads at the Imperial palace.

Weiss: So what are we going to do with this? (Pokes Yang with her foot)

Benedict: Well, I'd presume that when we get to the palace we put her in a bed and wait for her to sober up.

Weiss: Don't you have any instant hangover medicine?

Benedict: We have hover tanks, space ships, and planet cracking weaponry, but we don't have anything to deal with hangovers beyond an aspirin and a cold shower. When one is constantly at war, it is considered a waste to worry about hangovers.

Weiss: Wait, we've been living in such splendor while there is a war on?

Benedict: Yeah, our empire spans over millions of planets, and on a good sized chunk of those planets, we are fighting someone or something.

Weiss: (looks quizzically at Benedict)

Benedict: Orcs, Tau, Eldar, Chaos forces, and just plain old traitors. It's a mess. And these wars aren't cheap either, since I started this conversation, we have spent more than what it cost to build the White Palace and Saiangrad.

Weiss: How can something cost that much?

Benedict: Because the Imperium makes enough to break even on most days, it's ok.

Weiss: What is the human cost?

Benedict: Eh, a hundred million or so per hour .

Weiss: How do you still have any people left to rule over?

Benedict: Because, on average, over a billion people are born each hour. The Imperium's survival is a numbers game. We build more supplies than we expend each day, more soldiers are born each day than are killed. We are winning, but it is a slow process. The Eldar can't replace their numbers, so if it takes a hundred guardsmen to kill one, it is a good rate. The tau can replace their numbers, but not nearly as quick as we can ours. The Orcs repopulate via spores, so we can replace our troops at the same rate but there are more of us so we can usually get it under control. And as far as chaos goes, none of us really have an idea where we stand. So all in all, it is just a matter of time before just about everything is under the control of the Imperium.

Weiss: Well, good luck with conquering the galaxy.

Benedict: You seem remarkably calm given what I just told you.

Weiss: Having taken into consideration what you just said, the problems can't be fixed by some overstressed overpaid administrator complaining. And besides, we are now a banking company, if the Imperium does well, we do well.

Benedict: Has anyone ever told you that you are brilliant?

Weiss: Multiple people have told me that.

Benedict: Well, they aren't lying. We should have tea some time.

Weiss: I'd like that.

Yang: (drunkenly) TITTIES!

Weiss and Benedict chuckle.

Pilot: Your Majesty, we will be landing shortly, please be seated.

The thunderhawk then lands and Benedict princess carries Yang to her bedroom and tucks her in.

Weiss: You'd make a good father.

Benedict: Taking care of one drunk does not a father make.

Weiss: True, but you could hardly do worse than my fathers.